Questions/Family Discouragement
So, I am just starting my journey here. I know that it's a long journey for sure, and a life long journey at that. I have told close family members what I am planning on doing with my life. I couldn't believe their reaction. They were all against it, and not even for the right reasons. They weren't against it because they thought something was going to happen to me, or that I'd be at risk. They were just being completely discouraging, good thing I am completely dedicated to this! Has anyone else had the problem of close relatives being plain RUDE?
Telling me,
"Oh you've always been heavy, why do you think surgery is going to change that?" "You're gonna gain all of your weight back, so whats the point?"
. I guess it hurt my feelings more than anything, but I am determined, I will get this surgery (if approved) and Iwill succeed. Okay, just a few questions for fellow people who have gotten this surgery. 
-How much did you weigh before surgery how long and how much do you weigh now?
-If you could go back and do it all over again, would you?
-Pain scale of the surgery from 1-10?
-How much weight did you lose the first 6 months of surgery?
-Do you have any personal advice for myself?
-Would you reccomend this surgery to a family member?
-Were you atleast 75% happy with results?
I've done a lot of research, but would like ya'lls imput if I could.
Thanks for listening to my complaining~
I'm sorry they were uly to you :( People su(k, plain and simple. As long as you are doing this FOR YOURSELF, then don't worry about what they say or think and when you lose all the weight you want to, they will be astounded!
As for your quesions, I am just under 4 weeks out and I would do this again in a heartbeat. I'm very happy with the results and feel that I've had no problems at all. It is a life-long committment that not only I have to live with, but also my husband. :) I had no pain from the surgery itself, but the gas pains got me good ;( I've lost around 30lbs so far.
As for personal advice.... for the hospital, bring comfy slippers cause that's the only piece of personal clothing I wore in the hospital. Between them checking your vitals, being hooked up to a catheter, drain and IV, it was easier to wear 2 hospital gowns.
Walk as much as possible to relieve the gas pain.
Do EXACTLY what the doctors and nurses tell you to do! Follow the food phases to a "T" and you will do wonderfully. :)
Enjoy the ride. It is difficult at times, but it's worth all of the hard work, if you are committed. :)
Best of luck to you!!! :)
As for your quesions, I am just under 4 weeks out and I would do this again in a heartbeat. I'm very happy with the results and feel that I've had no problems at all. It is a life-long committment that not only I have to live with, but also my husband. :) I had no pain from the surgery itself, but the gas pains got me good ;( I've lost around 30lbs so far.
As for personal advice.... for the hospital, bring comfy slippers cause that's the only piece of personal clothing I wore in the hospital. Between them checking your vitals, being hooked up to a catheter, drain and IV, it was easier to wear 2 hospital gowns.
Walk as much as possible to relieve the gas pain.
Do EXACTLY what the doctors and nurses tell you to do! Follow the food phases to a "T" and you will do wonderfully. :)
Enjoy the ride. It is difficult at times, but it's worth all of the hard work, if you are committed. :)
Best of luck to you!!! :)
Annie HW 289 SW 257 GW 150 
I am sorry you aren't getting the support from your family you need. I did not experience that. I got a few folks who expressed concern for me (safety of surgery, etc). BUt in the end, everyone was quite positive. Almost a year later, all of them are so happy for me. Glad it worked out, happy that i feel good.
I truthfully had to fight a year to get the surgery and really didn't give a HOOT what anyones opinion was. If they didn't support it, i told them to Shut Up.
To answer your questions:
1. I am 5'5 and was 242 the day of my surgery. Today, 10 months postop i am 142. Lost 100 pounds.
2. Even with the complication i had post-op of my IVC filter removal, YES> YES YES. I would do it all over again. I have gained so much in my life. I found joy again.
3. Pain scale-- 3. Take the pain meds. Worse pain is the gas. But don't be a martyr. Take the pain meds.
4. Personal advice: Do what you need to do for YOU> If you are confident in your surgeon and you have made all the needed preparations mentally and physically. Go for it. But you do need to be ready. Don't wonder a week out "when can i have pizza again" Learn to enjoy the things you can and dont give food so much power.
5. I recommend the surgery to anyone who has researched and can feel confident in their own decision. BUt yes i have spoken to a few people at work etc who may be interested.
6. I am really 100% + happy.
Hope this helps. You wil lfind lots of suppprt here.
Catherine
I truthfully had to fight a year to get the surgery and really didn't give a HOOT what anyones opinion was. If they didn't support it, i told them to Shut Up.
To answer your questions:
1. I am 5'5 and was 242 the day of my surgery. Today, 10 months postop i am 142. Lost 100 pounds.
2. Even with the complication i had post-op of my IVC filter removal, YES> YES YES. I would do it all over again. I have gained so much in my life. I found joy again.
3. Pain scale-- 3. Take the pain meds. Worse pain is the gas. But don't be a martyr. Take the pain meds.
4. Personal advice: Do what you need to do for YOU> If you are confident in your surgeon and you have made all the needed preparations mentally and physically. Go for it. But you do need to be ready. Don't wonder a week out "when can i have pizza again" Learn to enjoy the things you can and dont give food so much power.
5. I recommend the surgery to anyone who has researched and can feel confident in their own decision. BUt yes i have spoken to a few people at work etc who may be interested.
6. I am really 100% + happy.
Hope this helps. You wil lfind lots of suppprt here.
Catherine
"Something has changed within me. Something is not the same". Elphaba 
I will answer your questions because I am a big advocate of this surgery. Remember, it is your decision, not theirs.
How much did you weigh before surgery how long and how much do you weigh now? Started at 251 - 231 day of surgery. Currently weight 149.
-If you could go back and do it all over again, would you? 1000 times yes!
-Pain scale of the surgery from 1-10? With the pain pump, virtually no pain. A little discomfort. I never filled the pain med prescription when I left the hospital so the pain was minimal. I took some tylenol at night.
-How much weight did you lose the first 6 months of surgery? 90 lbs. At goal of 100 lb. loss at 7 months.
-Do you have any personal advice for myself? Do it for you not your family or boyfriend or anyone else. Follow all recommendations of your surgeon and nutritionist. It works if you do the work.
-Would you reccomend this surgery to a family member? My daughter had the surgery 7 years ago and is still slim and happy with the results, so I would definitely recommend the surgery.
-Were you atleast 75% happy with results? No - I am 150% happy with the results.
How much did you weigh before surgery how long and how much do you weigh now? Started at 251 - 231 day of surgery. Currently weight 149.
-If you could go back and do it all over again, would you? 1000 times yes!
-Pain scale of the surgery from 1-10? With the pain pump, virtually no pain. A little discomfort. I never filled the pain med prescription when I left the hospital so the pain was minimal. I took some tylenol at night.
-How much weight did you lose the first 6 months of surgery? 90 lbs. At goal of 100 lb. loss at 7 months.
-Do you have any personal advice for myself? Do it for you not your family or boyfriend or anyone else. Follow all recommendations of your surgeon and nutritionist. It works if you do the work.
-Would you reccomend this surgery to a family member? My daughter had the surgery 7 years ago and is still slim and happy with the results, so I would definitely recommend the surgery.
-Were you atleast 75% happy with results? No - I am 150% happy with the results.
How much did you weigh before surgery how long and how much do you weigh now? Highest weight 354, at surgery 313, at 6 months 248, current 235
-If you could go back and do it all over again, would you? Yes, no questions about it.
-Pain scale of the surgery from 1-10? I had lap surgery about 2 or 3. Far less pain than any other surgery I have had.
-How much weight did you lose the first 6 months of surgery? 90 lbs from start of the process
-Do you have any personal advice for myself? Do this for you. take care of your self. follow instructions.
-Would you reccomend this surgery to a family member? Yes, absolutely.
-Were you atleast 75% happy with results? 100% happy.
-If you could go back and do it all over again, would you? Yes, no questions about it.
-Pain scale of the surgery from 1-10? I had lap surgery about 2 or 3. Far less pain than any other surgery I have had.
-How much weight did you lose the first 6 months of surgery? 90 lbs from start of the process
-Do you have any personal advice for myself? Do this for you. take care of your self. follow instructions.
-Would you reccomend this surgery to a family member? Yes, absolutely.
-Were you atleast 75% happy with results? 100% happy.
Winnie
Sorry to hear about the lack of support. I too have family members who I know would be like that and have not told them for that reason. My husband and daughters have been great. Remember you are considering this for your health. to be healthy, happy and live longer. I think it is great you checking out the forums ahead of time too.
Questions:
Highest weight 286, on surgery day 232, now 206. Surgery was 5 weeks ago. I am 5'8" tall.
I had the RNY done LYP with 7 small cuts.
Pain was about a 3 and I took the meds. Went home the next day from the hospital.
This hurt less then when I had my gallbladder out 7 yrs ago.
I would do this again and recommend it to anyone after they have researched and discussed with dr.'s.
I am really amazed how I really do feel much better every week.
Questions:
Highest weight 286, on surgery day 232, now 206. Surgery was 5 weeks ago. I am 5'8" tall.
I had the RNY done LYP with 7 small cuts.
Pain was about a 3 and I took the meds. Went home the next day from the hospital.
This hurt less then when I had my gallbladder out 7 yrs ago.
I would do this again and recommend it to anyone after they have researched and discussed with dr.'s.
I am really amazed how I really do feel much better every week.
RNY 8/29/12 5' 9" tall
Sorry about your family's reactions. I was the 4th in my family to have surgery, so I had support.
-How much did you weigh before surgery how long and how much do you weigh now? Lifetime high - 278 / consult weight - 234 / surgery weight 219 / this am 127 (has gone up since increasing exercise... but my clothes still fit)
-If you could go back and do it all over again, would you? YES!!!
-Pain scale of the surgery from 1-10? 2-3, much less than I expected.
-How much weight did you lose the first 6 months of surgery? Can't recall... but about 20 the first month and about 10lbs for the next few.
-Do you have any personal advice for myself? Follow your diet rules, practice the no eating/drinking rule and start exercising pre-op.
-Would you reccomend this surgery to a family member? Yes. My dd had a ds last November.
-Were you atleast 75% happy with results? More than. I am able to do so much than I could before.... I'm even working towards a 1/2 marathon.... put 8 miles in this afternoon.
-How much did you weigh before surgery how long and how much do you weigh now? Lifetime high - 278 / consult weight - 234 / surgery weight 219 / this am 127 (has gone up since increasing exercise... but my clothes still fit)
-If you could go back and do it all over again, would you? YES!!!
-Pain scale of the surgery from 1-10? 2-3, much less than I expected.
-How much weight did you lose the first 6 months of surgery? Can't recall... but about 20 the first month and about 10lbs for the next few.
-Do you have any personal advice for myself? Follow your diet rules, practice the no eating/drinking rule and start exercising pre-op.
-Would you reccomend this surgery to a family member? Yes. My dd had a ds last November.
-Were you atleast 75% happy with results? More than. I am able to do so much than I could before.... I'm even working towards a 1/2 marathon.... put 8 miles in this afternoon.
High Weight 278; consult weight 234; Surgery Weight 219 Surgeon's Goal Weight 150 -10/27/10 - Personal goal weight 140 - Achieved 12/11/10
Thank you to everyone *****plied! This seems like a loving, supportive community and I am very pleased to have found it! I would never let one of my family members discourage me from having this, it's something I have worked up the confidence, the strength and the will power to do. I am glad to see that all of you are happy with your results, and that gives me more motivation to keep going, to eat healthier, and to succeed and be happy!
You are doing this for you!
While this might not be right for whomever you are telling, you need to do what is best for you!
For me personally, I have had some similar comments from people I've told.
Family is family..they may not always agree with your decision, but it is yours to make and you are not entering into this lightly. Friends however, may change for you as time goes on. Start setting up your support system with those who will support you unconditionally. Beyond that, people need to accept your decision.
You are going to be tested as you grow and change, your friendships may change based on what they were to you before WLS and what continued role they may have in your changed life.
While I haven't had the surgery yet, I know I am making the best decision for myself and my children. My husband worries, but he is supportive in my decision. The weight and issues I am having necessitate this decision. I do believe if I can lose the weight, I will live longer. I also believe I will feel better and not ache as I do now. The bonus is that I will be able to wear cute clothes again.
Will it fix my emotional problems.. NO
Will it be magical and the weight will just fall off... NO
I will still need to work on my 'allowed' diet
I will still need to exercise
You have been faced with the reality that not everyone will understand your decision, but you need to do what is best for you. Continue to have the confidence in yourself and your decision. Don't let anyone's opinion rule your choices.
While this might not be right for whomever you are telling, you need to do what is best for you!
For me personally, I have had some similar comments from people I've told.
Family is family..they may not always agree with your decision, but it is yours to make and you are not entering into this lightly. Friends however, may change for you as time goes on. Start setting up your support system with those who will support you unconditionally. Beyond that, people need to accept your decision.
You are going to be tested as you grow and change, your friendships may change based on what they were to you before WLS and what continued role they may have in your changed life.
While I haven't had the surgery yet, I know I am making the best decision for myself and my children. My husband worries, but he is supportive in my decision. The weight and issues I am having necessitate this decision. I do believe if I can lose the weight, I will live longer. I also believe I will feel better and not ache as I do now. The bonus is that I will be able to wear cute clothes again.
Will it fix my emotional problems.. NO
Will it be magical and the weight will just fall off... NO
I will still need to work on my 'allowed' diet
I will still need to exercise
You have been faced with the reality that not everyone will understand your decision, but you need to do what is best for you. Continue to have the confidence in yourself and your decision. Don't let anyone's opinion rule your choices.
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