I told a lie and don't know how to fix it....

 I agree, It sounds like there is other issues at the bottom of this one lie. My husband and I don't always see eye to eye, and I used to tell him white lies because he would freak out! But at some point I realized that the lie just made things worse. And I should not have to lie about things to make him stay calm. We finally adressed it and things are SO much better! I wish you the best of luck. But I think you should first, think about why you had to lie in the first place. Perhaps there is something deeper. I think a long good heart to heart is definatly nessisary! 

Tell him and get it over with.  What's the worst that could happen?  Be apologetic and sincere, and once it's over with, you won't have that cloud of guilt hanging over your head anymore.

I'm, lucky enough that my abusive boyfriend left me before I started the process for RNY. I didn't have anyone to impress or argue with me if I decided to do something about my weight. I was all alone during the preop testing and the surgery itself. My oldest son showed up at home just as I was being released. He was proud of me but said he'd wish i'd just have done the whole diet thing again. Not much emotional support.

So I did this with little to no support. I'm glad I had OH. I think I would have died without the advise and support that I ever had in real life.

If I can go thru all this, you can too!!!!

Is it completely inappropriate of me to be impressed that you managed to go through all the motions AND surgery without him finding out? You should work for the CIA.

Having said that, if he is ammenable to surgery in general now (or at least accepting) I'd think his main source of anger or grievance would be that you lied to him. And frankly he has a right to that. He was up front and honest with you about how he feels (even if you didn't like how he feels) and you were not up front and honest with him.

If you love him, tell him. He will be hurt in the end that you did not entrust him with this information and every day you keept he secret, in his head, is a day that you were not honest with him.

He'll get angry and you'll have to deal with his anger but you can get through that.

"Is it completely inappropriate of me to be impressed that you managed to go through all the motions AND surgery without him finding out? You should work for the CIA."

haha.... so true, Nik!!

Laura

Really, he knows the difference between the RNY and the lapband?  Most people just think a person has WLS, not really the specifics.  I had surgery in 2002 and I had a revision in 2010.  To this day my boyfriend doesn't know what I had or what I revised to.  He just knows I had WLS, a generic term to describe surgery to loss weight.
I'm impressed if he does know there is a difference.  I would just talk to him and tell him that you are sorry that you gave him the impression that you had a lapband and you actually had a RNY and explain the difference.  If he is as against surgery as you say then he would probably respond when you tell him that most people with a lapband need to have at least on more surgery because of it, many have to have more then one surgery.  The manufacturer say that the lapband isn't permanent and you will need additional surgery down the road to remove it.

 Depending on how much you value this individual, I woukld handle it on 2 different ways. If he was annoying as shynola, I'd say nothing until i met my goal. If this is someone that you plan on spending the rest of your life with, tell him that you had to make the decision that was right for your life, and only one of us would be going under the knife, and I chose RNY as per recommendation of my doctor , and my own feelings it was the right decision for me. End of discussion.  Pass the peanuts. 

 Oh  yeah, and I apologize for the other lies that I told you that may have lead you on, I was wrong for misreprsenting things, but in the end, it's my life and my health. 

Oh wow,

When I go to the Urgent Care or ER, they pull up  my records on computer, they have this alert that I am a bariatic patient.  

Wonder if you have this as well? 

 A guy here, so take this with a grain of salt.

First, I think YOU will feel much better if you just tell him.  You might just tell him, 'Oh yeh, my WLS was the Roux en-Y type, in case anyone needs to know' and leave it at that.

Second, ...and I'm kind of surpised none of the ladies have commented on this.  He's not your parent.  You have the right to do what you feel best for yourself.  The way I read it was that you had to go 'against his will' to have it done in the first place.  I applaud your courage in doing that.   Use it again to set the record straight.  You don't need to go crawling to him because you 'fibbed'.  He's as responsible as you for the lie, for making you feel that you had to.  

I often disagree with my wife but if I told her she HAD to do something, she'd tell me to shove it....and she likely wouldn't use such nice words.  We're coming up on 29 yrs married this month and I think one of the keys is that we respect each other.