One year Surgiversary on Jan 10th and struggling like crazy

I have my one year Surgiversary on January 10th. My one year post op is Jan 12th. I am down 130+ pounds total, but last few months has been hard. I have been struggling big time. I had been living mainly on protein so the weight loss was doing better and then starting putting carbs back in my diet, then came the holidays:( Two weeks ago I was 198 pounds and this morning I was 208 pounds. I am mortified, embarassed and feel awful.

The holidays has always been a hard time for me. My mom and I didn't bake any cookies this year, which was a first ever and I was doing decent until a couple weeks ago, then bam I started with head/emotional hunger and craving every carb they ever made. To add to it, I am newly dating and my boyfriend is overweight and has a laissez faire attitude about food, and oh you need to eat more and one chocolate covered strawberry won't hurt, etc. He is at my house the majority of the time, and brings in all kinds of carbs and junk. Not to mention his mom is a wonderful cook (not healthy tho) and a royal food pusher. It was much easier when I was living solo, it wasn't the holidays and I had better control.

I feel so horrible, that I'm not even a year post op and I managed to gain weight, how awful. Today I re-dedicated myself to less carbs and more protein and I did stick to that. I haven't been on the boards in forever, and I need to at least a few times a week so that I can feel connected. Part of it is I feel so alone in my struggles and like the world is against me and I am against myself, old food demons are coming back and it scares me but I WILL NOT FAIL.

Thanks for letting me vent. Any tips, sugggestions, or private messages are most welcome. I did find the BOTT group so I am going to check that out more extensively.

With hugs and love,
Kimberly

Have you tried asking your boyfriend and his mom for support?  And telling them specific things they could do to help?  Like asking your boyfriend to bring you healthy treats (and telling him specifically what those might be, like fresh fruit) instead of chocolates?  That might not change things, but it might.

No I have not as of yet. That is a great suggestion though.He is coming over tonight and I think we are going to have a heart to heart. He stays at my house sometimes and brings candy etc. And I am going to have him start leaving it in his truck so it is out of my sight and mind. As for this mother, I don't think asking her for support will help.

As of January 2nd, 2012 I am going back to living mainly on protein only. I was doing great at getting all my protein in when I could drink protein drinks, and I liked not having to deal with food much and the cravings where a lot better, but then the protein drinks starting giving me massive diarrhea:( It seems like when I went off the protein drinks, my food cravings began.

Thanks for the quick post with excellent suggestions! Happy New Year!

See, I think most people usually want to be helpful and kind, but they might think giving us treats like candy are kind when it's really not helpful to us that want to lose weight and eat healthy.  My partner likes to bring home a treat like candy for me when he goes to the grocery stores and I know it's that he wants to surprise me with something he knows I like but don't get that often.  I had to let him know that I'd rather have a treat like fresh raspberries (my favorite food in the whole world) than sweettarts, even though the sweettarts are yummy too.

I'm gonna assume your boyfriend wants to help you and wants you to be happy, so I would let him know real specifically what it is you'd like.

All sound advice. Thank you. My favorite is fresh strawberries and oranges, yummmmm.

 It is very nlikely that you actually gained 10 pounds in just 2 weeks... That would require you to have eaten around 35,000 EXTRA calories in that 2 week period, and no matter how many additional carbs and holiday treats you ate, I cannot believe that it was that many extra calories!  Some of it is undoubtedly water weight.

You definitely need to communicate to your boyfriend the impact that this is having on you. He needs to understand that controlling what you eat is IMPORTANT to you and that you need his support in keeping yourself healthy.  If he will not support you in that, he will likely not support you in other areas, either...

Lora

That idea did cross my mind, that there is no way I ate 35,000 extra calories but who knows. I just know I am back on track and thankful for everyones words of wisdom. I am going to go back to weighing myself daily because that is another thing that seemed to help.

The bf and I will be communicating tonight or tomorrow specifically about what I need and we will see how that goes.

I really believe this is our personal journey - one that we have to undertake by ourselves, for ourselves.   Is it reasonable to expect that you would get support from your boyfriend and his mum?  Yes, but other people are not always reasonable.   They may be ignorant of what it means to have this surgery, how small your window of opportunity is to lose this weight, and what is expected for you to keep it off in the long term.

I think it is wholly possible for you to have gained 10lbs in a few weeks - if you have a screwed up metabolism (any many former MO people do), you won't need to eat thousands and thousands of calories to gain a few pounds. 

This journey is yours for life - you really need to pull on your big girl knickers and decide that you rearranged your guts for a reason - to lose weight and be healthy and no one but YOU is going to take responsibility for that.   We teach people how to treat us and believe me, your boyfriend's mother would not persuade me to eat something I knew was not good for me - however upset she got!  You need to be assertive and your own advocate - declining things firmly and assuredly with a "thanks but no thanks, I'm afraid I can't" should be enough for your boyfriend, his mother, and complete strangers - it is not the start of a negotiation but the end of any discussion!!!!

As adults we don't need to explain our actions, especially if people aren't listening!

Now, I'm hoping I didn't read that you had lost your weight purely on protein drinks?   This needs to be a functional lifestyle that you can sustain for life - it is NOT a diet!   If you eat good quality food for 5 small meals a day (one or two could be protein drinks) you will have no trouble turning down carbs and food that is not good for you - you simply will not physically be able to eat the extras!!!!

Good luck with recognising your behaviour quickly and I hope you manage to get back on track as soon as possible!

All good points. Although I have a question, what do you mean how small the window of opportunity is to lose the weight, are you talking about the initial 15-18 month post op period? I would totally heart finding a WLS bf so we could be each others champions and cheerleaders, too bad there isnt a dating site dedicated to dedicated WLS ppl lol.

What does MO stand for?

Big girl knickers are coming on. I did not lose weight purely on protein drinks, I would eat 1-2 drinks a day for breakfast/lunch while at work as I love the chocolate protein shakes and enjoyed my chocolately protein fix:)  I think I am going to stick to 3meals  and 2 snacks at planned intervals to get rid of the mindless eating also. Thank you for that reminder and encouragement.

 MO=Morbidly Obese