Eye Opening

I was doing a search on trigger point injections since I just had that done today and I realized that in threads that were 3 or so  years old there is nary a familiar face that posted.  They all seem to have faded off into WLS oblivion.  I know that I did that before, when I had my first WLS.  I posted (on another site) pretty regularly for about 2 years and then I gradually went on to live my life as if I never had WLS.  And I paid the price.  That is why, at 2 years out, I make it a habit to check in every day and post when called for.  I don't know how those now gone members are doing.  Hopefully they are doing fine but they aren't around to tell me.  I need to stay mindful everyday that I am different, that my body is different and I can not ever be normal again.  I will never be able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, in the amounts I want unless I pay a big price of pain and discomfort.  I made that choice and I am living it.  Most days it is okay.  I have some days, like yesterday, where I felt some of that buyers remorse that I experienced at 2 weeks out.  I went out to eat with my boyfriend and daughter and we went to Outback.  As usually I ordered what I wanted, a steak with a baked potato, vegetables and a salad.  Even my daughter asked why I did that since I barely ever ate much more then the steak, and not much of that.  I was thinking to myself that maybe this time I would be able to eat a little more but of course after a few bites I was done.  Most of the time I am grateful to be able to be satisfied with a small amount but yesterday I was sad that my days of overeating are gone, at least for now.  I guess I really expected that by 2 years out I would be able to eat more, at least more then I used to but I am basically eating the same way I have for over a year.  Which normally, like I said, would be a good thing.  Yesterday for some reason that made me sad.
Today I am fine with being able to eat so little except when I look in my fridge and see the leftover boxes sitting there that I will probably never get around to eating.  My dogs will be happy.  And all the food overflowing, in the fridge, the shelves and the freezer, because I always buy more then I need because my mind still hasn't caught up with my capacity. 

You know, I have days like this. I'm very happy with where I am at now, and with the amount I eat. But every once in a while I look at my plate and then look at my husbands plate and think, "man, how I'd love to be able to eat all he eats." But I can't of course. But then the feeling fades and feel great again.

Anyways, point is I know exactly how you feel. Just hang in there and when you have those feelings, try and remember how wonderful you look and feel and know that it is all worth it.

Well, not ALL of us who were here three (or four, or five...) years ago have disappeared... But, yes, most people do.  I know that staying here helps me stay motivated and mindful and that it has contributed to me being able to maintain my weight at 5 years out (especially since I do not attend a local support group).

Lora

I did forget to mention how grateful I am for the people who do stick it out year and year to help guide us newbies through the paths they have already traveled.  This site would not be nearly as good without the people who show us how it is done and that it can be done.

I too consider this my support group.  There's only one in my area and it meets Monday nights and I have school Monday nights. I have learned more here on this site than I have in my classes through the hospital.  Thanks to everyone for their help and wise words.

Well, I'm still here.  But I have been on here a little less lately than I used to be, for a few reasons. 

I've had a lot going on in my life lately and while OH and all the stuff associated with my  WLS is still very important to me, it's not as pressing as it once was.  I'm doing well with regard to my weight and maintenance and all that stuff.  Now, I do think part of why I've done so well is being here daily and having all the support I get here, so I think it's important to stay involved.  But sometimes other things take priority now.

I've also been having some issues with my computer and that makes it hard to post sometimes.  I haven't had the time to try to get it fixed.  I've done everything I can do myself to fix it, I need to take it somewhere to have a professional look at it, but I don't want to be without my computer while that happens and I don't want to spend the money.

I have the same feeling sometimes about not being able to overeat.  Mostly I'm glad I can't, because if I could, I know I would.  But there are times I wish I could just stuff myself again.  The moments I feel sad about that don't last long.

Thank you so much for your post. I could have said the same thing and have in the past. I think new people should be required to read this post and understand it. Seems to me that many, not all, think this is just like any other diet, and “hay once the automatic think stops I can go back to eating like I did before“. NO YOU WILL NOT AND IF YOU DO YOU WILL BE FAT AGAIN AND THAT IS THE TRUTH. Sorry to be so negative, but this is modifying your body via surgery. Not Weigh****chers or some diet. This is a serious change to your pluming and you better be damned aware of it before you get it done. For me it is well worth it, and I am happy that I can not eat very much. I go to nice restaurants. I take my scale with me. Cut off 2.5oz of steak, eat it first, then any vegetables I have room for. I do not drink tha****er, never want anything else. Kind of expensive to pay $30.00 for 2.5oz of steak, but I take the rest home in a doggy bag and have it the next few days. I still have fun, enjoy the company of my friends and family and I am satisfied in knowing that I eat to live not live to eat.     

Oh I forgot to comment on something else on your post that was very good. Yes where are all those long time successes people? I go to the before and after pictures, look at their profiles, or blogs, and guess what they are not there anymore, or have not been updated in years and years. What the heck happened to them? Did they die, or get fat again. We have no idea. If a person gets on here and uses the facilities and help of others, in my opinion I think they have a duty to update their profile or at least have one. Some I guess are just to lazy to enter even a few words now and then, but you would think they would want to give back to others what was given to them. If you don’t see my profile updated for a long time, you may assume I am dead or have gotten fat again. That is what I assume has happened to those we no longer see anymore. I hope I am wrong. Still a nice post and I thank you for say many things I wanted to say.   

The statistics for success at RNY are NOT what most of us consider success. 50% of EWL is considered a success at 5 years - if I only maintained that EWL I certainly would consider myself a failure and I doubt I would be hanging out on here. After a year or two, most people get past the whole "I'm an RNY'er" thing and treat their surgery as any other surgery they have had - it really does cease to define who you are!!

I don't feel I *owe* anyone anything here - I have nothing on my profile but am happy to share my story where appropriate. I do have pictures on my profile but they are password protected and only available to those that ask for the password.

I know you are all gung ho about your surgery now but I promise you that will change in time ... Some of us manage to find the balance to remain mindful, but a lot of people won't - a large percentage of newbies posting now will disappear from the boards and regain a lot of weight - sorry to sound so negative but that's just the way it is ...

I assume most people that don't post here any longer are out living their lives and have other things to do besides post here and update their profiles.  

You really think people that have used this site have an obligation to update their profiles regularly forever?  But it sounds like you think they only have this obligation if they keep the weight off, since you said that if you stop posting, we can assume you're fat or dead.  Why would skinny people be obligated to update their profiles but not fat people?

I think I've give back a LOT to people on this site but I object to the idea that I am obligated to continue giving of my time and energy if I don't feel like it anymore for whatever reason.  I also think it's very presumptuous to assume that if I stop posting here, that means I am lazy.  You don't know what else is going on in my life.  Perhaps earning a living, helping to take care of a seriously ill family member, and other responsibilities take priority for me.  That does not mean I am lazy.