Conflicting info....advice please

I had my surgery on 1/13 and am down from 373 to 334lbs. At 4 1/2 wks out I joined a gym and got a personal training to tone up properly. My dr had told me after being in the hospital for low potassium which was before the gym that I was eating too much as I gained weight. I know it was water weight as that dropped off with in 1 1/2wks of being out of the hospital. my weight loss has kind of went to a stand still now but I know with working out that im losing inches and not pounds because of muclse mass.
bottom line my dr said not to eat if I am not hungry. I DO NOT get hunger pains and can go all day without eating. my trainer wants me to eat 4 small meals a day especially since working out. He would like me to get more calories a day since I on average get 350-800 a day deoending on the day and my pouch.

So to all you seasoned vets.....what would you do????

 Congrats on your success!  (first of all).  

I'm not a vet, but I think I know what I would do with this conflict of information.  I would follow my surgeon's recommendations.

In particular, I would talk to my surgeon's office (nut), and see if there was anything about my new workout routine that warranted a change of diet plan.

This early out you should be following your doctor and nutritionist's nutritional guidelines. I didn't involve my trainer in my diet until recently because he had no experience working with a WLS person until me. Just because you're not getting hunger pangs doesn't mean you shouldn't be eating.

I agree with your trainer.  I also had no appetite at all for several months, but we all need to eat regularly to provide fuel for our bodies.  Early on, I ate on a schedule because I wasn't really hungry:  3 small meals and 2 small snacks per day.   I also kept an eye on my calories, protein grams, and water, in addition to being sure I got all my vitamins in.  Comparing to my experience, I don't think your calories are all that low for being only 6 weeks out from surgery.  I was normally consuming less than 1000 calories a day at that point.  You'll be able to increase that as you get further out.  Just be sure to eat good, nutritious calories and focus on getting enough protein.

EAT
You CANNOT lose weight if you put your body into starvation mode.
If you are working out at a gym you need more calories than 800 in a day. Also, if you are only getting 350-800 calories in a day, I can almost guarantee you aren't getting your 80+ grams of protein in.
You need to eat, whether you feel like it or not.

They told me to concentrate on 40g of protein right now. and I eat high protein foods and have only had a few days where I didnt get my 40 g a day. A lot of the time I get more than 40g a day. I was told to start working up to 60g-80g now. But as long as I get 40g Im good. my protein is fine. I understand you guys saying I should following my Dr but eating only once a day seems...hmm good word for it.....umm... STUPID! How is eating once a day healthy? I can get a high protein meal for less than a 100 cal. How is eating 100cal a day healthy????
I didnt have this surgery to starve myself I had it to be healthy!

It IS a catch 22 when you aren't hungry and I understand to a degree your surgeon saying don't eat unless you are hungry BUT (yes there is a but) some of us didn't/don't get hungry and WE have to eat to survive and remain nourished.

You cannot not eat, my suggestion is a minimum amount of protein (they are saying 40 which is low but as a newbie I get that) and focus on that and some good healthy carbs.  You can't go 100% carb free, for long anyway.  You will lose all of your energy and your mind will get cloudy I've been there.

I can't tell you how much to eat, sorry this is individualized on how much your pouch will allow you to eat.  My opinion if you focus 90% of your meals (3-4 your call) and 10% good, healthy carbs then you will lose weight.

don't eat if you are not hungry - may only end in a trouble zone if  you are not hungry all the time.
Even almost 4 years post op, if I follow low carb diet - I do not get really  hungry, and after 2-3 bites of food - the hunger goes away.  So I do eat on a clock.
Also - if you are not hungry - you can concentrate on good foods and the proper qty.  Measure, eat. And learn to identify if the pouch gets too full.

5-6 meals a day... is IMO best idea.  You would keep your blood sugar more stable. When I get hungry - I have a tendency to eat more than I should.  So eating on schedule allows me to really eat it slow and only as much as I need, and not more than that.

 Ask your trainer how much they understand about the RNY and WLS surgery in general.  I have had trainers try to get me on supplements that have sugar levels that would put me in a coma and completely didn't understand why.

You need to consult with a NUT and have materials to present such as food & exercise logs.

I would follow your trainer's adivce because it makes more sense.  If you don't get hungry all day, how would you get enough protein if you didn't eat until you got hungry?  Your body won't function properly if you don't get protein.  You need some calories, some protein, some carbs, all that stuff in order for your body to function.  I mean, basic functions, like for your heart to beat.  And I personally would prefer my heart to keep on beating.