I want to be good enough - TMI probably
thanks!
My trainer used to keep asking me to go to her group classes "They're free, Lori!" ... but after a few weeks of working with me she stopped LOL .... I was probably the only child whose pediatrician recommended my parents buy me an Atari (yes, I'm that old) for eye / hand coordination lol
Having a better day... thank you for the encouragement
My trainer used to keep asking me to go to her group classes "They're free, Lori!" ... but after a few weeks of working with me she stopped LOL .... I was probably the only child whose pediatrician recommended my parents buy me an Atari (yes, I'm that old) for eye / hand coordination lol
Having a better day... thank you for the encouragement
I understand those feelings and deal with those issues myself. It takes a long, long time to change that thinking about not being good enough. I mean, how many years did you practice that kind of thinking? It's not going to change overnight. I think all we can do is work on it. Therapy is a great step. Talking about it here is a great step. Just keep taking it one step at a time.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
Well, I agree that it's not fair.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
Hi LJ,
I was not sure whether you were asking a question or not either, but when I read your post I simply felt the need to share my thoughts with you. Those thoughts may be so far off base that they are not even close to reality, but they are still my thoughts.
Like you, I came from a pretty traumatic background. Both parents were alcoholics, and at the age of 8 my father began molesting me. Both parents were also extremely physical, as well as emotionally and psychologically abusive. There never should have been kids anywhere near either one of them...
Anyhow, as a result of my background, I have spent many, many years in counseling and consider myself to be somewhat fairly emotionally and psychologically sound as a result of the time spent in therapy.
However...
As sound as I feel I am, there is still a piece of me that I think will forever and always believe at some level or another that I'm simply not good enough.
I have come to believe that the pain from the type of trauma we experienced during our early development worked its way into the very essence of our being, or soul, and will never, no matter how hard we try, be totally eradicated.
The point I'm trying to make it that I totally understand what you are saying and why; however, I will now add that we each have a choice how we will live our lives. We can fore go trying, believing what the recesses of our minds tell us with regard to not being good enough, or we can muster up the courage and march on in spite of the fact that we will never quiet actually believe that we are good enough.
For me, the choice is usually to push through the doubts and do whatever it is that I want to take on. I will not be held back by the fear my parents planted in a little girl's head, so even though I may never totally 100% feel, or believe, that I would ever actually be good enough, I will almost always face a challenge and find the simple pride to be had in the fact that while I may not be good enough, I do generally always give my best.
Good luck with that race. Go for it, do the very best you absolutely can, and just take it on faith that you have in you everything you need to succeed even though you may not quite believe wholly that you are actually good enough...
I was not sure whether you were asking a question or not either, but when I read your post I simply felt the need to share my thoughts with you. Those thoughts may be so far off base that they are not even close to reality, but they are still my thoughts.
Like you, I came from a pretty traumatic background. Both parents were alcoholics, and at the age of 8 my father began molesting me. Both parents were also extremely physical, as well as emotionally and psychologically abusive. There never should have been kids anywhere near either one of them...
Anyhow, as a result of my background, I have spent many, many years in counseling and consider myself to be somewhat fairly emotionally and psychologically sound as a result of the time spent in therapy.
However...
As sound as I feel I am, there is still a piece of me that I think will forever and always believe at some level or another that I'm simply not good enough.
I have come to believe that the pain from the type of trauma we experienced during our early development worked its way into the very essence of our being, or soul, and will never, no matter how hard we try, be totally eradicated.
The point I'm trying to make it that I totally understand what you are saying and why; however, I will now add that we each have a choice how we will live our lives. We can fore go trying, believing what the recesses of our minds tell us with regard to not being good enough, or we can muster up the courage and march on in spite of the fact that we will never quiet actually believe that we are good enough.
For me, the choice is usually to push through the doubts and do whatever it is that I want to take on. I will not be held back by the fear my parents planted in a little girl's head, so even though I may never totally 100% feel, or believe, that I would ever actually be good enough, I will almost always face a challenge and find the simple pride to be had in the fact that while I may not be good enough, I do generally always give my best.
Good luck with that race. Go for it, do the very best you absolutely can, and just take it on faith that you have in you everything you need to succeed even though you may not quite believe wholly that you are actually good enough...
wow.... thank you.
My counselor has said somewhat the same thing in regards to this being an issue I will most likely always have to work through. He said it hopefully won't be as difficult, but because I have a "people pleaser" personality, and because I've rarely experienced someone believing in me - I will always doubt being able to "deserve" praise, etc. He uses my trainer as an example of someone who doesn't know me outside of the realm of hard work, and she believes in me. I told him I always worry she is going to get sick of dealing with me. LOL (My poor counselor can't win with me)
thank you again
My counselor has said somewhat the same thing in regards to this being an issue I will most likely always have to work through. He said it hopefully won't be as difficult, but because I have a "people pleaser" personality, and because I've rarely experienced someone believing in me - I will always doubt being able to "deserve" praise, etc. He uses my trainer as an example of someone who doesn't know me outside of the realm of hard work, and she believes in me. I told him I always worry she is going to get sick of dealing with me. LOL (My poor counselor can't win with me)
thank you again
I received an email reply to a message I sent to the training group. I sent a few quick questions - he responded with paragraphs. In a way it makes me feel a little better, in another way it sets off my paranoia (officially diagnosed, "high normal") - does this guy now think I am some sort of athlete? training with an Olympic swimmer? Are you joking me?!?!?
I'm looking forward to meeting you on the 10th at the first Mere Mortals session! First of all, just the fact that you're working out with a personal trainer on a regular basis tells me that you have no reason to feel intimidated. The cardio work you're doing with her will be a big help on your weekend workouts with the Mortals.
Over time, we will slowly build up to our final workout, which will be a practice session on the same course as the SRI Tri. That includes a 600 yard swim, 18 mile bike, and a 3.1 mile run. As you read those, which sounds the most challenging?
For most, it's the swim, but that depends on your background. Talk with your trainer about each event, and be honest with her about how prepared you feel for each one. She may have suggestions for how to alter your workouts to help you in the areas you need it most. I'll be happy to offer advice as well.
One of the biggest benefits of Mere Mortals is that you'll also get a lot of advice and feedback from your fellow Mortals. The group is made up of people with widely varied backgrounds, from the many who are preparing for thier first sprint race, to people who've completed multiple Iron-distance races. There are also USAT certified race directors and triathlon coaches in our group. I even expect last year's state time trial cyclist champion and a former Olympic medalist swimmer to attend some of our sessions. All of these experienced people come to Mere Mortals because they are inspired by the energy that new triathletes like you bring to the sport.
So don't be intimidated! Come out and meet some great people and have fun with your training!
I'm looking forward to meeting you on the 10th at the first Mere Mortals session! First of all, just the fact that you're working out with a personal trainer on a regular basis tells me that you have no reason to feel intimidated. The cardio work you're doing with her will be a big help on your weekend workouts with the Mortals.
Over time, we will slowly build up to our final workout, which will be a practice session on the same course as the SRI Tri. That includes a 600 yard swim, 18 mile bike, and a 3.1 mile run. As you read those, which sounds the most challenging?
For most, it's the swim, but that depends on your background. Talk with your trainer about each event, and be honest with her about how prepared you feel for each one. She may have suggestions for how to alter your workouts to help you in the areas you need it most. I'll be happy to offer advice as well.
One of the biggest benefits of Mere Mortals is that you'll also get a lot of advice and feedback from your fellow Mortals. The group is made up of people with widely varied backgrounds, from the many who are preparing for thier first sprint race, to people who've completed multiple Iron-distance races. There are also USAT certified race directors and triathlon coaches in our group. I even expect last year's state time trial cyclist champion and a former Olympic medalist swimmer to attend some of our sessions. All of these experienced people come to Mere Mortals because they are inspired by the energy that new triathletes like you bring to the sport.
So don't be intimidated! Come out and meet some great people and have fun with your training!
COURAGE TO START, STRENGTH TO ENDURE, RESOLVE TO FINISH
HW 353 SW 317 Original GW 180 Current Wt 170
First 5k 59:18; 5k PR 32:06; 1st 10k 1:20:27; PR 1:08:36
1st Half Marathon 2:48
Pensacola Double Bridge Run 15k- 1:47:34
Three Sprint Triathlons
Sometimes it seems that the more we seek acceptance from others, the more we are inevitably going to be rejected. I think life's reason for doing this to us is that it is meant for "us"
to love ourselves and to accept ourselves. Nobody else has an obligation to do so. I do believe that we can't truly love others unless we respect and love ourselves.
One way of building up that self-esteem is by "service" to others. I believe that we all have our insecurities - everyone regardless of situations, however some of us who didnt get the love that we needed in childhood have "missed" a developmental window in life, and it becomes very challenging to make up for that....but it is indeed possible! It's all about changing the way that we think.
My insecurities comes out so much when dealing with men. I just never think I'm good enough and to this day...don't really know how to change my thoughts around that. In other areas I think I'm "ok".
to love ourselves and to accept ourselves. Nobody else has an obligation to do so. I do believe that we can't truly love others unless we respect and love ourselves.
One way of building up that self-esteem is by "service" to others. I believe that we all have our insecurities - everyone regardless of situations, however some of us who didnt get the love that we needed in childhood have "missed" a developmental window in life, and it becomes very challenging to make up for that....but it is indeed possible! It's all about changing the way that we think.
My insecurities comes out so much when dealing with men. I just never think I'm good enough and to this day...don't really know how to change my thoughts around that. In other areas I think I'm "ok".
Thanks...
My counselor said something like that today ... the more people you let close the odds go up that there will be "bad apples" in the bunch. He also said the closer you let people to your "vulnerable" places, the more likely someone is going to "bump" into them. So we talked about some appropriate responses.
My counselor said something like that today ... the more people you let close the odds go up that there will be "bad apples" in the bunch. He also said the closer you let people to your "vulnerable" places, the more likely someone is going to "bump" into them. So we talked about some appropriate responses.
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