Emotions and "helpful" advice from "friends"

Like anything we do in our lives, there are good things and bad things. What was bad for me, or them, won't necessairly be bad for you. Each of us is having our very own journey - and though some things are similar, they are all unique. I too had the panic before surgery thoughts. I think I flip-flopped about a dozen times. I am just over a year out now.

I too went through the "omg I might not be able to eat this or that..." phase. And then I thought - wait a minute... didn't eating "this and that" help to get me to the point that I needed WLS... and what if I can't have "this or that"... is it so bad if I accomplish my goal of getting this weight off my aching joints (the biggest reason I had the surgery.)

Another thing to think about it the risk of NOT having the surgery VS having the surgery. Only you can answer this one.

The liquid diet was rough for me too... but I made it! Because I really wanted to be able to have the surgery and knew that it was a requirement. Ask your nut for suggestions for when the going gets tough.

And lastly... thank your friends for their insight, but tell them you do not want any more negative input about the surgery - or what might, or might not, happen. Tell them that you welcome their positive comments.

Best wishes.. Pam

My dr. put me on a 4 week/2 part pre op diet. The first two weeks I was to drink 3-4 protein shakes a day with one meal (didn't matter which meal as long as it was healthy, not junk food), then the last two weeks before surgery I was on 5-6 protein drinks a day. During both phases I could have the SF popsicles, jello, and broth. It is my opinion that my dr. did me a favor by having me do my pre op diets this way. I think the first two week helped to prepare me for the full liquids of the second two weeks. Was it hard? Well I didn't feel the first two weeks was hard at all since I got to eat once a day. The second two weeks was only difficult for a couple of days (mainly because they had a lot of food brought into work that week). After a few days on the full liquids it became easier and when I felt like I needed to eat something I would grab SF popsicles for "crunch" SF jello so I could eat with a spoon, and broth when I felt like I needed salt. But overall I really didn't eat much of the popsicles, jello, or broth, I was pretty satisfied with the protein drinks.

You are doing great! I've been trying to keep up with you since you and I had surgery the same day.  You have lost 20 more pounds than me!    Way to go!    Sherry

Is it selfish to have surgery that is highly likely to improve your health?  I don't think so.  And if you stay fat, isn't that risking now being here?  Because what are the chances you could die from a heart attack or stroke or something?

As far as your friend telling you how miserable he was on the pre op diet, well, I'm sure that was his experience.  That doesn't mean it will be yours.  It might be, I don't know.  I only had to do liquids for five days and I was not angry or sad.  Mostly I was just excited because it meant my surgery day was almost here.  I was a little hungry, but not even that bad.  And I'm not lying to you.  That was my experience.  Yours might be similar or it might not.

I think telling you to eat as much of your favorite foods as possible before the liquid diet is bad advice.  Sure, you might as well eat foods you like before the pre op diet.  No point in eating food you hate.  But there's no need to eat as much as possible, either.  You'll get to eat plenty of yummy food again in the future.  Overeating now will just make you gain weight that you'll then have to lose after surgery.

I would pick new friends.  WTF is wrong with him, an inflated sense of self I assume since he can now speak for the entire wls community and how every one of us feels.  Honestly, seriously, truthfully, when I had surgery I was DONE with food, food betrayed me, ruined my body, made me ******g miserable and sick.  I was DONE!  DID I mention I was DONE, I came home from the hospital and my bf got a Wendy's burger and I sipped tea.  I was thrilled, happy, elated, I felt absolutey nothing, no desire to eat, no hunger, no nothing.  I used this opportunity (and it is an opportunity that not everyone gets) as a springboard to fix my broken relationship with food, and I have, not perfectly, not without eating crap I shouldn't, but overall everyday I am thrilled I took this step to rid my body of the diabetes that killed my mother at 61, to get my weight in check and to finally feel good.  To sit with my legs crossed, or my knees up under my chin, or lay in my pool in a bikini and not be embarassed by my body.  WLS was and is a miracle to me, and I am thankful every single day, attitude is everything, if you don't embrace your new life you are destined to repeat your mistakes.  Be the beautiful wife and mom you always wanted to be, eat because you need too not to fill every void and have fun and enjoy yourself without thinking about your size.  Believe me the cliche is so ******g true, nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  Really!

I can't say my pre-op diet was a breeze but I had been cutting back knowing it was coming and then the night before I started it....I binged big time on carbs so yeah the first few days were hard getting all that back out of my system but eventually, I wasn't even hungry anymore.  I knew I had to do the shakes so I did them and still eating SF Banana Popsicles, nothing else seems to satisfy the sweet tooth and I don't miss ice cream.   The only thing I can say I miss is pizza....sitting here thinking about it...I don't want it....but when I see it, the sensors go off and man it's pretty hard.  Not to say down the road, maybe I can make my own version and be satisfied but right now I want to lay off all that stuff and do what I'm supposed to do.  

I too had feelings of doing the right thing...I have one child and really not sure what family member I'd leave him with if anything happened to me.  Which is sad....my sister would take care of him but it would be an adjustment. However, I knew if all went right then look at the life we could have after I get all this weight off me.  I lost half of it before.....on weigh****chers, got married and gained it all back plus 30 pounds.  So, try and see the glass as half full and how much better life will be.  Trust in your doctor.....I had the best around in my opinion and he truly knows his stuff.  I have not had any vomiting or naucea (unless I did it to myself) and while I hoped for faster weight loss, I am lossing which is better than the path I was on.....death.  Sad to say but true. 

In reading your post, I want to tell you....I love food, it was my friend..in good times and bad and honestly, I don't miss...right now I am eating to live and I hope that I can keep on this path and never got back to living to eat. 

I hope this helps, sometimes I get rambly....but you have to do what's right for you and then your family.   They will benefit from this greatly too! 

HTH,

Sherry

It sounds like to have your families support. During your diet time stick close to those you love and who love you for support. I did the liquid diet at a music festival and it was not the easiest thing but I sure saved a lot of money (lol).

Good luck and it is not as hard as it seems and it is temporary.

Even with the risks, you kids needs a mommy and without the procedure you would not be around as long as with the procedure. The risks are lower today then they have ever been so you are doing it for your family, not being selfish.

We-e-e-ell, the pre-op diet was the hardest part of this journey for me so far.  But that's the good news!  Can you diet for 2 weeks?  Of course you can!  If you are like most of us, you have done it a gazillion times.  The thing that made the pre-op diet hard for me was that I was anxious about the surgery, and I was an emotional eater.  My advice when the going gets tough?  Talk about it, cry about it, go to a kickboxing class, make cubed steak by hand, you'll find something that works for you.  You can do anything for two weeks, and you are SO worth it! 

Another word of advice: turn off the TV.  Those pizza commercials just about killed me.

 As a Mom and one time wife... I can honestly say MOM'S/Wives need to love themselves FIRST!!!  If you do not look out for yourself, you would not be there in the future to look after them.  Simple.  Morbid Obesity is on the rise and is inflicting a greater number of Mothers and Wives each year.  The term Morbid originates of Death so if that isn't motivation to loose the classification title then what is.  I really had the guilt issues as I am now a single mom and my parents have already passed away so who would my son have to raise him??  But I had to think long term and in the bigger picture I would be there for myself and him.  Sometimes you just have to put your faith into the good that you see ahead of you and tell those nasty thoughts in your head that you will not pay them no further attention.  And as for your friend, I am sure he had good intentions.  Men think of food differently than we do and that is probably the biggest change food wise he's had to go through so I could see where others views didn't fit his own experiences.  But now you have your own journey to make and politely tell him thank you for sharing your experiences but I will figured it out on my own and in my own time.