How to tell your family...

 I'm in the early stages of WLS, and I haven't told my whole family that I'm having surgery. I've told my foster parents (and husband), but only because I need their help in watching my daughter so I can do all of this pre-op testing and appointments. How did you tell the rest of your family about your decision? I've been thinking of doing a letter to immediate family, and telling extended family as I talk to them.  I'm not super-close to many of them, so I don't see the point in wasting time and energy on emotional vampires. 

How did it go in your situation? Anything you would have done differently? 

Thanks for the input!!

 I only told my immediate family and a hand full of friends at work.. I'm not embarrassed about needing and doing this for my health, just don't want to hear the arguments on why I shouldn't do it.  My son gets married in 3 weeks and most of my family will notice something different about me right away.  I'm only 4 days out but doing very well.

Best of luck
Jeanne

i only told 10 people my husband , my daughters, my grandmother and my aunt and uncle, and a great friend, my brother and his wife and a so called friend.  the rest dont need to know.  Some people are judgemental about it and they dont know or dont understand the situation so i feel it is better that they dont know right now. My so called friend made a comment that was not very supportive and made me feel like crap and basicly doesnt speak to me much anymore.  the comment that was made was .. "oh i guess i will be the only fat one now..thanks".  But you know when he was losing weight on his own and i was gaining .... i was still so happy for him.  but now that the shoe is on the other foot..its different.
I guess what im trying to say is...you really dont know what people are going to say or how they are going to feel..so you have to pick and choose who you want to tell

Good Luck to You


Julie

I just said, "I'm going to be having gastric bypass surgery."  I think I told my mom in an email.  My surgeon was three hours away from my home and near where my mother lives so I stayed at her house a few times when I had to be there for pre op appointments and stuff.  So I emailed her and said something like "I"m going to be having gastric bypass surgery in a couple weeks and I have an appointment with my surgeon Thursday.  Can I stay at your house overnight?"  I didn't make a big deal about it.  I told them about the same way I told them I was having my gall bladder removed a few months later.

 Thanks for everyone's input! I'm going to tell my mother-in-law (only because I'll need her help with my daughter), my bio mother and all of my siblings. I'm planning to see one of my aunts a couple of months after surgery, so she'll notice when she picks me up at the airport! LOL As for the rest of my "family", they'll find out on their own. 

Honestly I havent told really anyone. I had surgery on monday, was out of the hospital on tuesday and I was watching my kids by myself on wednesday(they are 3 and 4). The weight is coming off, and im not sure they will question it. I am very close with my mother, but I didnt tell her(and I see her almost every day). She gets too worked up about those things. Maybe evantually I will tell her, but for now she hasnt noticed. We went to lunch yesterday for my birthday, and I just had french onion soup and told her I didnt want a cake.

My mom was the one who encouraged me to have it as she has 2 sisters that had RNY. Once I made the decision to go with it my immediate family new, mom, dad, brothers and I talked to my moms sisters so her family knew all about it. After that I let my dad's family find out through the family grape vine. Everyone has been supportive except for my best friend or I guess I should say former best friend who has been fading out of my life in the year and a half since I made the decision. I wouldnt do anything different...I feel sad that my friendship changed but I sure as heck wasnt going to stay fat so she could stay happy.

You used the words "emotional vampires" to describe them.  That ALONE would have me suggest that you NOT tell them...or at the very least wait until after you have had surgery and are in a good place to deal with them.

Good Luck

 Thanks again for the input! Yes, I say emotional vampires because they live for drama, and that just exhausts me. I can't be around all that bad energy for a long time. That's probably why I don't really deal with them more than I have to. LOL 

I didn't tell anyone when I had my gall bladder out last July, so I'm probably not going to tell anyone unless I have to. Forget a letter! Haha!