sorta OT - a funny story

poet_kelly
on 12/11/12 8:15 pm - OH


In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food Cake."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created Cuts to the Health Care System.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

newbeginning2012
on 12/11/12 8:37 pm

Oh, so true!  Thank you for sharing this, I love starting my day off with a chuckle.  

(deactivated member)
on 12/11/12 8:59 pm

Ha ha. This was entertaining and certainly humorous! Thanks for sharing.

JanBooth
on 12/11/12 9:03 pm - KY
RNY on 09/25/12

LOL  Thanks!  Great way to start the day :)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss~
        
Dee.spunk
on 12/12/12 3:48 am - Sacramento, CA
LOL! LIKE!

Height:5'1.5 RNY:11/30/11 HW:307 SW:234 CW:136 GW:140 (LOST 73 Lbs. PRE-OP)

 


 

Dagne Tripplehorn
on 12/12/12 4:08 am - OR
RNY on 04/06/12

Too true. Thanks for the funny!

Poppygail
on 12/12/12 4:31 am - Florence, KY
RNY on 03/06/13

I love it!

swampwoman
on 12/12/12 5:47 am - Hampton, NJ
That was great. I shared it with the staff here at work.
  Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!                          
Kat Kat
on 12/12/12 10:18 am - AZ
LOL!!!! Good one
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