Anyone's sex life NOT improve after surgery?
Before my revision my libido was nonexistent, too. It started a few years after my first WLS and I attributed it to many things, my general health, antidepressants and menopause. Between all that I couldn't care less if I ever had sex again. My boyfriend was very patient and I gave it the old college try for his sake but my heart wasn't in it. The year before my revision I offered to let him break up with me because I was so sick I couldn't go anywhere or do anything and there was no way I could have had sex. I told him I would understand if he wanted to be free to find someone else but he didn't want to break up. He told me that he cared more about me then sex. I would still give it my best every few weeks or month or so but I am sure he knew I was calling it in.
After my surgery things didn't change much except that I was starting to feel better and could manage a little more often, every few weeks or so but honestly I could have lived without it. It didn't help when my boyfriend told me that I lost too much weight and I needed to gain about 10 lbs. I was about 125 lbs when he said that. I went on to lose another 25 lbs. When he met me I had just given birth to my daughter and weighed about 220 lbs. I did the yo yo thing but at the end I weighed 240 lbs when I had my first WLS. That was as much as he weighed. He never said a thing and never acted like it bothered him. I knew he preferred bigger women and I worried that he wasn't sexually attracted to me but truthfully I didn't really care since I wasn't into it, either.
Well, for some reason, about 2 months ago, things changed. Big time. My drive came back in full force. I was able to have a happy ending again. Many times. It had been years since that happened. What's funny is that while my drive is back and I enjoy sex again I still don't feel like I have to have it too often. Now it's about once a week and that is fine. We only see each other weekly since he only has one day off so it's been that way for a while. I recently asked him if he was not attracted to me because of my weight and he assured me he still was and I guess he is since there hasn't been any performance issues, which isn't bad for a guy that is almost 60.
So things can get better. For me it was over 1 1/2 years after my surgery before I got my grove back. I don't know why but I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Maybe I am done with menopause? I'm not sure but whatever it is, I'll take it.
After my surgery things didn't change much except that I was starting to feel better and could manage a little more often, every few weeks or so but honestly I could have lived without it. It didn't help when my boyfriend told me that I lost too much weight and I needed to gain about 10 lbs. I was about 125 lbs when he said that. I went on to lose another 25 lbs. When he met me I had just given birth to my daughter and weighed about 220 lbs. I did the yo yo thing but at the end I weighed 240 lbs when I had my first WLS. That was as much as he weighed. He never said a thing and never acted like it bothered him. I knew he preferred bigger women and I worried that he wasn't sexually attracted to me but truthfully I didn't really care since I wasn't into it, either.
Well, for some reason, about 2 months ago, things changed. Big time. My drive came back in full force. I was able to have a happy ending again. Many times. It had been years since that happened. What's funny is that while my drive is back and I enjoy sex again I still don't feel like I have to have it too often. Now it's about once a week and that is fine. We only see each other weekly since he only has one day off so it's been that way for a while. I recently asked him if he was not attracted to me because of my weight and he assured me he still was and I guess he is since there hasn't been any performance issues, which isn't bad for a guy that is almost 60.
So things can get better. For me it was over 1 1/2 years after my surgery before I got my grove back. I don't know why but I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Maybe I am done with menopause? I'm not sure but whatever it is, I'll take it.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.
My libido took a nosedive (hubby's was just fine)
Then I started on Amitryptaline for my neuralgia, and one of the side effects was "suppressed libido".... but I've never been one to follow the rules and my libido skyrocketed after that.
Now things are pretty darn awesome.
Then I started on Amitryptaline for my neuralgia, and one of the side effects was "suppressed libido".... but I've never been one to follow the rules and my libido skyrocketed after that.
Now things are pretty darn awesome.
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
I had hoped that weight loss and exercise would increase my sex drive. My partner is as enthusiastic as he was before but my desire is nil. I'm wondering if I should seriously consider switching anti-depressants.
HW 262, BMI 46.2 / SW 216, BMI 38.2 / CW 183 / GW 155
*45 lbs were lost pre-op. 5' 3 1/2"
I'm not gettin' any, either. 
Come ON, December, move your slow ass!
Come ON, December, move your slow ass!
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Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
No ma'am, Army wife. He's been gone 18 months, and we have about 6-8 more to go. Bleh.
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Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
lillypond...
on 4/24/12 10:49 am
on 4/24/12 10:49 am
wow, I am almost 2 years and I have no sex drive what so ever, Thank goodness my hubby is understanding, before wls I was always ready lol now my heart is just not into it anymore, I can take it or leave it ( I rather leave it). I have lost 185 pounds and I am not flabby but my breast are flat as pancakes and I know this bothers me a lot, my husband is a breast man, but he said it does not bother him at all, but it does me. maybe after I have them lifted I will feel better
Are you familiar with passive-aggressive behavior? I'm married to one. For 30 years, and 24 of those years have been 100% loveless (no sex, no intimacy, no naked bodies, nothing). Very sad. But then it makes one question, what's wrong with the person who stays in a loveless relationship that long. I could write a book. Of two things I'm certain, it's lonely and I'm not alone. Not to mention, I've never lost my own sex drive 
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