thanks to everyone

Geez, I don't know what happened to me earlier.  I had a total meltdown.  I think part of it is that time of month, which started a bit early and I am having a lot of cramps and just generally feeling miserable.  To be honest, I kind of feel like I also need my meds adjusted, except I have no idea what kind of adjustment I might need because I've really tried pretty much everything as far as meds go and there's not much more that could be tried.  I see my psychiatrist in a couple weeks though and we'll talk about it.

I really appreciate all the kind responses.  I don't have the energy at the moment to respond to each one individually but I appreciate them all.

I wonder if maybe the ex does have Asperger's?  It would be a pretty mild case of it but there are some times he seems pretty oblivious to basic social things that most people would pay attention to.  I never really thought about it before but it's possible.

I'm a little late on reading everyone's post (went to bed VERY early last night)....but I did read it this morning (crying) and all I can do is offer you (((hugs)))...

Everyone else has given you plenty of advice so I'll refrain from that.  Just know that you are a beautiful person inside and out.  =)

Oh, Kelly, I'm so sorry you were hurt.  You may be right....there are some people who just don't seem to understand normal social conventions and Asbergers does have that component.   Maybe that's why he's your ex?  My ex was very similar....never ever commented on my appearance even when I made a special effort to look nice, and it does hurt.  Not even on our wedding night....and I was a size 10 then.  And he never seemed to get it.

I stay away from my ex....he's not a bad guy, and would never deliberately hurt me, but does it anyhow.  So, following my rule of avoiding toxic people, I had to put him in that category.  Maybe you need to do the same with your ex.

And it's okay to have a meltdown.  You were hurt, and it sounds like there were many hurts in the past.  It's okay to have those feelings and to reach out to others for help and comfort.  If you can't do it here, then where?
Kathy

 The pain meds from the hospital knock me out of commission for hours on end, otherwise I'd have been able to read thru everything last night without falling asleep, phone in hand. I hope you continue to feel better and if need be, get things adjusted as you and your doctor see fit. I really do hope you're doing alright. :)

(((hugs))) I'm sorry Kelly. I read your post and felt your pain. I didn't get a chance to read everyone's replies, but I'm sure there was a lot of good advice, so I'll just say I'm sorry and from what I know about you I think you are a beautiful person inside and out!

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. You're a special person and don't deserve it (of course, nobody deserves it, I guess). But anyway, like others have suggested, there may be something wrong with the guy. On the other hand, he just might be a clueless guy. I don't know the answer, but just wanted to lend some support and a cyber-hug.

 Kelly my heart goes out to you! As far as aspergers they are lots of ranges he could be high functioning. My brother and his son both have it. His wife has the worst time with it as he is not very affectionate but I know he loves her just doesn't say it. Weird. You are a beautiful lady inside and out and just in my short time on the boards I can truely see how compassionate and sharing you are with everyone. thank you :) 

HUGS Kelly. You sound much better this morning. I didn't have time to respond last night, but thinking about you and hope your situation resolves itself soon so you can have a happy home.

Your post brought tears to my eyes and I would rather have a root canal then cry. LOL. You are a beautiful person! Your passion for knowledge and educating/helping others is amazing. You do not need another person to confirm your beauty. Although, it IS nice to hear from your partner from time to time. I am sorry that you are hurting, and please know that there are many people on this board that very much appreciate you!

I too am late to see you post Kelly.  I am so sorry you are in this pain.  You are such an inspiration to everyone on this board.  When I first had RNY and had a million questions and was scared to death you were the first person to respond to them.  As I look at everyone else's questions, you are always chiming in.  I might dare to say that this board wouldn't be the same without you and we all owe a lot of our successes to you.  Sometimes the people who give the most, get the least in return, and its really not fair.

I think itsjust a little  funny that the board thinks your ex has Aspergers.  If he has it then my husband does too....  What  a typical MALE response!  I'm not man bashing but sometimes they really are clueless.   

You are gorgeous inside and out and you deserve to find someone who doesn't need to be reminded of this. 

xo