The nerve!

You won't believe what this lady told me yesterday!she walked right up to me and said are you the one whose having gastric bypass? I said yes. She said well don't do it! My sister in law had it done and died!and someone else I know is on dialysis because of it! I walked right past her and didn't say a thing. The nerve of her! You don't tell someone whose just about to have this surgery that!

I understand how you feel, but I also understand her feelings.  She just lost someone close to her, very suddenly.  When my mother drowned, I pulled her body out of the water myself and did CPR on her.  For a while after that, I told every friend and loved one to be careful at Good Harbor Beach and Long Beach, because the riptides are so dangerous.  I told them not to go in alone, don't go in above your waist (that's how deep I was in the water with my son at the time, but my mother was out a bit further) and I still haven't returned to that beach.  

Even though it's not often that someone drowns, I'm still hypervigilant, and nervous about swimming in the ocean again.
Just like it's not often that someone dies during surgery.  

Hope I didn't offend, it's just that I can see where she is coming from.  I'm having my surgery in 8 days, and have been told about so many people who've died after having it.  One that I personally knew.  It's still not stopping me, because the risks of remaining morbidly obese are higher as I get older, than the risk of the surgery.

You warned them of the riptides at that particular beach.  But you didn't go up to every person shopping for a swimsuit (did you?) and warn them that your mom drowned so they should not go in the water at all?

I'm sorry about your mom.  How terrible.  I'm sorry you had to go through that.  I can't imagine how awful that would be.

That is a horrible story and I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you had to do that.   

When people bring this up with doctors, they are often asked for the specific names of the deceased. Almost always, the person making the claim can't name an actual person. IF they did give you a name, chances are it isn't listed anywhere as being deceased.

If everyone who claimed to know someone who died from RNY actually did, the death rate would be so high that the surgery would not be performed at all!

Keep in mind that just because someone died AFTER they had RNY does not  mean that they died BECAUSE of the RNY.  Many people who have WLS already have significant health issues and sometimes either losing the weight does not erase the physical damage already done or they die from their health issue before they can even get the weight off.  In such cases (especially people with heart issues), it is likely that they would have died even if they had not had the surgery.

Lora

Both before and after surgery I went around to everyone telling people about the surgery, and smiling happy WLS patients are everywhere. I heard one story out of dozens where a patient died 1 week post surgery from emergency surgery because the patient and Dr where not proactive about symptoms sugesting complications and that same person told me she knew two others who are shinning examples of post surgery happines. This complication was Not at my Doc's hospital either BTW.

If you've checked out your Doc as much as he's checked out you, and remain stubornly proactive post surgery about anything feeling remotely out of the ordinary, you will come out smiling too.

Don't let people scare you, and in my case it felt worth it either way. It was/is my best chance at living 10 yrs +.

Just because there are a few incidents of death or extreme illness, it is a matter of risk/benefit that everyone needs to weigh in order to determine if it is right for them.

I know someone that almost died after lap-band but it didn't stop me.  I did my research and knew it was the right decision for me.

I am glad that you didn't succomb to the fear.

I have my surgery date 5 weeks away and I've also had a few people tell me the same thing, what gets to me even more are the ones that are close to me that reacted with horror in their eyes when I told them. What makes it even worse for me is that I am a total paranoid and worrier so this is my biggest fear with the whole WLS thing. It took me a very long time to decide on this surgery.

HOWEVER at this point, my health and weight are out of control and the logical side of my brain tells me how I've heard 10x more success stories than I have of negative ones and if I continue the weight that I am at now I have more to fear.

We made the decision to move forward with this surgery, chances are great that we will be just fine, NO great afterwards with a whole new rewarding life ahead of us. Keep positive and reading all the great things people post on these forums.

Sheila

Listen, the reality is that people DO die after bariatric surgery.  My Bariatric Center of Excellence spent a nice amount of time not trying to scare us, but telling us that death is a possiblity, we also had to sign that we were notified of this. It may not be a high percentage of people who die post-surgery, but there is a risk. Just like there are risks with other surgeries. 

About 5 years ago I was going to pursue surgery, and I told my friend on like a Friday, she paused for a while and then told me that her father passed away the previous Sunday while in the hospital after the  RNY surgery.  I know that she was telling the truth. She is also overweight and was considering the surgery, but after losing her father, she did not follow through and warned everyone not to do it.

I'm not trying to tell you how to react when people tell you scarey things, but all the time their intentions aren't to deter you from happiness. My mother, who loves me very much insisted that I not have the surgery, of course I didn't listen to her. I believed that death was better than the pain that I was experiencing pre-op, and the potential diabetes, hip complications, and back problems that were lurking in the sidelines.

Bottom line take what people say with a grain of salt, assume their best intentions, almost all of us have said things unknowingly that may have offended people even when we meant to be helpful. If you are a praying person, pray before surgery, be sure you have a good surgeon, and do what you need to do.