Over coming a demon
Ok so in all seriousness the past wek and a half has been a real challenge and I will continue to be challenged for months and years to come. I'm not looking for pity or sympathy but just putting this out there to show people that if you commit to your change then you can overcome your past.
My baby girl is 11 months old now, hard to believe, and since birth they have been doing follow-up hearing tests because she failed the in Hospital test. At first we were none to worried because when we talked to her she would look at us and everything seemed perfectly normal. We were assured that the one test she consistently failed didn't really show a problem because she always passed a more detailed test that measured her brain response to the auditory stimulus. Well starting a couple months ago we noticed more and more that she did not respond to us as she had. Finally after my wife complaining she was retested again a couple Fridays ago. The results were not great infact they were probably the worst results possible. They ended the test at 90 decibles (think standing next to a gas lawn mower) with no reactions. So mentally and physically we are an exhausted couple of parents. My routine has been totally derailed as getting out of bed in the morning somedays takes every bit of energy I have.
So what demons did I over come? Well I am an emotional eater. Food has always been the comfort the one thing in my life that gave me some satisfaction. Part of this is based on my childhood and my inability to effectively deal with stress as it occurs. Stress and emotions have never been something I would deal with. Ignore it and turn to something that makes you feel good instead.
Since surgery I have tried to maintain a positive attitude that no matter what happened I could overcome it. Ulcers, injuries anything that had the potential to derail me from my goals was met with a smile and I have been pretty successful at pushing forward through these things. The past week I have learned that I am stronger than my past that rather than retreat away from a problem like this and try to find comfort that I deal with the problems head on. Hours of research so far scheduling of appointments talking with family and friends who always want updates, even when we don't feel like talking. Many hours of tears and questioning have occured this past week and many hours will occur over the weeks and months ahead. Not once did I say I'm not dealing with this and go grab a cookie, well I do dump but you get my point. Not once did I runaway to the gym or running trail in order to avoid talking or dealing with this issue. Infact I probably had the worst run every yesterday that involved a number of breakdowns during my long and painful 10 miles.
To be hones nothing really makes the pain go away completely at this time not even food. The good news is that I also have not swung a 180 and just stopped eating because I know that is just as bad. I have stuck to eating a fairly healthy ranges of choices I just haven't always planned out the way I had before.
So if you are pre-op or post-op and you are questioning your ability to follwo through and become successful remember that you control your results. Your ability to deal with your demons and change your relationship with food will take you far in this life.
My baby girl is 11 months old now, hard to believe, and since birth they have been doing follow-up hearing tests because she failed the in Hospital test. At first we were none to worried because when we talked to her she would look at us and everything seemed perfectly normal. We were assured that the one test she consistently failed didn't really show a problem because she always passed a more detailed test that measured her brain response to the auditory stimulus. Well starting a couple months ago we noticed more and more that she did not respond to us as she had. Finally after my wife complaining she was retested again a couple Fridays ago. The results were not great infact they were probably the worst results possible. They ended the test at 90 decibles (think standing next to a gas lawn mower) with no reactions. So mentally and physically we are an exhausted couple of parents. My routine has been totally derailed as getting out of bed in the morning somedays takes every bit of energy I have.
So what demons did I over come? Well I am an emotional eater. Food has always been the comfort the one thing in my life that gave me some satisfaction. Part of this is based on my childhood and my inability to effectively deal with stress as it occurs. Stress and emotions have never been something I would deal with. Ignore it and turn to something that makes you feel good instead.
Since surgery I have tried to maintain a positive attitude that no matter what happened I could overcome it. Ulcers, injuries anything that had the potential to derail me from my goals was met with a smile and I have been pretty successful at pushing forward through these things. The past week I have learned that I am stronger than my past that rather than retreat away from a problem like this and try to find comfort that I deal with the problems head on. Hours of research so far scheduling of appointments talking with family and friends who always want updates, even when we don't feel like talking. Many hours of tears and questioning have occured this past week and many hours will occur over the weeks and months ahead. Not once did I say I'm not dealing with this and go grab a cookie, well I do dump but you get my point. Not once did I runaway to the gym or running trail in order to avoid talking or dealing with this issue. Infact I probably had the worst run every yesterday that involved a number of breakdowns during my long and painful 10 miles.
To be hones nothing really makes the pain go away completely at this time not even food. The good news is that I also have not swung a 180 and just stopped eating because I know that is just as bad. I have stuck to eating a fairly healthy ranges of choices I just haven't always planned out the way I had before.
So if you are pre-op or post-op and you are questioning your ability to follwo through and become successful remember that you control your results. Your ability to deal with your demons and change your relationship with food will take you far in this life.
Paul C.
First 5K 9/27/20 46:32 - 11 weeks post op (PR 28:55 8/15/11)
First 10K 7/04/2011 1:03 First 15K 9/18/2011 1:37
First Half Marathon 10/02/2011 2:27:44 (PR 2:24:35)
First Half Ironman 9/30/12 7:32:04
First 5K 9/27/20 46:32 - 11 weeks post op (PR 28:55 8/15/11)
First 10K 7/04/2011 1:03 First 15K 9/18/2011 1:37
First Half Marathon 10/02/2011 2:27:44 (PR 2:24:35)
First Half Ironman 9/30/12 7:32:04
((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))) Paul, I'm so sorry about your demons. I'm proud of you for all you have accomplished in your own life and pray for you and your family. Thank you for the reminder that it is our own selves that control our results in how we choose to deal with our own demons. May God Bless you!!
Lori 
So sorry to hear about your daughter. Your family will be in my thoughts & prayers. A big Amen to "So if you are pre-op or post-op and you are questioning your ability to follwo through and become successful remember that you control your results. Your ability to deal with your demons and change your relationship with food will take you far in this life."
Highest weight : 315 lbs, Surgery weight: 298.5 lbs, Current weight: 183.5 lbs
I'm so sorry. It sounds like you and your family will get through whatever comes your way. One of my facebook friends doesn't post on OH much anymore but she has been an ASL interpreter her entire life and she is one of the most positive people who adores her work that I know.
Here is her FB profile and I'm going to send her this link. Judi
www.facebook.com/dana.barr
Here is her FB profile and I'm going to send her this link. Judi
www.facebook.com/dana.barr
Praying for you and your family.
Sandy
HW 225, SW 219, GW 140, CW 124
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
Way to keep yourself in check!! As a student of ASL, i can tell you that many hard of hearing do not see this as a disability. ASL is an amazing tool and a beautiful language. i started using simple signs with my children immediately after they were born even tho they are not hard of hearing. i was communicating with my children before they could actually talk. i suggest that you and your wife and children enroll in the community college class as soon as possible so that you can begin learning how to communicate with your daughter. this new learning may give you something to focus on rather than food. the deaf community is an amazingly supportive and loving community at large and if you contact your local group i am sure they can help you with the next few months. best wishes to you and your family especially your daughter.
Be well, and always - take care of you!
a.
a.
I am sorry to hear about your daughter. Your positive attitude will do wonders for her emotional development along the path she will travel.
I was born with a degenerative retinal disease. At this time there are 6 living closely related relatives living with this disease. Every family member who has had this and are no longer living were completely blind - my father was one of them.
My father was a retired Lt. Colonel who was awarded 2 bronze stars and one silver star. His career was exemplary. He kept his eye disease a complete secret from the Army until he knew at barely 40 he would have to be medically retired. His mother, my grandmother, lived 20 years alone and completely blind. You could eat off her floors they were so clean. She woke each and every day putting on heels, a dress and makeup. She was old school. It was not until I was 21 when I saw her specialist was I told my issues were the same as her issues. I was told by the specialist in all his years of practice he had never seen a 21 year old with worse eyes than mine. My father and grandmother never talked about their disease.
While I do not agree with their modeling of this, I am eternally grateful for one aspect of their choice to keep their eye disease private. It taught me nothing was impossible, and at no time did my father or grandmother ever put limitations on me although there were times it might have been a little wise to do so.
My middle daughter has inherited this disease. She is the only one of my 3 children, and my sister has 2 children with the disease as well as she. We have had to learn to moderate our lives, but especially in our younger years we were never limited by family.
Your incredible success with your personal journey will be so beneficial for your daughter. You and your wife are her advocates, and your attitudes about this will help form her attitude about herself and her abilities.
I know this is difficult. I remember when my middle daughter was a toddler and she would walk out of a dimly lit room holding onto the wall (the inability to see in dim light is one of the first symptoms) I knew she had inherited the disease before she was formally diagnosed. Today she is an Oil & Gas Accountant and is very successful. There is adaptive technology and medical science and technology developers are always moving forward in research for all kinds of diseases.
I pray you and your wife's footsteps will be divinely ordered and the people who can help you the most will be placed into your lives..
I was born with a degenerative retinal disease. At this time there are 6 living closely related relatives living with this disease. Every family member who has had this and are no longer living were completely blind - my father was one of them.
My father was a retired Lt. Colonel who was awarded 2 bronze stars and one silver star. His career was exemplary. He kept his eye disease a complete secret from the Army until he knew at barely 40 he would have to be medically retired. His mother, my grandmother, lived 20 years alone and completely blind. You could eat off her floors they were so clean. She woke each and every day putting on heels, a dress and makeup. She was old school. It was not until I was 21 when I saw her specialist was I told my issues were the same as her issues. I was told by the specialist in all his years of practice he had never seen a 21 year old with worse eyes than mine. My father and grandmother never talked about their disease.
While I do not agree with their modeling of this, I am eternally grateful for one aspect of their choice to keep their eye disease private. It taught me nothing was impossible, and at no time did my father or grandmother ever put limitations on me although there were times it might have been a little wise to do so.
My middle daughter has inherited this disease. She is the only one of my 3 children, and my sister has 2 children with the disease as well as she. We have had to learn to moderate our lives, but especially in our younger years we were never limited by family.
Your incredible success with your personal journey will be so beneficial for your daughter. You and your wife are her advocates, and your attitudes about this will help form her attitude about herself and her abilities.
I know this is difficult. I remember when my middle daughter was a toddler and she would walk out of a dimly lit room holding onto the wall (the inability to see in dim light is one of the first symptoms) I knew she had inherited the disease before she was formally diagnosed. Today she is an Oil & Gas Accountant and is very successful. There is adaptive technology and medical science and technology developers are always moving forward in research for all kinds of diseases.
I pray you and your wife's footsteps will be divinely ordered and the people who can help you the most will be placed into your lives..
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