what is wrong with me! UGH!

I have been ccrying my eyes out. I live at home with my mom and dad. I am 29 but I still do. anyways, today I ate a chocolate bar. My mom was like what happened to that chocolate bar? I was like I ate it. SHe was like, After I am doing all this for you for your surgery and you eat a chocolate bar? I feel like a complete failure. My surgery is at the end of January. And I feel like I am a major failure. I really hate myself sometimes. God forgive me for sayin that but its hard to love ME when I keep eating the wrong things.

Don't beat yourself up. I was horrible with my eating pre-op. I gained 13 lbs and was scared to go to my pre-op appointment, thinking my Dr. would postpone my surgery. According to my surgeon, most people do gain weight pre-op, meaning the people who dont have to be on a pre-op diet. Just pick yourself back up and keep moving forward!

awwww hey we all do things we are not proud of, dont beat yourself up about a chocolate bar...really I mean it. We didnt get this way because we are know what we are doing. We are going through this process to make ourselves better people and so I say call it your last chocolate bar and move on. Learn that if you dont want to feel the way you are feeling now, dont eat it. Everything in this whole process is a learning tool. Trust me when I say you physically wont be able to do that after surgery, and im not sure about you but for me its the perfect situation. You CANT overeat or eat the wrong foods but you know all of this..so take what your feeling write it out somewhere safe and keep it until after surgery just to see how much you have changed. This post is about you eating 1 little chocolate bar but in a few months you will be posting about losing 30 pounds and not wanting chocolate at all! Try to have a good day and like I said take it in stride and move on. At least you feel guilty and know it wasnt the best choice you could have made, thats more then some people I know going through this who just eat and dont care.
Take care

I had a bucket list of food I wanted to eat presurgery. Not the right mindset I know but I don't regret it I did exercise a little and I lost weight still so I had the opportunity to say goodbye to buffets, pan pizza, pasta galore, and donuts. I know live for squash, mushrooms, fish, turkey and on occasion I eat a piece of sf chocolate. To much sf candy and u spend the day in the bathroom...
I wrote a journal of what I ate and why and I noticed a few things. My monthly week I ate uncontrollably. I still fight myself a liitle with that but do my best not to keep unhealthy stuff at my finger tips. It was easier for me post surgery somedays I force myself to eat. You may find that hard to believe and I don't know how long that will last but I enjoy many other things now than my next meal.
However I think your Mom should try not to leave bad choices at your finger tips either. I have my two adult daughters living with me also and I'm paying for one to have surgery also. She has her food challenges also just like I did I.m hoping she is saying goodbye to "old friends" and preparing for a much healthier happier life.
Your Mom loves you and she wants good things for your life.
Go for a nice walk and clear your head and start over we all fall from grace on occasion just dust yourself off and get back up.

Wow.  I'm glad I don't live with your mom.  If there is any way at all to move - do it.  Subsidized housing, roommate, 2nd/3rd job.... whatever.... you will be happier.  I can't imagine what she will be like after you have surgery - policing your intake.  Miserable!

As for the chocolate bar, you haven't had anything done yet.  What is she to expect?  AND - after surgery - you can still have chocolate.  I do dump, but a "fun sized' bar isn't enough to bother me and if I want chocolate, I have it.  Unless it is a clear trigger food, it is likely that you can still have chocolate and most of your other favorites post-op.

Don't be so hard on yourself! 
Laura

now i know i was a mess when i was going thru the first few weeks of my journey but there was nothing that spun me into a level of pissed off i have never seen before more then my Jim asking me" are you sure you can eat all that?" it must have been the look i gave him, cause he never did ask me that again,,

darlin' don't beat yourself up about it,,,i know it's your Mom and all and it hurts your feelings but your either gonna have to grow thicker skin or as Laura said above me here "move out"cause soon your (hormone related)emotions will be all over the place after you have the surgery and sometimes it's uncontrolable,so please try to get yourself mentally or physically to a place that will be alittle more stressfree,,trust me on this

wow! that's intense! If you had ANY idea what I've been chowing down on for the last week....  My op is tuesday & By God, I've been enjoying my 'last meal' for like 5 meals! lol @ my dumas. A quote i've always liked: "an error doesn't become a mistake, until YOU refuse to correct it" i do not know who the author was, but when you really think about it.... it makes a LOT of sense. Please don't be so hard on yourself. there will be moments of weakness throughout your life and with things other than food. Accept those moments and simply learn from them. If you are that hard on yourself throughout this entire battle, you will go crazy. We are here for you though. Take Care!!!!!

You're human.

We all do these things.  We all WILL do these things.  It comes with the territory.

Talk to her, she has to know how hard it is for you to be a better support person.  Blaming and pointing fingers will just make you feel bad about yourself.

You didn't do anything wrong - you just gave in to temptation - it's NORMAL.

You are not a failure. We all have times where we eat something we shouldn't. Even after surgery. No one is perfect. Eating the bad things and not exercising are what got all of us where we are or once were. You can always try to eat better but once in awhile, something is going to eat at you, until you eat it, lol. Like anyone with an addiction to something...drinking, smoking, shopping. It's hard to change a lifestyle we have had for so long. There will be days we do something we wish we hadn't. We accept we slipped up and move forward. I'm sure your mom is not fully understanding of everything and maybe she doesn't know how to say something without coming across as coming down on you. Good luck!

nothing is wrong with you. One chocolate bar nor your mom's opinion does not mean you will fail. She is probably afraid for you and wants you to succeed. Being addicted to sugar is a hard addiction to overcome. The surgery has really helped me leave my sugar addiction behind. You will have the same benefit.