Skinny Friends becoming distant
RNY on 04/09/12
This is bothering me. I told many of my friends about my rny, both skinny and obese friends. As I have lost weight, my skinny friends have become more distant, but my bigger friends have remained close. I've been told that I am an inspriation to my overweight friends. Why are my skinny friends acting resentful. I feel like I am a threat to them now. Has this happened to anyone else? I do not brag to them about my weight loss but my accomplishment is certainly noticable. I really thought all of them were genuine friends.
Since I don't know your friends, I have no way of knowing why they are acting that way. Have you asked them?
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
It often happens the other way around, LOL. Regardless of the size of your friends, women have a tendency to become very comfortable with their preceived "role" and "rank" in a group or even sometimes in individual relationships, and anything that upsets that status quo can cause strain in the relationship. Perhaps your thin friends were comfortable with you as the "fat friend" (not to say that your weight is the primary reason they liked you, though) and are now less comfortable. Thin women can sometimes also be much less tolerant of frequent discussions of food, diet, weight loss, etc... so sometimes they pull back because they get sick of hearing about those things (and sometimes we don;t realize how much we talk about our surgery and weight loss process). Obviously I don't know you OR them... I am just basing this on the things I have encountered as a counselor, and it may not apply to your situation at all.
I agree with Kelly that you should just ask them (individually). Tell them that you feel like they are more distant and ask if there is something going on.
Lora
I agree with Kelly that you should just ask them (individually). Tell them that you feel like they are more distant and ask if there is something going on.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
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