angry, resentful and so irritable

Im 3 weeks out on Monday and I am so angry and stressed and get so irritated just hearing kids being too noisy. My patience is gone. I feel stressed out by this new lifestyle. I knew it would be hard, i do go to counseling and i see her monday , i  just feel so altered and alone like no one around me understands. Iv always used food to soothe me and calm me and now i cant do that and I knew this was going to be like this, that is part of the "tool" to teach me how to soothe myself without food. I wouldnt trade it but i just dont even know myself. im on a period from hell, im so sensitive, my youngest son is only 8 and i feel like if he asks me questions i feel so annoyed. Im on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds,i crush them so i know thwey are absorbing, they werent at first cause they have an enteric coating  on them and i could feel myself getting the dizzy zappy feelings and now i feel fine as far as that goes. This is my new normal i know this i just feel so buried by emotions. i knwo i sound like an ungrateful b****h , there are people who would love to have this surgery, but right now i feel so bad in my head. please tell me this gets better. I feel as though im mourning food.

Yes, it does get better, but only with time, and a little patience.  Sounds like your hormones are swinging like crazy which doesn't help either.  Someday you will be able to not even think twice about your plan,& what you need to do.  Going to a therapist is an excellent plan.  Are you able to get away, take a walk, go to the gym to help you destress?  May be beneficial to both you, and your kids. 

And you do realize that you'll have estrogen literally dumping into your system as the fat cells burn away right? And that will cause mood swings from heck too?

Awww... Sweetie, you don't sound ungrateful at all. You sound overwhelmed. It sounds like things are hitting you all at once and pretty darn hard and it's understandable that you feel like a disaster because you don't have your trusty food there to soothe you. I soooo understand how you feel. It's difficult, but you have got to figure out which non-food things will help you feel better. I literally made a list of possible soothers and tried each one systematically as I needed to de-stress. I was hoping exercise or cleaning would be good stress busters, but no such luck! But, some things that do work are self talk- literally talking myself down out loud just like I would a friend. Other stuff is playing a brainless game on the computer like solitaire or ma'jong, writing in my blog,taking a hot bath, and reading a novel. Some things work well for certain emotional issues and don't work for others. Now is a great time to find those alternative methods of soothing yourself since you CANNOT turn to food. As you heal and can start eating, it will be easier to find food things you can eat to soothe yourself, but if you find the alternatives, they will become habit when you need to soothe your emotions and you won't even feel the need to go to food or you will be able to resist that urge for food more easily.

Breathe and try to relax. It's not uncommon to feel out of sorts initially. You're body has been through a lot and your on a steep learning curve trying to figure it all out.

It's not always like this......give yourself some time. In the meantime try to find methods to relax. A walk, bubble bath, a fun book to read....20-30 minutes just to focus on you.

Please call your doc for a crushable form of your anxiety and depression meds.  If they are enteric coated, they are most likely extended release, and they are definitely not meant to be crushed.  I'm wondering if your experiencing side effects from crushing these meds.  

The first few weeks are VERY difficult.  You're still healing.  If you're anything like me, I'm a mess for a few weeks after anesthesia as well.  Hang in there, it won't last forever.

I just want to say that this is NOT your new normal! All these emotions are normal after surgery but they get better. And if you can insure that your meds are working correctly, that will help too. This is a step on your journey, not the way it is going to be forever. There is a light at the end of the road. Hang in there!

Amy

Thankyou all. My meds are not ER , I switch to regular a month or 2 before surgery . If they weren't absorbing you get a horrible dizzy zippy feeling ( Paxil)

I just have alot more work to do than I thought. Gosh this goes so much deeper, I never realized I was literally eating myself to death . I took my son to 2 bday parties and they both had cake and I just left the room. There will always been these times I know, it's just so darn fresh right now.
Thankyou all so much for listening and helping me strategize

I am still pre-op for another couple of weeks, but I think I will be mourning certain foods in a sense.  I know there are substitutes and I know I can follow the plan, but I am sure there will be a sort of sadness for awhile when we are out to eat and I have to be careful (especially about sugar) when ordering.  My husband and I like Chinese buffets.  I have learned with my band experience, to order a buffet-to-go, take one trip through, then eat what I can out of the box.  I will have to  make sure that what I choose will be healthy choices, shrimp (they have nice, deveined cold shrimp so I can avoid the deep fried, and I will have to skip the sweet and sour and teriyaki choices, but there are so many good things, I think I will be able to live without the bad ones.

At home cooking, I can make that teriyaki sauce without sugar and do many substitutions which taste great, even the sweet and sour.