Body Perception

I've been thinking of seeing a counselor lately.

I know this topic comes up from time to time but I'm having issues with body perception in a huge way. I had my surgery on Aug 1, 2011.  I haven't been weighing in unless I go to doctors appointments in order to keep myself from going crazy.  I have an appointment on Wednesday so that should be my next weight in.

I have gone from a 28 in pants and tops (sometimes tight or unable to fit) to an 18 regular (ll bean/old navy/rei) in bottoms (snug but comfotable) to an XL in most ladies tops (snug sometimes but comfortable). Men's Xl shirts are now hanging big off of me.  I still look in the mirror and see this fat person looking back. I feel angry at myself that I let my life get to a place where I got so unhealthy. I feel myself picking my body apart, the fat that is stubbornly hanging under my chin, the jiggly stomach that is hanging around.  I feel like I have done all this hard work, and will continue to do this hard work because I am committed to change, and I will still be this fat person.

Is this just a stage that everyone goes through at some point during this journey? The physical is hard, but the mental, is worse I think. I'm not sure that's anything that they prepare you for pre-op.

Seeing a counselor is a wonderful idea! There are many that actually specialize in bariatric weight loss issues. Search online for a list in your area. I was blessed to find someone before I had the surgery as I have suffered from depression for a while. When I told her about my surgery she said that she works with bariatric patients and she started helping me before the surgery even happened. I did not or have not gone through the what have I done phase, I am happy and know that I made the right decision. She got me to start rewarding myself without food involved and for each milestone I add one or two charms to my pandora bracelet. Don't be afraid to reach out for help, it is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength and committment to yourself!

Teri-Lynn
POI

i went into this surgery with my mind made up, i was not ever going to look like a super model, and i am ok with that..i am 50 years, old, i have 2 kids, i have 3 grand kids...i have sagging skin, there is no way around that with out surgery, and not really interested in that right now, i am down 105 pounds since last year around this time, my surgery was april 4th, but i started loosing weight in decemeber of last year...i look pretty good in my clothes, just not nakey, and i am fine with that, i call them my battle scars...my hubby is fine with it too....i plan to try and tone up the best that i can, but i know in my mind i am never going to be bikini clad super model, which if you look in the fashion world, they have a false sense of what woman should look like...i am all real, and plan to stay that way...hold you head up, look at yourself in the mirror with clothes on and with out clothes on and tell yourself, that you are OK everyday...just keep telling yourself that every day, perhaps you will start to HEAR yourself tell yourself that...then maybe you will start to feel OK..
hollywood and the fashion gurus, only think you can be one size but most of them come by it with knives, and injections and what ever else they can think of to make themselves OK...by their standards....most of them can not even smile due to so many procedures done...they look like wooden dolls in my opinion...i want to be a fun loving natural granny...
put a smile on your face...YOUR OK
debby

Your head takes a LOT longer to recognize your current body than your eyes do.

I'm two years out. At my heaviest, my head had not caught up to my body and thought I was still a size 10/12. Now, my head hasn't caught up to my body and still thinks I'm a size 10/12 when I'm a 2/4.

Something that helped me was catching sight of myself out of the corner of my eye: walking past a reflective window, and seeing a smaller person, and then realizing it was me. Direct looking at myself in the mirror - yeah, I still see problems. But I understand that they're in my head, not my body.

Best of luck with your journey - and give your head some space! You've turned it's world upside down!