OT - relationship stuff - I need some advice

 So sorry Kelly. 

Definitely go to your appointment and let him take you. You won't be better off if you reschedule. 

You've gotten some good advice here - I don't have anything profound to add. But The Language of Letting Go is an excellent book in times of difficulty. 

In my relationship I am the caretaker ...my husband has had significant ailments .... he can't walk for long, needs consistent attention etc... (Bipolar, CMT, Amputee)

Its draining, difficult, and I OFTEN feel like his mom and not his wife....

I am telling you this to give you the "other" side. Your relationship isn't necessarily over especially if he says that he doesn't want you to go...

My suggestion... ASK HIM... Calmly. "Are you really not in love with me or is it that you are just tired of taking care of me?" "do you feel that if we communicated and made changes together that this relationship is salvageable?"

I have considered leaving my relationship many times and even did once for a couple of months. The truth is that sometimes something has to give. And perhaps he is at the point that something has to give.

You need to really ask yourself some tough questions... are you relying on him MORE then you need to? Are there things you can pick up in your house, life, that would relieve some pressure off him? Do you even WANT to?

Maybe suggest couples therapy?

If all else fails, you know you did everything you could to salvage your relationship.

Good luck!

Julia

 Wow! That really stinks! (((hugs)))

As for your appointment, I'd have him take you to that since he is insisting on taking you.

Not to pry, but are you on disability? If so, they usually have ride services for those who need transportation to and from appointments, grocery shopping, etc. 

I hope things work out for you, whether or not your partner is in the picture. 

Yes, I am on disability (SSDI).  Do you have any idea who would provide those ride services?  Like, would it be the agency that administers Medicaid?  I'm pretty sure social security doesn't.  I'm not sure if they would take me to this appointment anyway, because it's 90 minutes away.  Those services might just be local.  County-wide or something.  But I will check into it.

 I would check with elder services with your county first. They probably have a better idea of the services offered. They probably can direct you to the proper agencies if they can't provide the info you're looking for. 

 I just sent you a PM. Let me know if you need more help!

See if you have a Center for Independent Living in your area. They would have the ride information. Each State is different. I know in Illinois there if you have medicaid there is a 800 number to call to get approval for medcar services to take you to medical appts. Even if it is 90 mins away. You typically have to call in advance to schedule. So it won't work for this one but it can for the future.

They will have other transportation information for you as well as other resources. I work for one in IL but I'm pretty sure most have the same services nationwide.

I just called two places in my county.  One only provide transportation in this county.  The other will go pretty much anywhere but because I am not elderly and not a veteran, I have to pay for it.  They charge $1.25 per mile.  So that would be hideously expensive for a 90 minute trip there and back.

I sort of have Medicaid, except I have a really high spend down.  My Medicaid only kicks in after I pay $650 out of pocket for medical expenses each month.  Which almost never happens so my Medicaid is not active at this moment.

Kelly I am so sorry you are going through this. I myself am going through the aftermath of a breakup. It is tough and not easy, but honestly you have to do what is best for you. If you can ‘t trust him and his feelings have changed towards you then it doesn’t sound like it is going to work for the long term.    I couldn’t trust my ex either but he was lying and hiding a drinking problem, which is a different case, but it still boiled down to the fact that the relationship was no good for me anymore and staying with him was not going to be a positive aspect in my life.    You are a strong and intelligent woman and I know you will make it through this….I am having some rough days but I just know that as time passes it will get better. 

Christy
 

Oh Kelly i am so sorry you are going through this, I have no advise nothing to add....but i would let him take you to your appointment, you have come to far to let the appointment go, my hope is when you have less pain you will feel better mentally & physically, If you decide to move you cannot do it in this condition . So what the heck, go with it, let him take the day off and take you for your appointments, grin & bear it for now, good luck,,,, big hug