Below goal, new problems, need help! Long rant

I am just a year out, I reached my goal at 10 months and now am below goal with orders to gain 8-10 pounds. Body fat % is just under 18, I am 5' 5" tall and 55 years old. I weigh 112 pounds. My surgeon wants my body fat at 24%. I have been trying to gain for the last 4 weeks without success. I gain a couple of pounds and then a few days later I've lost it. I guess its just normal fluctuation. My problem is this. Recently, I started having symptoms of menopause...again. I have been taking HRT for probably 5 years. I'm hot then freezing. I have started having anxiety/panic type situations. I'm having trouble sleeping. I already take xanax as needed, and have for years d/t a high stress job. I am feeling really blah or sad and can't figure out why. I feel like I look like a very old woman and am trying to function with a bp in the 80's/40's. A few days ago, I got stopped for speeding, my first ticket ever and it devastated me. Now, I'm afraid to drive, don't want to leave the house. I am wondering if my estrogen supplement needs adjusting or if it is something else like my nutritional status. Has anyone had these kind of feelings this far out. I am even questioning my relationship with my hubby of 10 years. I have to go back to my surgeon in 8 weeks and I'm not making much headway with his goals for me. By the way, my labs were great so I can't blame it on that. Please, no judgment, I'm not sure I can handle that right now

jules

I am 55 years old, 5' 4 1/2" and currently weigh 109. I have been working at gaining (I had dropped to 99.5) since early Sept, it hasn't been easy! I think that you aren't dangerously thin, but gaining a little may be healthier for you. Personally I am happiest between 115-120. 

I think that the other feelings that you are having may be hormone related. I went quietly (no symptoms) through menopause before I had surgery in 2008 and have had no HRT so I really don't know what those changes are like. Don't panic about gaining. It is a slow process!

Martha 

I am so sorry that you are experiencing these things. I don't believe these are random feelings or occurrences. 

If you are able, I would encourage you to see the Nutritionist who can assist you in making choices that will assist you in weight gain, without being detrimental. 

Additionally,  I would encourage you to seek counseling, if possible.  I know it can seem like a cheap reply, however, counseling can be so very therapeutic.  You may want to see if there is a practice that offers individual and family counseling. 

You didn't mention a primary care physician.  If you have one who is familiar with your care, I would also see him/her.  If you don't have one, you might contact the surgeon's office and see if you can be seen sooner than 8 weeks, or if they can refer you to someone.

It seems like a lot of people to try and see, but you are so worth it.  Take care of yourself, each of the concerns that you raised can be be improved. 

Best Wishes to you.

Jules, I am mid fifties and 5' 5.5" tall .... at one year out I was weighing 111 pounds ... dropped to 110 ... at 18 months out I weighed the same ... at three years out I leveled out and maintain my weight between 123-127 pounds with 125 my best normal ... I have been at that weight and maintaining and I am 6 years and almost 3 months out now... Stress from my husband's bouts of vascular disease and my sister (RIP) recent illness had me drop back down to 119 but I am back at 125 this morning ... I had a total abdominal hysterectomy shortly before my 30th b-day ... I took Premarin for less than 3 months and was pulled off because of history prior lumpectomy with cystic breasts and a series of abnormal mammos over the years so I went through menopause eons ago way before my surgery ... I thought hot flashes were something of the past but boy was I mistaken .... I was laying flat in our hot tub the other day about to press the bell and call my daughter .... I felt that heat rising from toe to head and my heart raced for a bit and wanted to just sit up and run the cold water like FAST .... it took me as a HUGE surprise I just layed there and closed my eyes until it passed ... My BP and pulse rates went from high to normal low and I maintain there being very athletic... at one point I felt I looked like warmed over death but I knew it was just a period because while I did not like my gaunt look I felt awesome in my body ... it got better and better and I like where I am at today ... Someone commented that in my before pictures I look like the mother of my today LOL ... My labs are awesome with the docs just a week or so ago at my 6 year checkup in awe at my levels especially that of my good cholesterol ... it does get better ... and better... If not just consult with your doctor and your nutritionist .... 

Best wishes on the journey!!! Pardon any typos ... I type on the run on break and sometimes don't check ...