No Weight Loss No Surgery

No one is telling her she can't have it - they're telling her she's not ready.  You are an enabler and are less of a supporter to her than the people who advised her to seek help before a surgeon cuts her open and rearranges her for life!!!

You are 10 months out and with all due respect, have not even begun to live this life.   You are a honeymooner still in the fresh glow of losing a lot of weight.   When you get into maintenance and realise how bloody hard this life is - long term - ie, 5 years +++  you will NOT be encouraging people to roll the dice like this.

They are judging, and assuming she is not ready.  None of them know this girl.  Just because you can't lose on your pre op does not mean you aren't ready.  I never said counseling would not benefit her, but she is by no means not ready.

Their replies are nothing about her not losing weight - I never had to do a diet pre op - it's about her inability to commit to eating right and admitting that she has psychological difficulties with doing what she KNOWS she's supposed to do.   Where does that bode well for her?

They are giving the benefit of their knowledge (in Lora's case, professional) and experience (Lora = 5+ years) in an opinion from what the OP has said here.

You are doing the same - giving an opinion from your experience ... which in my opinion is limited.   YOU are the one telling her to ignore what was good constructive advice - not cool!

No one is judging her - and I was not judging you, I was giving you my opinion based on your comments and previous posts. 

At the end of the day, I have no doubt the OP will go ahead with the surgery if the surgeon will do it - hopefully she'll have taken what Lora (and others) said on board and get the counselling she probably needs to be successful long term.

I wish her nothing but success.

Lora was not the one telling her nonsense. Last time I will reply to one of your posts

Exactly what part of what I said do you consider "nonsense"?!?

Lora

Absolutely nothing.  I said you weren't the one telling her nonsense.

Oops, sorry about that... my mistake.  I somehow added a word when I read your response, so what I thought I read was saying that I was not the "only" one.  One of the drawbacks of reading posts while taking oxycodone for pain...  Again, apologies for misreading.

Lora

No problem, I always enjoy reading your posts. :)

and now u are judging me

I had that same pity party for myself, it took me way more months then is should of to lose my required 10lbs.  I sulked through Christmas pouting I couldn't eat cake.  Really cake?  I wanted cake more then I wanted to be able to sit without pain or stand for more then 10 minutes without my feet hurting, or be able to go into a store and not be embarrassed when the largest size wasn't large enough.  Seriously cake high lasts a few ******g minutes, losing weight makes you happier and healthier and able to do things you can only dream of.  I have been there done that and own the t-shirt.  The holidays are over, suck it up and lose the weight and get on with your life, you will be so happy and pleased with yourself once you do it.  We get in this I am a failure at everything mode and we can't seem to get out.  You are NOT a failure, you need to do this for you and if it means purging every single piece of food you like out of your house do it, buy protein drinks and live on them, you won't die.  Every day is not Christmas, you don't have to celebrate them all like it s a food festival.  We all know the place you are, now you have to snap out of it, no one can do this but you.  It is not easy, but YOU are worth it.  Now do it!!!