OT - I'm really disturbed by this

This has nothing to do with WLS but I'm really, really disturbed and you all get to hear about it because I want to tell someone and don't know who else to tell.

I just saw that my sister posted on Facebook that she is home alone tonight because my seven year old nephew is spending the night with his grandfather - my father.  I knew she was going to his home for Thanksgiving dinner.  I have had no contact with my father for about 20 years because he was very abusive when I was growing up.  I think it's kind of odd that my sister is willing to remain in contact with him, but that's her choice and I don't tell her she shouldn't do so.

But why on earth would someone leave a seven year old child there overnight?  It's one thing if she is there too so she can supervise things.  But to leave him alone there?  I can't understand that.  I'm worried about my nephew, but also upset that my sister would be so careless.

Does she think he has changed? Maybe since she is in contact with him and you haven't seen him in so long she sees something you don't? Perhaps you should ask her why?

Not sure but I'll send a prayer up that your nephew is watched over tonight.

I assume she does think he's changed or why would she leave her child there?  Maybe she does see something I don't, but how exactly do you see whether or not a child abuser is going to abuse another child?  Why would you take that chance?

I don't know Kelly. I personally wouldn't take the chance. It's a difficult place to be in for you. I would however have the conversation with my sister.

If you think that he is in danger, call the authorities.  I think the holidays bring out our codependencies more than any time.  Your sister has a way to go individuating from the creep!  Unfortunately, without therapy we recreate what was done to us with those same abusers.  So sorry!

I called Child Protective Services when my father remarried a woman with young daughters.  They would not even investigate without some reason to think those children had been abused by him.  The fact that he had abused other children in the past apparently did not matter.  Unless I could explain why I believed those children had already been abused, they didn't care.  Of course, since I have no contact with him, I had no idea if he had abused his step daughters yet or not.  I was hoping they would intervene before more children were abused.  But apparently the system is not set up to prevent abuse, only to intervene after it has already occurred.

I have no idea how much danger he is in, but I would not leave a child with a known abuser.  But calling the authorities won't help.  plus, I don't even know the address or phone number or anything to tell the authorities.

I don't know how these systems work. What to do?  At least he has you in his life and that is a blessing!

Unfortunately, the system doesn't always work the way reasonable people would think they should.  It frustrated me something awful when I was a social worker.

When I was young, my brother and I were taken from my father for child abuse. My two step sisters stayed in the home with their step mother and my father because they were not abused by him as much as my brother and I were. They were only yelled at and not hit. Now that they have kids, they ask my father to watch them all the time. He is the go-to babysitter. They stay the night over there all the time. I guess he has changed and does not abuse their children like he did to us when we were kids. I have forgiven him and have let him meet my daughter after being assured by my brother and step sisters that he has changed, and he seems like a different person. I still would not leave my daughter with him over night though, but that is my personal preference. I am not as trusting as my step sisters are. Maybe you are more like me and your sister is more like my step sisters when it comes to this issue.

I sent my sister a message about my concern and apparently I have been un-friended on Facebook now.  Sigh.