what is wrong with me! UGH!

Okay, let's step back and take a look at this shall we.

First, why are you having weight loss surgery?

Somewhere in the answer, I believe one of the things you would list is that you have issues with controlling what you eat and the amount.  Is this correct?

Well, if this is correct, then would it not seem "normal" that you would eat a candy bar if you came upon a candy bar?  I mean really...

Now, after you have surgery, if you eat the candy bar, I would understand your mother's frustration, but pre-op, over eating and choosing poorly is sorta what is expected.

If you did not overeat or choose poorly, why would you even need the surgery to begin with?

Personally, if I was your mother, I would see the eaten candy bar as further confirmation that weight loss surgery is the best treatment for you.  Just saying...

When your tool is in place and working, I seriously doubt that eating an entire candy bar is going to be an issue for you.

I also think most of us who are obese probably have some difficulty loving ourselves when we keep making poor food choices, so understand that this is all part of the journey you're on and the healing that will hopefully take place for you.

Hang in there and each day try and find at least one thing you like about yourself.  Then look at yourself in the mirror, at least four times each day, and say what it is that you like about you that day.  You're smart maybe?  Kind?  Funny?  Lovable?  Artistic? You've got some great qualities, and this is what you need to begin focusing on... 

Do this everyday, and believe it or not, before long you're gonna start appreciating your special qualities rather than focusing on the negative ones.  Keep in mind, we become what we focus our thoughts upon. 

Wishing you the absolute best!!!

 This post reminds me about the pre-op support meeting where our support person came with us and it continued through lunch.  When noon came everyone pulled out their little salad to eat. The support person next to me went to a McDonalds, came back and opened up this big greasy burger, large coke, and deep fired fries and started to eat.  I could have strangled her.  Why would she do this in front of her daughter or the rest of us for that matter.  Some people have no common sense.  
So maybe you should ask your mom to keep her treats out of sight.  

From your avi and your post, I'm going to assume you're a single mom and need your parents help right now. There's nothing wrong with that. You are not a failure. Lots of us, myself included, have gone through that.  If you do not want to live with your parents, I hope you have a plan in place and are taking the necessary steps to get to your goal of being self-sufficient. Until then, do whatcha gotta do to survive.

Moms are fun, huh? Try not to let her get to you too much...

Laura

Don't be so hard on yourself. All I can say is enjoy your food now when you can. I'm just finishing my third week of fasting and it's been hard as hell and let me tell you I'm glad i'm not sitting here fantasizing about some morsel of food I denied myself preop. The time will come when a choccolate bar will not be an option for you. And gently ask your mother to lay off on the guilt trips and don't allow yourself to succumb to them. All the best to you and keep that chin up. It's your job to be the best friend to yourself that you'll ever have. You *are* worthy. :hugs