I wish I could make my mother understand (long)

This is just a bit of a vent. 

So, I was on the phone with my mom today.  We live 1000 miles apart and haven't seen each other since early June.  I was telling her today how my stall had finally broken and I had lost a big chunk in a few days.  Rather than a congratz, I got a "I thought I told you to put away that scale!" (Now before all of the scale chuckers agree with her, it is MY choice to weigh every morning, I do not let that number upset me if it doesn't move and I have embraced stalls and plateaus as a part of the process.  The scale is one tool I personally like to use to help keep me on track.)

So anyway, I said to her, "Well, you told me to put it away, but that doesn't mean I'm obligated to do so."  She went on to tell me how I'm in bondage to the scale, yadda yadda."  Which my be true, but again, it's my choice.  I let her finish her rant and said back, calmly "I would have thought that losing weigh again would have incited a "congratulations", not a rebuke.  If I'm huge, you're not happy with me.  If I'm losing weight, you're not happy with me."  To which she replied, "You're being awfully defensive!!!  Awefully defensive!!!!  I guess you get that from me though."  I laughed out loud and said, "Yes, that's exactly where I get it from."  

She then went on to say, "While we were on vacation, did I not say, SEVERAL times, how good you're looking!?!?!"  I said, "yes you did and I really appreciate it."  Here's the kicker, I was 195ish while on vacation.  She proceeded to say "In fact, I didn't say it then, but I will now.  I am afraid you're going to take this too far.  I'm afraid you're going to start to look gaunt!  If you loose much more you're skin could start to look wrinkly and saggy.  You're so beautiful, I'd hate for you to start to look sickly!"  I said , "I'm still 185 pounds!  I don't think we have to worry about that just yet!"  She said, and get this, "You're 185 pounds????  I don't think you should lose much more."  I said, "I'm still at least 27 pounds overweight."  She said "So am I!!  I'm just afraid you're going to take this too far!!!"  (Seriously?????)   At this point I realized that continuing was futile and I changed the subject.   

I know many of you have had conversations like this with friends and family and could relate.   I just HAD to vent this somewhere.  Thanks for letting me do it here.

vent away....I hear this from family and friends with just about every pic I send out.  I too am 151 lbs and I dont think I look TOO thin,  but compared to where we started from I can understand some of the concerns.  They love us and want the best for us.  I hear  that if I became ill where would I draw from....hell I still have a cushion I not even in the normal BMI rating!

Well honestly for some of older ladies we do look older and gaunt.  We naturally loose fat tissue in our face as we age anyways  and you do loose it very fast with surgery for some us.  Ask a surgin who does plastics for weight loss patients. It's a toss up...wrinkles or rolls

Vent away--mothers can be a real piece of work, which is why I always hope I am not that way with my boys and work hard not to be!

I'm getting some folks starting to worry I may loose too much. Part of it is they don't see me with my clothes off.  I still have plenty of fat to lose. I also look lighter than I actually am.  A coworker guessed how much I weighed and he guessed 185. Adding the 10 lbs he took off to not offend me, we all do that right?, he was still 10lbs under. Also they don't realize how much slower I am losing now as opposed to what I have done up to now. 

What I think I see here is a typical mother who loves her daughter and is simply afraid for her.  

All mothers are a pain in the ass, including me.  Just love her and trust that she is simply doing the best she can in unfamiliar territory

Those of us who have lost our mothers would love to be in your shoes.  I actually miss my mother's nagging.  LoL

Sounds to me like she is worried.  Being 1000 miles away she can't see how you're doing herself, in person.  Mom's worry. Not too much to do about it.  You might try giving her more information - send pictures, send updates frequently. She might have enough info to back off a bit???

This is exactly the reason I delayed even telling my mother until after I had the surgery and i haven't told a lot of other family members and I don't think I will either. I don't even think people realize they are being mean and hurtful by the kinds of words they are using.