A tale of perspective-taking in maintenance & regain

I put this on my blog but I wanted those struggling with regain and pseudo-regain to benefit from a little lesson I learned this morning:

This morning's weight pushed me into panic-attack zone: 125.0! While for most, that'd be a great weight to see on the scale, for me, it's nearly 10lbs above my lowest. Granted, my lowest was pretty dang low, and in the back of my mind I knew it was only attainable for a hot second (116lbs). But still, that number haunts me.... Maybe an illogical part of me wishes I could get back that low, because if I could attain it once.... But to attain it, I'd have to go way low on calories and if I have half a chance at surviving this marathon training uninjured, I probably do need to consume over 1000 cal/day!

Here's where the perspective kicks in: after I got done kicking myself, having the "come to Jesus" moment, and regretting all the unaccounted-for calories (I'm talking to you, Hershey's nuggets!!), I logged the new weight on MyFitnessPal. And mentally said, ok, buckle down and get off the carbs train! Then I noticed something.... apparently I'd weighted myself 2 days ago and forgot. I was 123.4lbs. Um, I don't think I ate so poorly yesterday that I actually gained 2 lbs overnight. I would have had to consume like 6,000 calories! I went a big carb-crazed yesterday but not THAT bad! So I looked over my reports of last week, then last month, then 90 days, then 180 days, then last year.... 125 is NOT the worst I've been! In fact, last July I weighed 129lbs. I had to take a look at what was going on in my life back then. I really thought I'd regained bad, back then, but I buckled down & changed my nutrition. I was also training for my first Half-Marathon and thru that process got back down into the low 120s/high teens. Yes, sometimes when you're in the beginning of an intense change in training, the scale will bounce up a bit. 

Additionally, my tanita scale does the body fat percentage and it's consistently hovered between 17%-20% for quite a while. So I'm feeling better about this weigh-in. Yes, I have to make myself more accountable with every calorie I put in my mouth and yes I need to get a handle on the useless carbs (guava jelly, I'm talking to you!) but it's not the end of the world and it's not the end of my weight loss journey!!

First I want to say congrats to you on your amazing success, and your commitment to hold yourself accountable, and your commitment to fitness and training. That is one thing, fitness, that I wish I could be more 'better' at.  Secondly, can you ever imagine pre op that reaching 125 was attainable let alone that being not your lowest, and that being your weight with a healthy muscle mass! Super amazing! I need to work out more, thank you for the inspiration this morning!

Thanks, Miss Calla! I may be your fitness envy but you're my surgery envy!!  Cheers to us for being so awesome!

Good for you!! For me, the adjustment between year 2 and 3 was definitely the toughest. Getting used to maintenance when the honeymoon was over was hard work. At almost 5 years out it has gotten much easier for me. Sounds like you are on the right path so keep doing what you are doing. Do not ever lose focus!!

Congrats on an AMAZING journey ... you are an inspiration .... I for one CELEBRATED having to struggle up to my maintenance weight after dropping to my lowest weight and staying there for a while ... it was the picture when I got home from my panniculectomy that finally convinced me that 112 pounds was NOT where I wanted or needed to be ... and I will sabotage your thread because I just love picture sharing to post the difference....

Me at 112.5 pounds right after my panniculectomy in September of 2008 ... I never want to look like that again...

and me TODAY ... this is my journal entry on this day having gotten off the scale this morning weighing in at 124 pounds this morning ... up from a recent drop due to stress related issues... I keep my maintenance weight between 123 and 127 pounds  with 127 being my ideal weight for my 5"5.5" tall self because it is where I feel best ... and guess what? I can wear ALL the same clothing that I wore when I weighed 112 pounds.... I LOVE LOVE LOVE the look of a 5 pound bag of sugar compared to a 5 pound bag of cotton - same weight - different look....

You ARE a true inspiration ... CONGRATS on the half marathon training ... I will be tag teaming with a friend here ... I am going to run and swim and she is biking ... I cannot handle the bike for long but will keep on trying ... I AM SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU and all your accomplishments YOU ROCK!!! ... please ignore any typos ... typing on the run ...

go on, Martita, hijack away!  BTW - I've done 3 Half-Marathons in the past 6 months and am training for Marine Corps Marathon in October - - my first full 26.2 miles!!!

I have posted on and off about falling too LOW and my struggles to gain weight that I really needed. I finally figured out how to do it and ended up gaining above my former target weight. I will say that every pound that I gained was on purpose and wasn't easy to do. When I finally got to my present weight (this morning 124, but my target is 125) I had a difficult time accepting this version of myself. As much as it is healthier and I look much better, I had gotten used to my awfully underweight body. I had gotten down to 99.5 late last August/early September. 

Who would have ever thought that I would ever had to TRY to gain OR feel big at 125 wearing a comfortable size 4?? My original "OMG, could I ever reach it" weight was 140. Our brains are our own worst enemy, or at least mine is. I am hoping that I can keep these pounds on and maintain this healthier weight.

You are right that this weight loss/gain/maintain journey continues on and on.......

Martha 

Martha, I can SO relate.  I didn't get as small as you did but down to 106 lbs and although the number seemed amazing for a while, looking at myself in pictures was not a good experience.  You and I weigh about the same right now (I was 124.2 this morning) and although I keep thinking as long as I'm below 125 I'm fine I sometimes feel getting back to 119 lbs is where I want to be. 

How tall are you? My docs all have different heights for me so I finally had my daughter put a clipboard level on my head and the pencil mark on the door frame thing so I could see how tall I actually am. I am exactly 5' 4.5". Some have me at 5'5" and others me anywhere fro. 5'3.5 to 5'5.5" ENOUGH already!! Now I know  and can be happy about being smack dab in the middle of the normal range of the BMI chart. It puts me in the 4th percentile according to my age and height.

Martha 

I'm saying 5'1" (I should probably measure also, my surgeon had me at 5'2") so shorter than you by a few inches.  How did you get the percentile calculation?