Bad, bad day .... and a general update
OT: First of all the new job is incredibly stressful. The project I was hired for got yanked back to the main plant, 300 miles away. To stay employed I took a lesser paying position with a significantly reduced title and stuff. No longer an engineer. Now I'm a tech and am hourly. Sucks and I'm pissed.
Even though the project I was working on has been shipped out, I'm still getting calls about it. Today I got royally chewed for things that I had no hand in. And everybody seems to forget, I've only been with the company less than 4 months. I'm PMSing and had a complete and total meltdown. Last week was 60 hours of hell and this week is shaping up to be as bad. Now they're expecting me to continue putting in 60 hours a week on salary. At least when I'm hourly I'll get over time.
And how did I deal with this stress today? I ate a bag of Funyuns. I had my grilled chicken breast from McD's then I stopped at a gas station and got a small bag of Funyuns. This is my first big defiant deviation from my plan. I did it on purpose. I'm a dumper too. I dump on sugar, sugar alcohols, fat and carbs. I had a real, complete dumping episode. I actually tried to throw up I felt so bad. Then came the sweats and the shakes and the feeling like I could sleep for 10 years. Needless to say lesson learned. Just made a really bad day worse.
What bothers me is my automatic reaction to being so stressed was to turn to food. I've been this stressed before, last week for instance. I think alot of this had to do with hormones. But still.... This behavior is what got me to 350lbs to begin with. Luckily I do dump or I imagine this would happen more often. I need to get back to the therapist and I need to find another job.
AND my dad saw his nephrologist (kidney specialist) today. His bloodwork was AWESOME!! He's in stage 4 kidney failure and has a huge problem keeping his hemoglobin up. They actually did a bunch of tests over the summer to see if he was bleeding internally. I told him about having to take iron seperate from calcium and 2 months later his labs are significantly improved. His doctor had no idea. That's freaking awesome news. They're going to celebrate by going out to eat and I'm invited. I love Red Lobster but nothing sounds good. Maybe the guilt and lingering effects of the Funyuns. I probably need sleep more than I need seafood.
And I've been online dating. It's weird. I've had a profile up for years and when I posted this pic:
I've gotten tons and tons of emails. I don't think I'm that hot. Maybe it's the career??? Who knows. I'm enjoying dating really for the first time in my life. I'm upfront about the surgery too.
So that's what's been happening with me, lol.
Even though the project I was working on has been shipped out, I'm still getting calls about it. Today I got royally chewed for things that I had no hand in. And everybody seems to forget, I've only been with the company less than 4 months. I'm PMSing and had a complete and total meltdown. Last week was 60 hours of hell and this week is shaping up to be as bad. Now they're expecting me to continue putting in 60 hours a week on salary. At least when I'm hourly I'll get over time.
And how did I deal with this stress today? I ate a bag of Funyuns. I had my grilled chicken breast from McD's then I stopped at a gas station and got a small bag of Funyuns. This is my first big defiant deviation from my plan. I did it on purpose. I'm a dumper too. I dump on sugar, sugar alcohols, fat and carbs. I had a real, complete dumping episode. I actually tried to throw up I felt so bad. Then came the sweats and the shakes and the feeling like I could sleep for 10 years. Needless to say lesson learned. Just made a really bad day worse.
What bothers me is my automatic reaction to being so stressed was to turn to food. I've been this stressed before, last week for instance. I think alot of this had to do with hormones. But still.... This behavior is what got me to 350lbs to begin with. Luckily I do dump or I imagine this would happen more often. I need to get back to the therapist and I need to find another job.
AND my dad saw his nephrologist (kidney specialist) today. His bloodwork was AWESOME!! He's in stage 4 kidney failure and has a huge problem keeping his hemoglobin up. They actually did a bunch of tests over the summer to see if he was bleeding internally. I told him about having to take iron seperate from calcium and 2 months later his labs are significantly improved. His doctor had no idea. That's freaking awesome news. They're going to celebrate by going out to eat and I'm invited. I love Red Lobster but nothing sounds good. Maybe the guilt and lingering effects of the Funyuns. I probably need sleep more than I need seafood.
And I've been online dating. It's weird. I've had a profile up for years and when I posted this pic:
I've gotten tons and tons of emails. I don't think I'm that hot. Maybe it's the career??? Who knows. I'm enjoying dating really for the first time in my life. I'm upfront about the surgery too.
So that's what's been happening with me, lol.
Um, wow! You have lots going on don't you?
I can't believe you dump like that on a little bit of Funyons, I don't "dump" on anything, but big amounts of sugar or fat (like fried foods) make me feel bad, but not horrible. Not like you. I sometimes wi**** did then I could avoid it more, not that I do it often, but like tonight we were at Red Robin for dinner and my son got onion rings and I had one really really small one. Anyway.
So your dating, awesome. I think it is the picture and your new found hottness that is getting you the dates, not the job!
I can't believe you dump like that on a little bit of Funyons, I don't "dump" on anything, but big amounts of sugar or fat (like fried foods) make me feel bad, but not horrible. Not like you. I sometimes wi**** did then I could avoid it more, not that I do it often, but like tonight we were at Red Robin for dinner and my son got onion rings and I had one really really small one. Anyway.
So your dating, awesome. I think it is the picture and your new found hottness that is getting you the dates, not the job!
The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. ~ Ayn Rand
Wt loss lead to a lot of hormonal changes, which in turn can lead to anxiety, depression, etc. You might find some relief in talking to a medical professional, as you may have some depression. Yes, stress eating can be an issue--so you need to get it in check ASAP. Even at over 5 years, I've had some bad events that challenge my eating habits in the past few months. Good luck on your journey. DAVE
Dave Chambers, 6'3" tall, 365 before RNY, 185 low, 200 currently. My profile page: product reviews, tips for your journey, hi protein snacks, hi potency delicious green tea, and personal web site.
Wow-you look amazing! I'm with ya sista about the job stress.
I wish you well and hope you can find another job soon.
Taking a walk, while a good idea, doesn't work well for me
so I do the occasional York peppermint patty when it's either
that or me getting crazy on somebody. Hang in there and
keep up being beautiful.
I wish you well and hope you can find another job soon.
Taking a walk, while a good idea, doesn't work well for me
so I do the occasional York peppermint patty when it's either
that or me getting crazy on somebody. Hang in there and
keep up being beautiful.
Jan
One thing..I think it's great you ate Funyuns. Really..that's a normal response for you when you are stressed out. And you are at the top of the stress ladder. What you got reinforced is that it won't work. I have had to learn this lesson over and over about Cheetos. Really they are my valium. Stress night at work..food cart rolls around and there they are. My happy little drug.
What saves me is that if I do buy them and eat them I'm going to feel really bad in about half an hour. How bad I don't know but it's going to be some level of awful. Sometimes I buy the bag. Sometimes it's worth it. Most times I don't even think about them.
Having Rny surgery keeps me from going back "on to" cheetos.
Oh..and have fun dating.
Deb T.
What saves me is that if I do buy them and eat them I'm going to feel really bad in about half an hour. How bad I don't know but it's going to be some level of awful. Sometimes I buy the bag. Sometimes it's worth it. Most times I don't even think about them.
Having Rny surgery keeps me from going back "on to" cheetos.
Oh..and have fun dating.
Deb T.
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