so frustrated with my back
Today I went to the grocery store just to pick up a few things. I wanted to get some Greek yogurt and the 32 oz containers are on the bottom shelf while the 16 oz containers are in the middle. It's cheaper per ounce if you buy the 32 oz container instead of buying two 16 oz containers. I started to bend over to pick up a 32 oz container and felt this very sharp pain in my back. So I got back into a straight standing position and thought about trying to bend over again to get it, and finally decided not to try.
I've had times my back has been so bad I've literally been stuck somewhere, unable to move. Once I drove myself home from the Y and when I got home, could not get out of my car. Absolutely could not move. I ended up having to call my partner at work and he had to leave work to come home and help me. Only he cannot take calls at his current job so I would be stuck there until he gets off work, if I couldn't get out of the car or whatever by myself. There's no one else I know that lives near me that I could call for help. Unless I wanted to call 911. Which I don't. But I get scared about the thought of something like that happening and having no one to help me.
So I bought the smaller, more expensive containers of yogurt. And then I passed the protein bar aisle and decided to pick up a couple Luna bars. They sell them individually or in boxes of 6 and it is 35 cents cheaper to buy six individual bars than to buy a box of 6. But the individual bars were on the very bottom shelf, while the boxes of 6 were on the top shelf. I sort of tried to bend over to get to the individual bars but I didn't try very hard. It hurt and I was afraid to do it. I ended up deciding just to skip the Luna bars because I didn't want to buy the box. I know it's only 35 cents but I was upset at that point that I couldn't just buy what I wanted to buy because I couldn't bend over.
And yes, I know I could have gone to find a store employee and asked them for help. Besides that being annoying because you can't always find an employee when you need one, I don't like asking for help. I know that's an issue I need to deal with, and I am in therapy and maybe some day I'll get to that but there always seems to be more pressing issues right now. But I didn't want to find someone to ask for help.
My partner happened to call me on his break from work while I was still in that store and I told him why I was upset, and I just don't think he gets it. He's like, "Well, we can afford 35 cents, and you'll eat them all eventually, just buy the box." I don't know how to explain to him how bad I feel when I can't do things for myself.
I had another errand to run after the grocery store but I just came home instead because I was upset and my back hurt. I wanted to get home and take some Vicodin. I am just so frustrated. I know it's not my fault I have this problem with my back but I feel terrible about not being able to do things I think I should be able to do.
And no one seems to understand. I don't think my therapist even gets it. When I saw her last week, I tried to tell her how I feel, and she was like, "Well, if someone asked you for help with something like that, you'd be willing to help them, wouldn't you?" And yes, of course I would, but that doesn't make me feel any better.
I've had times my back has been so bad I've literally been stuck somewhere, unable to move. Once I drove myself home from the Y and when I got home, could not get out of my car. Absolutely could not move. I ended up having to call my partner at work and he had to leave work to come home and help me. Only he cannot take calls at his current job so I would be stuck there until he gets off work, if I couldn't get out of the car or whatever by myself. There's no one else I know that lives near me that I could call for help. Unless I wanted to call 911. Which I don't. But I get scared about the thought of something like that happening and having no one to help me.
So I bought the smaller, more expensive containers of yogurt. And then I passed the protein bar aisle and decided to pick up a couple Luna bars. They sell them individually or in boxes of 6 and it is 35 cents cheaper to buy six individual bars than to buy a box of 6. But the individual bars were on the very bottom shelf, while the boxes of 6 were on the top shelf. I sort of tried to bend over to get to the individual bars but I didn't try very hard. It hurt and I was afraid to do it. I ended up deciding just to skip the Luna bars because I didn't want to buy the box. I know it's only 35 cents but I was upset at that point that I couldn't just buy what I wanted to buy because I couldn't bend over.
And yes, I know I could have gone to find a store employee and asked them for help. Besides that being annoying because you can't always find an employee when you need one, I don't like asking for help. I know that's an issue I need to deal with, and I am in therapy and maybe some day I'll get to that but there always seems to be more pressing issues right now. But I didn't want to find someone to ask for help.
My partner happened to call me on his break from work while I was still in that store and I told him why I was upset, and I just don't think he gets it. He's like, "Well, we can afford 35 cents, and you'll eat them all eventually, just buy the box." I don't know how to explain to him how bad I feel when I can't do things for myself.
I had another errand to run after the grocery store but I just came home instead because I was upset and my back hurt. I wanted to get home and take some Vicodin. I am just so frustrated. I know it's not my fault I have this problem with my back but I feel terrible about not being able to do things I think I should be able to do.
And no one seems to understand. I don't think my therapist even gets it. When I saw her last week, I tried to tell her how I feel, and she was like, "Well, if someone asked you for help with something like that, you'd be willing to help them, wouldn't you?" And yes, of course I would, but that doesn't make me feel any better.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
Hi Kelly! I feel your pain.....I'm in the same boat with my back. I actually think my back is much worse since my surgery 2 months ago and 45 lbs lighter. How is that possible?? Maybe my weight is shifting? I thought I read that in a post somewhere. It's very frustrating,and I keep telling myself things will turn around . I'm sorry you had such a hard time at the supermarket! Hope your back gets better with therapy soon:)
Kathy
Kathy
Hi Kelly,
It really just sucks doesn't it. You just want to bend down and get something...a task most of us take for granted, and you couldn't. It's not that you can't ask for help but I imagine it must feel lousy to have to ask. My guess is that it must sometimes just feel like too much.
Im sorry you are faced with this. I'm sorry your partner doesn't get your frustration. I hope there are better "back days" in the future.
Andrea
It really just sucks doesn't it. You just want to bend down and get something...a task most of us take for granted, and you couldn't. It's not that you can't ask for help but I imagine it must feel lousy to have to ask. My guess is that it must sometimes just feel like too much.
Im sorry you are faced with this. I'm sorry your partner doesn't get your frustration. I hope there are better "back days" in the future.
Andrea
RNY February 2012
starting BMI 40
Yes, exactly. I want to be able to pick up a something small like a 32 oz container of yogurt on the bottom shelf, like a normal person. I don't want to have to constantly ask people to do things for me, especially when it's such a little thing.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
My back was bad before the surgery and is now worse. No one seems to understand why, and most don't believe me.
I am sure that you are more upset because you can't do the things you want to do. Back pain itself if depressing enough but then to start losing some of the freedoms you have been able to enjoy is so much worse.
I also can't get things off the bottom of the shelves but i'm lucky enough to shop with my adult son. He's the one who found me when I was passing out for no reason.
I hope they figure out some type of treatment for your back. Something to at least ease it some, would be great.
Good luck!!!
I am sure that you are more upset because you can't do the things you want to do. Back pain itself if depressing enough but then to start losing some of the freedoms you have been able to enjoy is so much worse.
I also can't get things off the bottom of the shelves but i'm lucky enough to shop with my adult son. He's the one who found me when I was passing out for no reason.
I hope they figure out some type of treatment for your back. Something to at least ease it some, would be great.
Good luck!!!
Met my first goal, met my second goal, met my surgeons goal. Now I have a new goal!
I am upset because I can't do the things I want to do, and things I feel like I should be able to do. And you know, when I was fat, I could go grocery shoppinig and buy anything I wanted to buy. I did not have to decide which brands or what size to buy based on what shelf they put them on.
My back is much, much, much worse than it was pre op. I don't think surgery made it worse, I don't see how it would. Probably it would have gotten worse if I hadn't had surgery, too.
But it is much worse. I used to be able to do all kinds of things I cannot do now. I used to be able to buy stuff on the bottom shelves, I used to be able to sweep my kitchen floor - well, I can still sweep it, but I can't bend over to sweep the pile of dirt into the dust pan. Now I can just make a pile of dirt in the middle of the floor. And leave it there. I used to be able to get laundry out of the dryer and then carry the basket into the bedroom to put it away. I used to be able to walk about 2.5 miles, and as long as I didn't walk too fast, I was fine. Now, walking from the parking lot to the store causes a lot of pain. I used to be able to walk up and down the stairs at the library - the adult books are on the second floor. Now, I have to take the elevator. Blah
My back is much, much, much worse than it was pre op. I don't think surgery made it worse, I don't see how it would. Probably it would have gotten worse if I hadn't had surgery, too.
But it is much worse. I used to be able to do all kinds of things I cannot do now. I used to be able to buy stuff on the bottom shelves, I used to be able to sweep my kitchen floor - well, I can still sweep it, but I can't bend over to sweep the pile of dirt into the dust pan. Now I can just make a pile of dirt in the middle of the floor. And leave it there. I used to be able to get laundry out of the dryer and then carry the basket into the bedroom to put it away. I used to be able to walk about 2.5 miles, and as long as I didn't walk too fast, I was fine. Now, walking from the parking lot to the store causes a lot of pain. I used to be able to walk up and down the stairs at the library - the adult books are on the second floor. Now, I have to take the elevator. Blah
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
FleurDeLis
on 6/14/12 5:44 am
on 6/14/12 5:44 am
Ask for help. Especially at the check out line. The 70+ year old lady who helps you will have a smile on her face the rest of the day.
Of course when you get to my age when you tell the cashier you need help getting the stuff out of the cart it sounds more like a surrender than a statement you need help.
Of course when you get to my age when you tell the cashier you need help getting the stuff out of the cart it sounds more like a surrender than a statement you need help.
Kelly
I can only imagine your frustration. Being able to do less and less each day is not where any of us want to be, particularly when it includes the daily activities that we all take for granted. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Take Care
I can only imagine your frustration. Being able to do less and less each day is not where any of us want to be, particularly when it includes the daily activities that we all take for granted. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Take Care
Eliza
Consult:239 SW:217 1mo:195 2mo:182 3mo:169 6mo:139 9mo GOAL CW: +2 from underweight
Consult:239 SW:217 1mo:195 2mo:182 3mo:169 6mo:139 9mo GOAL CW: +2 from underweight
IrishIze
on 6/14/12 6:14 am - NJ
on 6/14/12 6:14 am - NJ
I understand your pain both in the physical sense and in the sense of feeling like you're losing your ability to be independent when you don't trust your back. I am in much the same situation. I have three bulging discs in my back and while it's always a bit achy, I can generally do most things. BUT, I never know what will set it off and I have often been in the same situation of getting 'stuck' somewhere. One of the most frustrating places was in the movies. I sat in those uncomfortable chairs and when the movie was over, I couldn't get up. Eventually I had to slide myself onto the (sticky) floor and crawl to the end of the aisle. Awful. I also hurt it the other day just going through my closet. I was trying to see what was way in the back and tried sliding a whole bunch of clothes to the right and it was like a lightning bolt in my lower back.
I have always been fiercely independent and hate to ask for help. I remember a story my therapist once told me about a young man who wanted to borrow the car from his father. His father told him if he moved the huge boulder in the front yard, he could use the car that night. The kid tried pushing and pulling; he tried levers and ropes and couldn't move the stone. Finally he told his dad that he had tried everything and the boulder wouldn't budge. His dad told him "you didn't try everything" and the kid insisted he had. Then the father said: ' You didn't try everything, because you didn't ask me to help you". That little story kind of stuck with me and I'm starting to learn that it's OK to ask for help and it sure beats being out of commission with an out of whack back. Hang in there.....
I have always been fiercely independent and hate to ask for help. I remember a story my therapist once told me about a young man who wanted to borrow the car from his father. His father told him if he moved the huge boulder in the front yard, he could use the car that night. The kid tried pushing and pulling; he tried levers and ropes and couldn't move the stone. Finally he told his dad that he had tried everything and the boulder wouldn't budge. His dad told him "you didn't try everything" and the kid insisted he had. Then the father said: ' You didn't try everything, because you didn't ask me to help you". That little story kind of stuck with me and I'm starting to learn that it's OK to ask for help and it sure beats being out of commission with an out of whack back. Hang in there.....
Irish......
I share your frustration, Kelly! Back pain totally sucks. I used to have a lot of trouble with my lower back - sitting in the car unable to get out? I have so been there. Post-surgery, my lower back is tons better, only bothers me now and then and not nearly as painful. However, the upper back is another story altogether. Anyone else have this issue? I think it's because the girls are not shrinking like the rest of me. I went from a 44DD to a 38F in 4 months. I am thinking I might end up needing a breast reduction, LOL.
Hope you are feeling better soon, Kelly. I haven't found a cure for my current problem, but strengthening my abs helped a lot with my lower back. Don't know if that would be something that would help you, and if it is, you probably already tried it. I went to physical therapy and they showed me ab exercised that I could actually do without hurting even worse.
Hope you are feeling better soon, Kelly. I haven't found a cure for my current problem, but strengthening my abs helped a lot with my lower back. Don't know if that would be something that would help you, and if it is, you probably already tried it. I went to physical therapy and they showed me ab exercised that I could actually do without hurting even worse.
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