Today's a new day

I have a son with special needs (autism) and had to take him to his yearly eye doctor appointment. He has a lot of anxiety and doesn't understand what they are doing to him at the appointment so I end up having to hold him down so they can look in his eyes. It always leaves me physically and emotionally exhausted. He's 8 and they have finally suggesting doing his appointments at the hospital under anesthesia. I'm relieved but also saddened because I feel like this is taking 10 steps backward with him.

So at 7 weeks post op I have to say this was the biggest emotional event I've gone through so far. (There will certainly be more to come.) I know to comfort myself I used to eat. And last night that's what I wanted to do for the first time since my RNY. I felt a little anxious because I really wanted to eat to take the pain away but I didn't and today is a new day and I'm recovering from yesterday just as well as if I had tried eating my sadness away. I hope to remember that and not use food when sadness comes along in my life.

I'm sorry it was such a hard day yesterday.  I'm glad you got through it without eating your feelings, though.  What a victory and what a good lesson you've learned.  And if you could do that, when it was something to do with your son, who I bet is the most  important person in the world to you, then you can certainly do it in the future with other things that even as... what's the word?  Big or meaningful?

Know what else?  I don't think you're taking ten steps back with your son.  I think it's actually a big step forward.  Because you, and the eye doctor, have figured out something that he needs, something that will make life much easier for him (for you too, I think, but he's the important one here).  Learning what you can do to help your son is always a step forward.  And you'll probably spend the rest of your life doing that.  And each time is a step forward.

Thanks Kelly,
You are right, I should see it as a step forward because its going to be less stressful for him and me! I know this will eventually have to happen for dentist appointments as well. Its very hard raising a child with special needs (he needs 24/7 supervision and help with dressing/washing up) and it has taken everything out of me at times and I've turned to food in the past. Last night was my first hurdle in doing something good for myself instead of harmful. RNY was the start of my new life so I can take care of myself so I can better take care of him. 

Depression is almost the norm for many post ops. Your whole life has changed, especially since a lot of your life revolved around a lot of eating preop.  Female horemones go nuts too, which may add to the anxiety or mood issues dealing with your daily routine, including dealing with the issue you mentioned.  It's not a shame to get evaluated for script meds to help with depression and anxiety.  I had these issues preop, and I still use the same meds some 5 years post op. DAVE

Thanks Dave, unfortunately my son's appointments are so traumatic for both him and my husband and I that we all need the rest of the day to recover.  Usually its better the next day and today I had my morning 3 mile walk and I am refreshed.  I have dealt with depression in the past and you are right it is no shame to be evaluated when the need is there and if it comes back I know not to waste my days feeling blue because life is too short.

I don't mean to yell ... BUT I AM SO VERY PROUD OF YOU!!!! You didn't turn to food ... you didn't emotionally eat.  That is HUGE!  Thank you so much for that lesson, I know I will face that wall one day on my journey and I hope I remember to think of you.  Great job!

Thanks for YELLING! I needed to hear that. That was the first time I didn't (and couldn't) turn to food. I remember thinking last night how I wanted that feeling of sitting down on the couch with a big plate of food and eating myself into a food coma. Its the first time I was able to actually think about those feelings and recognize what triggered it. Plus all the foods I used to use (starches and sweets) when I felt that way I have eliminated from my diet and eating a lot of meat or cheese or yogurt wasn't appealing so I grabbed a book and read.