Feeling sad about not being able to eat... (didn't expect that)

I'm only a couple of weeks out but I have been feeling really sad the past couple of days when I have to eat. I really feel a sort of loss that I can't overeat. I have read about people mourning the end of their overeating but I had no idea I would feel like this.

I'm trying to focus on the positive while acknowledging my sadness and moving through it instead of ignoring it. I guess I'm just surprised by these feelings and also the feeling of being sorry for hurting myself with food for so long. I look at my body and my stretch marks and I say to myself, "I'm sorry I did that to you/to myself...food was my way to cope...even though it ended up causing me so much pain/isolation/physical problems, etc."

Wow...this is heavy stuff. To the veterans out there...any advice on moving through this? Is it normal? How long does it take to embrace this new way of life? I know it's only temporary but I just need to hear it from someone else...Thanks.

Well Im not a vet, but went through this hard core the first couple of weeks out, its getting better.  I know for me the first couple weeks, everytime I looked at the scale i felt a little better because it was steadily going down so that made the food mourning a little easier to digest. It really has gotten easier so hang in there, I still miss certain foods tremendously, but its no where near the depression it was week 1 and 2.

Hang in there, it does get better!

 Yep, me too!  From other posters here, I also understand that our bodies are quite outraged, and hormones are going crazy right after surgery! After I had been home about a week, I broke down into tears, and told my husband I simply missed eating...It's hard to let go of your good buddy, eating, as they are always there for you and make you feel better!!! Hang in there-it will pass, and you will be dropping weight so fast, you won't even look back!!  

Well, I don't consider myself a full on vet, but I did have my surgery over a year ago, and I will be flat out honest and tell you that I still get a little sad when I am in the mood to overeat and know I can't (well, technically I could force it, but I choose not to, I have worked way too hard for this). 

My trouble now, is finding a new way to cope with feelings.  Unfortunately, this has lead to a lot of verbal diarrhea spewing on my part, but hey, at least it's not on my hips. 

So I guess I am not philosophical, but I am honest in how I feel when it comes to this subject.  It is near and dear to my heart as I seriously worry about re-gaining the weight I have lost. 

I just try to be honest and open and accountable for my actions.

I no longer let the whole day go if I F up one meal or slip and have a small candy bar in a moment of weakness (I don't dump, but I do suffer from sugar crashes-OMG they SUCK!).  So I don't actually do that often, but it does happen.

I also had to change my perspective on things.  This was the most difficult, but luckily I had prior to surgery.  I was always the person that thought of the glass as half empty.  Now, I can honestly say I think of the glass as half full. 

This has helped me greatly. 

I hope this helps you in some way. 

Lil Moon

 I had a really hard time and thought I would never be able to eat all the stuff I love again. Now after four and a half months I finally am at peace with it. I think its because I had complications so I was just eating bean soup and cheese and yogurt for every meal and I was getting so tired of it. Now I can eat a lot more and I make lots of different recipes. It will get better. We understand how you are feeling and are here for you. I know it's a really lonely feeling, not being able to turn to food, but it will get better.

i sobbed the other night over not being able to have a comfort cookie or candy bar. thats what i did if i had a rough day. but instead i had a piece of cheese, got the cry out & woke up feeling much better. youll get over this hump. *hugs*

I have been on the roller coaster of food feelings.

In the beginning (like the 1st two weeks) no desire to eat but OBSESSED with watching the Food Network.

Then it was kind of like, eh, who cares about food.  I ate what I had to, because I had to.  Not much pleasure to be gained.  Nothing tasted 'right'.

Then about 9 months out, I started testing the waters - a bite of this, a taste of that.  At that point, I was a few lbs below my initial goal of 150.  I learned what foods I could and could not tolerate.

Now, at a little more than 18 months out, I can eat for pleasure again.  I still have a good bit of restriction, because even one bite too many is uncomfortable for me.  I do not drink with meals, and wait 30 minutes to an hour after eating before drinking.  I enjoy an occasional ****tail (usually flavored vodka and Crystal Light - still cannot tolerate carbonation or sweetened mixers).

I do have the occasional moment where I "wish I could eat a big A** bowl of spaghetti" or some other favorite from the past, but for the most part, I know that I can have a reasonable portion, and I enjoy the health benefits of being at a normal weight more than the extra serving of whatever it is.

The one food I truly miss is ice cream.  I LOVED ice cream.  A LOT!!!!  The combination of fat and sugar just does me in now - I can eat a quarter of a cup, no problem.  Half a cup and I suffer.  I HATE that ice cream places have sizes that start at Ginormous and go up from there.  Even when I order a "baby size", it is more ice cream than I can eat in three sittings. 

 I am so right there with you.  My son thinks I have been possessed  as I seem to be yelling at him every five minutes for stooopid stuff.  

We have lived for so long swallowing my feelings topped with a greasy gooey what ever was at hand.  Now that I can no longer swallow what makes me sad, I have no idea how to deal with my emotions.  So.... I started walking and listening to books.  Has it fixed what ails me?  Nope.  On the other hand I feel better about myself.  

Dealing with my feelings for the first time in years and years is so hard and so sad and so miserable.  It has to get better... it has to.

Things will turn around for you when you start to see the weight fall off and you start fitting into cuter clothes.  Your self esteem will be so high you will not want to go back to your old eating habits.  Sure you will want to eat some off limit foods like pizza and sweets every now and then.  Later down the road you will be able to but most likely you will not want much of it as you will not want to ruin your success.  It does take time, and you will get there!!  Hang in there.

I won't lie to you and tell you that it passes completely. It gets much better but doesn't completely pass. At times, there are things that I truly wish I could eat more of. There are moments it's actually sad that I can't eat more of certain things.

For me, the best way to combat that is when I have things that I know I'm going to be interested in eating, I ask for a box immediately. I put most of it into a box and as I'm eating thinking about how great it is, I remind myself that I can eat it again for lunch the next day and dinner too!

It's totally normal. My best advice is to remove the excess food the minute you get it. That way it doesn't feel or look like you're leaving it behind but rather it gets to feel like you are cleaning your plate. For the most part, you get used to it and it goes away.