I need an answer quick yall!

Ok so a close friend of mine is having a birthday party tonight. I am not a big drinker, but my friends and I will usually have a huge party ever 5 or 6 months. (hey were college students lol) anyways tonight is one of those partys. I always go to them and that is the only time I ever drink. and I mean drink drink like lots of shots. I am dying to go tonight but have been talking myself in and out of it the past few days. My best friend is literally begging me to go. At the meeting before my surgery I met a girl my age who was getting the sleeve with my surgeon. We got surgery on the same day. We stay in contact and about 2 weeks ago he gave her the ok to have a glass of wine at night if she wanted. He hasnt cleared me to drink yet but thats because I havent seen him yet. Ok so yall know the question is coming. Should I go tonight? Can I have like one shot? I dont really want to go if I cant drink....Drunk people are only fun if your drinking too lol. I coulndt stand the crazyness of this party sober lol.

Unless you are cleared by your surgeon, doesn't matter who is allowed to drink on here or not.  Doing at a party when you have not had alcohol is asking for trouble.  How do you know you are not going to get sick?  Or can't function?  I was glad to have a year's worth of classes to know ahead of time about all of these things including drinking when, what and for some people, NEVER. 

You need to learn how to function in the real world now that you have had life altering surgery.  Doesn't mean you never can, but unless you were cleared and you do it anyway you may wish to hell you never did it.  Please, don't pu**** right now.  Haven't you had enough of throwing up to turn around and go through it again?????  I know you can make the right decision.  The right ones many times are the hardest ones.  Go, party on with water with MIO in it, crystal light, pour it over ice and put a paper umbrella in it!  Good Luck!!!!!!! Jane

UPDATE: As soon as I posted and read this I knew I already knew in my heart that I dont think its a good idea yet. I mean I just had surgery to have my gallbladder removed, a hernia repaired, and a fixed kink in my intestines 10 days ago. The reason I have been so apprehensive about it is because I know its probably not a good idea. I know I will have a drink and then be easily convinced to have another and another. Im a party animal what can I say lol JK, I guess I am having a hard time because I feel like I am going to be missing out on so much fun. However I told my best friend Im not going and instead I am going to work on a paper and a speech for school and then start a my greys anatomy marathon on netflilx.

In the beginning Amber, so many things are difficult.  I was young once!  I remember being a party animal myself!!!   I am sooooo proud of you for making this decision.  Of course you are having a hard time.  If any of this was easy we wouldn't always be on here asking for help.  I remember when I quit smoking 20 years ago.  It was like ok, my life is over and now because I enjoyed so many things with a cigarette in my hand.  A drink without a cigarette???? OMG you might as well have just taken me out back and put me out of my misery.  I truly felt things were no longer going to fun.  ok, that was done.  Then as the years went by drinking became secondary along with the fact I became diabetic.  THEN fast forward 16 years and I go and have WLS so now it's like, wow, hmmmmmmmmm all that's left now is sex and at 60 I am not exactly swinging from the chandeliers but it's all good!  I know you're young and there will be so many situations you and I as with others will be in situations that make it difficult to socialize without that damn piece of cake in my hand or a drink or whatever it may be.  But Amber, I look at my pics now and in the mirror and go boy! am I ever glad for the WLS !  You too will be there and this time 6 months from now we are going to be seeing a new Amber!  Again, doing some things in life are just plain hard and this is one of them.  Take care dear, I really do wish you the best!  Jane

I'm a party girl (albeit not a young one) - there will be a time when you may be able to have a drink - I do and I don't have any problems (transfer addiction).

However ... I do think you have done the right thing tonight - I'm a cheap date and at my age am not in situations which may be unsafe (like college parties) - if you decide to do this in the future, please make sure you are ALWAYS with someone that you can trust ...   I can go from sober to buzzed in a heartbeat - I would heartily suggest you test YOUR limits at home with a friend, ONCE you have got the ok from your surgeon!

I promise you, there is life after this surgery

When your Dr. Clears you - try it at home first. You have no idea what your tolerance might be like.

Just wanted to say thanks and that I appriciate all of yall so much. I get so much support and understanding on this site and it helps so much. Im still a little sad I am not going but I did finish writing a paper for school, got two loads of laundry done, cleaned out my fridge, and took a nice long shower and shaved my legs ( on a side note tons of my hair fell out in the shower and it was really freaky) I am now in my bed all snuggled up with my two bassett hounds about to watch greys anatomy. Also my fiance and I are going to do some yard work tomorrow and plant the seedlings for our fist garden and then grill out and watch the walking dead. Thats going to be way more fun than being hung over all day lol. Also I remind myself that in a few months when I do go to the next party I will finally be able to wear something cute like all my friends instead of feelings so self conciouse the whole time were all getting ready like I usually do :) hope everyone has a good night. ps Kim your a hot mama and never to old to get your party on

I'm glad you stuck with your "gut" on this. As someone else mentioned, be sure you know how alcohol will affect you post-op BEFORE you drink in public.  It varies from person to person, but generally a very small amount of alcohol usually hits us very quickly and very hard (and then fades rather quickly).  Some people become sick off of a very small amount.  Others are just fine.  A party isn't a great place to test the waters, though.

Just something else I wanted to throw out (as a counselor, it is kind of an occupational hazard, and it is also something that I feel strongly about personally (see below))... feel free to do with it whatever you wish.

If you know that you would not enjoy the party at all if you were not also drunk, how is that a fun activity? I understand that you are young, and this is NOT intended as any kind of judgment, but I think you will find that activities are actually much more enjoyable when participants can actually remember what happened and when they are interacting with people in a genuine and sober way rather than having a bunch of buzzed/drunk people interacting with other buzzed/drunk people (where no one is really in control of what they are saying). Just something to consider as you continue implementing positive, healthy changes in your life.

Also, please tell me that you drink responsibly and have someone who is a designated driver *****mains sober to drive home. I lost one of the most important people in the world to me as a result of his car being run off the road by a drunk driver, and I worked with a woman who was the one who caused a fatal accident while driving drunk (and spent a number of years in jail as a result).  No one ever thinks they will cause an accident, let alone kill someone (in their car or another), but let's face it, intoxicated people have crappy judgment.  Accidents DO happen and the effects can be devastating.

Lora

Thanks for your response I always appreciate what you have to say :) I am not really much of a drinker at all. I go to school full time and am always busy with that I have made the deans list the past two semesters in a row and have a 4.0 yay me! Anyways the reason I said I wouldnt have a fun time at the party without drinking is because  like I said my friends and I usually have one of these partys every 5 or 6 months and thats the only time I drink. I have shots and lots of mixed drinks and dance my butt off and have a great time being a little wild. Its a once in a while thing so when it does happen I have a blast. Keep in mind I can definitely have sober fun as well with the very same people. We have movie nights and board game nights and all kinds of stuff. I just didnt think it would be fun if I were sober at a party where everyone is drinking and where I normally would be drinking.I thought it would be hard and that I would tempted all night to drink and join in the fun. Drunk people not so funny when your sober lol. Also I have never drank to the point of not remember the good time I had. Also when we do have these partys I cant speak for everyone else because there are tons of people but me and my friends are the ones hosting it and never drink and drive. We stay over night at wherever the party is. My fiance is an Atlanta police officer and I defiantly know the dangers of drinking and driving and would never drive or get in a car with somebody who has been drinking :)

Also in response to everyone else I think it to would be best to try it at home first and when my surgeon clears me I think I will try just a small amount of wine and see how that goes