anxiety and family functions

Hi Kelly,

I know we're all different, but I tried Buspar around 2008, and about 6 months after starting it, had one of my worst crashes ever. It never was enough to insulate me against the anxiety  when I really needed it.

I think going is a good idea too. I like your idea of bringing your own car, and I'd relax about having to participate. I have a feeling that anxiety might be bringing on some "What if" thinking and that can always heap on more  unnecessary anxiety.

It really is okay to go, eat a grilled mushroom, and if you really can't do it, say you're not feeling well, and go home.

Kat

Could you find a place to separate from the crowd at you're partner's parents?  Sometimes I go but then find a quite place with one or two people - typically indoors while the crowd is outside. Be sure to let the doc know about the side effects of ECT if you go for additional treatments.  They should have some adjustability in settings and you may be able to get help without the memory loss. Just a thought.

My doc does know about the memory loss from the ECT.  I won't be doing it again.  The improvement in the depression was very slight and the memory loss too debilitating.  I had 18 treatments in all, I think.  We started out with unilateral ECT, just doing one side, and after some time switched to bilateral, both sides, because I wasn't improving with the unilateral.  Bilateral ECT is associated with greater memory loss and that's why they typically start out with unilateral.

I guess I'm not sorry I tried it because I feel like I need to try anything that has a reasonable chance of helping, and ECT does help many people.  I was really disappointed with my results, though.  And it was not an easy thing to do.  For about six weeks, I went three times a week.  The hospital where I had it done was a little over an hour away from where I live (the little hospital in my town does not do ECT) and of course someone had to drive me because you can't drive yourself home afterward and with the long drive and then being there for a couple of hours, it took up a big part of the day.  And we did that three times a week for six weeks.

And I was really out of it during that time.  I actually don't remember much about that time now, but I know that the memory loss was bad enough that I was not able to do a lot of things I normally do.  Like, I could not go grocery shopping because I could not remember how to get to the grocery store.

That is so disappointing.  So many people do much better with ECT when other things fail.  It sounds like the depression is not under control.  I feel really bad for you.