OT XP: Sex appeal...is it something you have or something you do?
I am a firm believer that a Woman's Boobies are like a man's money.
It doesn't matter where it comes from it is how much you have that counts!
It doesn't matter where it comes from it is how much you have that counts!
Paul C.
First 5K 9/27/20 46:32 - 11 weeks post op (PR 28:55 8/15/11)
First 10K 7/04/2011 1:03 First 15K 9/18/2011 1:37
First Half Marathon 10/02/2011 2:27:44 (PR 2:24:35)
First Half Ironman 9/30/12 7:32:04
First 5K 9/27/20 46:32 - 11 weeks post op (PR 28:55 8/15/11)
First 10K 7/04/2011 1:03 First 15K 9/18/2011 1:37
First Half Marathon 10/02/2011 2:27:44 (PR 2:24:35)
First Half Ironman 9/30/12 7:32:04
LMAO!!!! That is freakin' perfect!! I have to share that one with hubby--he couldn't agree more!!!!
Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.
RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!
*6.5 lost preop
I don't agree that you either have it or you don't.
I sorta had it when I was younger. Then I totally didn't just before surgery. I mean, c'mon...if you look at my before picture...not necessarily oozing with sexuality.
BUT here's what I think could be at play (and part of this comes from me knowing you, Denise, outside this forum). People inherently don't like themselves. We are programmed to think we should not. Everyone from our pastor to our teachers tell us not to think too much of ourselves and to look DOWN on people who do think a lot about themselves.
However...people inherently WANT to like themselves. This is why Jenny Craig and so many other diet, cosmetics companies exist. The "selling something to make you like yourself" is the basic foundation upon which ALL marketing is built. To sell something, you have to make that something make ME feel good about myself.
Having said all that, when we see people who truly like themselves we are attracted to those people. We want to hear what they have to say, watch what they do. Even if we hate them we sort of root for them. Because they have what we want and we hope that it rubs off.
When a person likes themselves (and btw likes themselves does not mean they find no fault with themselves, simply that they don't let their faults define them) it shows in most everything they do: the way they walk, the way they talk, the expressions on their faces. Hell, to a person who doesn't like themselves, a person who does probably even SMELLS better.
One thing I want to caution you against, Denise, is the notion that you "put out a vibe." You are who you are. Never apologize for that. If someone interprets who you are in a certain way, that is their interpretation. Let them own it. You have nothing to do with that. Nobody has the right to ask you to behave any certain way (outside the common laws of decency and...um...the law). So even if you DID put out a vibe, that's ok. If that man truly ONLY had eyes for his wife, he could look all he wanted but we all know who he was going home with, right? And if not, there are deeper problems with that man than what vibe YOU are putting out. So no more of that, k?
I sorta had it when I was younger. Then I totally didn't just before surgery. I mean, c'mon...if you look at my before picture...not necessarily oozing with sexuality.
BUT here's what I think could be at play (and part of this comes from me knowing you, Denise, outside this forum). People inherently don't like themselves. We are programmed to think we should not. Everyone from our pastor to our teachers tell us not to think too much of ourselves and to look DOWN on people who do think a lot about themselves.
However...people inherently WANT to like themselves. This is why Jenny Craig and so many other diet, cosmetics companies exist. The "selling something to make you like yourself" is the basic foundation upon which ALL marketing is built. To sell something, you have to make that something make ME feel good about myself.
Having said all that, when we see people who truly like themselves we are attracted to those people. We want to hear what they have to say, watch what they do. Even if we hate them we sort of root for them. Because they have what we want and we hope that it rubs off.
When a person likes themselves (and btw likes themselves does not mean they find no fault with themselves, simply that they don't let their faults define them) it shows in most everything they do: the way they walk, the way they talk, the expressions on their faces. Hell, to a person who doesn't like themselves, a person who does probably even SMELLS better.
One thing I want to caution you against, Denise, is the notion that you "put out a vibe." You are who you are. Never apologize for that. If someone interprets who you are in a certain way, that is their interpretation. Let them own it. You have nothing to do with that. Nobody has the right to ask you to behave any certain way (outside the common laws of decency and...um...the law). So even if you DID put out a vibe, that's ok. If that man truly ONLY had eyes for his wife, he could look all he wanted but we all know who he was going home with, right? And if not, there are deeper problems with that man than what vibe YOU are putting out. So no more of that, k?
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
The friend that said I oozed also used the term sexual chocolate. Never heard that one before! Hope it was a compliment! LOL! I agree that what people think is their deal, but sadly I still worry what people think of me. Unfortunately, I spent a lot of years hoping, wishing, praying that what people thought of me would be good and I'd go to great lengths to make sure that happened, despite the fact that I knew logically there was not a damn thing I could do to make someone like me or think good of me. I am finally coming to a place where I know I have a good heart and a good soul and I am genuinely a decent human being. If someone chooses to dislike me because I'm pretty or sexy or oozing (if it's green I'm seeing a doctor!), then I really can't do a damn thing about it. And when I say putting out a vibe, I don't mean intentionally--I mean the inherent nature of who I am and how I behave. Now that I'm feeling a little more secure in my skin, I'd hope that the "vibe" I'm putting out was one of confidence vs. a "ravage me right here you sexy beast" vibe, but if that is they way someone sees me then they don't know me very well and are missing an opportunity to know a pretty cool chick if they judge me by it without getting to knw me first!
Wish all this life altering change wouldn't be filled with so much mental work. Ugh...
Wish all this life altering change wouldn't be filled with so much mental work. Ugh...
Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.
RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!
*6.5 lost preop
Sexual Chocolate is a term from the movie "Coming to America" starring Eddie Murphy/Arsenio Hall. Um....the term has morphed but in the movie sexual chocolate was definitely NOT hot. BUt I'm pretty sure your friend wasn't referring to the exact reference!
LOL
LOL
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
I think you are born with it....depending on what society at that time views as sexy. If you are that type then you kind of hit the jackpot:)
Now sex appeal and likeability are two very different things. A "10" on the sexy scale is nothing compared to a "6" with a friendly personality
Now sex appeal and likeability are two very different things. A "10" on the sexy scale is nothing compared to a "6" with a friendly personality
Don't ask me how we lost to Baylor. I can't figure it Out either! 
motherofe
on 2/8/12 5:52 am
on 2/8/12 5:52 am
Sexuality is Confidence in my opinion. Smaller women and Larger women can both be identified as being very sexy. It's like the words in the Maya Angelou (sp) poem about being a phenomenal women.
It's in the eyes and the way you walk. Its in the way you talk, the way you carry yourself and the way you present yourself.
I have always been seen as very sexy by the opposite sex; It didn't matter if it was during the times that I was small or large. It would anger one of my cousins because she had these huge tata's (thanks Paul) and she was very thin but I always got the attention. I wasn't model worthy but I was sexy as H*ll and I knew it.
It's in the eyes and the way you walk. Its in the way you talk, the way you carry yourself and the way you present yourself.
I have always been seen as very sexy by the opposite sex; It didn't matter if it was during the times that I was small or large. It would anger one of my cousins because she had these huge tata's (thanks Paul) and she was very thin but I always got the attention. I wasn't model worthy but I was sexy as H*ll and I knew it.
I can do this! 
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