wanting to eat to medicate....

For almost the first time since my surgery i want to eat away my emotions.  Feeling my feelings are hard, especially if i feel like i just don't have handle on them.  Physically i simply can't so I've just got to feel them.  No glasses of wine, no loaves of bread or  hidden stashes of candy.  Just me, my pouch and I.  I knew i would have days like this even before surgery but when its  happening it just kinda sucks.  I don't even have head hunger, i just want escape.  Whew, i think it's time for a deep breath or 40, a cup of tea and a little house cleaning

I know, it sucks.  It might help to remember that feelings are not always reality, and also that feelings won't kill you.  They might not feel good, they might be very unpleasant to deal with, but they won't kill you and they will change in time.  You won't always feel the way you feel right now.

Deep breathing, tea, and house cleaning are good ways to deal with feelings.  I think you'll find in time that those things actually work better than eating.  It takes time to develop new habits, though.  Be gentle with yourself.

Thanks Kelly.  It's wild how I'm just so sure, in the moment, that a feeling is going to kill me!  Thanks for the support - seriously.  I think sometimes i think I'm completely unique until i come on here or listen to someone else...then I  realize I'm not  alone, its part of the process and the majority  my problems are my own mind.  Thankfully i didn't die yesterday and have survived to deal with myself another day!

Karen,

Amen, you captured exactly what I have been dealing with in the last two weeks or so and I see we are close in surgery dates.  

Kelly, great words of wisdom!  When you said"Feelings won't kill you", I actually laughed and said..Oh yeah, that is right.... they just feel crummy but they aren't real! 

Just joined a gym and I am hoping with prayer and exercise to beat this demon addiction I have to food.  I already know that any nut butter is a big NO NO for me, as are all processed carbs ie breads, crackers etc.  It is as if I have already eaten my lifetime quota and a few other peoples quota as well and my body says ... OH yeah baby, gimme more of that drug whenever I try to incorporate one of them into my diet.  

So a WHOLE new way of eating, looking at food and attitude is evolving.  I REFUSE to be fat and unhealthy any longer!

Karen, I am so glad you post!

Good luck. 

thanks!

I am still learning this....yesterday was a very confrontational day for me work wise... didn't like what happened...haven't been paid in a month so everyone walked out....while I'm upset about it, I don't think that's the answer either....I need the money and walking out won't pay my bills...I feel if I stay maybe I'll be the first to be paid....I don't know but I got home and grazed.  Mind you, it was all stuff I could have but I knew why I was doing it just couldn't stop until I physically made myself.  Granted it wasn't like before but I hated I did it.  So, today is a new day....I'll face Monday as it comes....I can't change it but by Tuesday...that's my draw the line in the sand day...so we shall see.....

Lots to do today and tomorrow....so I will focus on my to do list...and let the chips fall where they may.

Hang in there!!  All we can do is all we can do.  :)

Sherry