OT: Let me tell you about my mother-in-law.

I wanted to thank all of you for the support over the last several months.

As most of the regular posters here know, my mother-in-law Lynn has been battling ovarian cancer for the better part of three years. On Tuesday, October 23^rd her long fight ended. Her husband, son, myself, and her two sisters were there with her as she took her last breath. The final two weeks of her life were so difficult that we were grateful for a peaceful passing. While we are all agonizingly sad, there is comfort in the thought that she is no longer suffering. Treating cancer is nearly as bad as the disease itself…maybe worse.

Lynn gave me the greatest gift that I will ever know. When Joe and I began dating eight years ago, she welcomed me into her life with a hearty steak dinner and a warm, southern smile. Originally from Louisville, KY, she embodied the charm of the south on top of being a successful, savvy business woman. She began her career in public policy serving on the legislative staff of U.S. Senator John Sherman Cooper from 1971 through 1973 and as Legislative Assistant to U.S. Senator Walter D. Huddleston from 1973 to 1985. Among her many honors, she was named one of the "50 Key Women in Energy" in 2002 by Commodities Now magazine. In 2008, she founded the Utility Women's Executive Forum to bring together professional women who are leaders in the electric utility industry.

For all of that success Lynn’s greatest loves were her husband and son, Roger and Joe. There was never so much love and pride beaming from an individual as there was whenever Lynn saw Joe walk into the room. Who could blame her? Joe is everything a parent could want their child to be: Smart, funny, caring, kind-hearted, generous, and hard-working.

Lynn with Roger (her husband) at our wedding rehearsal dinner in June.

When Lynn was diagnosed with cancer, we were heartbroken. We reeled at the unfairness of it. But she vowed to fight. Through surgeries and round after round of chemotherapy, she never stopped trying. Near the end she couldn’t sit up or walk anymore, but she told Joe and I one morning to distract Roger so that she could go upstairs, get dressed, and put some make-up on. That’s how hard she fought. She could barely open her eyes and still believed that at some point she would get up and go live her life. She was so fragile that the nurses believed once she was unable to eat or drink that she would leave us quickly. Not Lynn. She was without food for almost 3 weeks and withou****er for a week and a half before her body gave up.

Every day for months I have been afraid to hear the phone ring. I spent the better part of October sitting by her bedside with my husband. We’d stay up all night together so that someone could press the button on her morphine pump to relieve the nearly constant pain she had. I’d sing songs from musicals that I knew she enjoyed and hope that it was comforting to her. The combination of medications she was given gave her nightmares a lot and I kept thinking that maybe if I sang musicals, she would dream of being at some wonderful performance at the Kennedy Center. I’d talk to her and describe how Roger had kept the garden so beautiful, how I was amazed that their pink rosebushes and clematis still kept blooming throughout October.

Lynn walking in with my dad at our wedding party in July.

But mostly…I just thanked her. Over and over again, I thanked her for everything, especially trusting me with her only son. I promised that he would never be alone and would never want for love.

Lynn with Joe when he was a little boy. One of my favorite pictures.

And there he is all grown up, pinning on mom's corsage at the wedding.

The world is a better place because of Lynn. Her heroism throughout the entire ordeal inspired and strengthened me as a person. She adored being by the water, and soon we will take her ashes to Assateague Island and spread them where we know she would love to be forever…Where wild ponies run, herons fly gracefully overhead, stars fill the night sky, and the surf rolls in and out across the shore…

I love Lynn and will always be grateful for the eight years that I knew her, and the few short months where I was blessed to be her daughter-in-law.

Seeing me moments before I became her daughter-in-law.

Thanks for letting me share this with you, OH family.

(((Neen))) what a great testament to your mother-in-law.  Although the past few months have been difficult I'm sure Lynn knew you and her family were there and she went peacefully knowing you all would take care of each other.

I lost my father to cancer a year ago this past Sunday, you are right it's so hard watching them suffer and it does give a bit of peace that there will be no more.

May thoughts go out to you and the family.

Wow! Thank you for this. I know that it is helpful for you to write this and express you feelings of love and loss. But, it is apparently time for me to READ this because it touched me greatly. I had the fortune of having a wonderful, loving, supportive (not quite) mother-in-law in my first son's grandmother. However, since his father and I did not marry, our relationship became very distant. Unfortunately, my relationship with my "real" mother-in-law was horrible, as she was always jealous of my relationship with her son and was continually starting trouble and nasty. Now, my son is in a committed relationship with a lovely young lady with whom I don't naturally "click." But he loves her and she loves him and this post reminds me of how important it is to my son, his potential future wife, and my futuregrand children, that I make her feel welcome and loved. Thank you for this. And I am so sorry for your loss and your husband's and father in law's loss. It sounds like you were blessed to have her in your life and she was blessed to have you. (((HUGS)))

I always felt very grateful that Lynn and Roger both love me. They are very private people and don't talk much about feelings, so it never occurred to me that Lynn talked about me to anyone. At her memorial, so many of her colleagues came up to me and told me that they'd heard so much about me and seen so many pictures, that Lynn was so glad Joe found someone fun to be with and had a whole new, big family to enjoy. It made me feel really happy to know that.

I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing woman and now you have a guardian angel to watch over you both!! Lots of prays and hugs going out to you and you family.

What a heartfelt and touching tribute to your mother in law. Thank you for sharing this with us. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. 

You made me cry.  This was so beautifully written.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. 

So sorry for your loss, Neen.  That was a great tribute to Lynn and I'll bet she felt blessed to have you in her and her son's life.

You write beautifully ...

My condolences to you, Joe and Roger.

A lovely tribute.  You are so fortunate to have had her if only for a short time.  

How beautifully you have written about your mother-in-law and thank you for sharing your thoughts. My condolences to you and your family at this time. I lost my mother to ovarian cancer July 18, 1995 so I know how those last few weeks were for you. How wonderful that you were able to be there with her and sing to her.