That's what I get to eavesdropping...

I am posting to you guys... likely the only group of people who will understand.  On Thanksgiving my family "Facetimed" some in laws in another state.  They are aware of my surgery.  I was self conscious about being "seen" on the screen because I knew it would be a topic of conversation and I was struck by a horrible bout of shyness (complete 180 from my usual self).  I should probably add that several of them are champions in gossip and *****iness .  The conversation, thankfully, turned out not to be so bad, polite compliments were made with gentle teasing.  It was at the end of the conversation, when we were logging off - when things got bad.  The in laws thought they were logged off, but they weren't, and their audio was still coming through.  I heard them mercilessly dissecting me... my weight, speculations about my personal issues with food, more than one "how big do you think she let herself get?".  It was so cruel.  Not that I am surprised, I have seen them do this to others for years - But even knowing that such pettiness was probably going on behind my back didn't make hearing it any easier.  They really are quite good at what they do - they can spot a vulnerability from three states away, and exploit it masterfully.  You would think their own battles with obesity, poverty and lack of education would at least make them more understanding.  I think I might send them a Ms. Fields cookie gift basket for Christmas, with extra chocolate for the diabetics.  See, I can do *****y too.

So sorry you had to hear that!! I always imagine what people talk about behind my back but I would get really upset to hear comments like that!! You should have said something to show them that you listened just to embarrass them (don't know if it would have worked but anyway...). You should be proud of taking control of your life and let people talk if they want to but as you said yourself, they don't have the strenght to make this change!! 

That is completely horrible and hurtful.  It is so much harder to hear it than to know it's going on behind your back.  I think the battles they face are making them all the more ignorant and mean.  Screw them - you can gloat when you are skinny and healthy (which they won't be)!!!!

That is just terrible! I'm sorry you had to hear that. But you know what? You're getting yourself healthy, and at the end, that's all that matters. People will always talk. Let them. It's because their jealous.

I am so sorry you had to endure that. *virtual hug* It's one thing to know it's happening and quite another to actually hear it. Least in this situation you know you did your best and you will continue being a better person then they are. I usually don't promote self superiority but in this case it's likely all you'll get unless your willing to wait because you are still losing weight.. surgery was few months ago, right? So just know their gonna be eating thier own nasty words when they see you again :p Chin up and good job taking higher ground :)

That is horrible! Did NO ONE stick up for you? I would not put myself in that position ever again! I have experienced inlaw abuse for many years. I finally put a stop to it because hubby always just said, "keep the peace".  Unfortunately I got my backbone 7 years ago when my husband and I were getting a divorce (we didn't though) but that time in my life gave me strength to tell them off and I set boundaries with them. Recently they asked me how much I weigh and I replied "why?". I don't tell them sh#&! It just gives them more to gossip about,  I would not FaceTime with them EVER! Keep good people around you, not toxic people.

Sending you good thoughts!

 

OMG, am I the only person that finds this funny?  Of course not what they were saying about you.  That was horrible, but like you said, completely expected.  They are the ones that should be mortified.  Too bad there isn't a way to send them a copy of what they said with a little note full of snarkiness, like "Oh, I love you too.  Thanks for thinking of me".  They were  just being the tools you know them to be but they got caught in their bad behavior red handed.  You have nothing to be upset about.  Their opinions are worthless as they seem to use other people's misery as t heir entertainment.  It also serves to show some of us *cough* me *cough* how what seems to be innocent gossip can really be very painful.

Don't you love technology?  I work in customer service and it isn't unusual for me to mutter something after I hang up from a particularly nasty customer, like "*****" or "idiot". In fact you hear a lot of comments in the background as other reps are hanging up.  I guess it relieves some of the stress or something.  One day I was talking to a really nice lady and when I disconnected the call, which I do by clicking on an icon on the computer and then it shows the call is gone, I muttered "What a sweetheart."  and  I heard her say "Why, thank you!"  I have no idea how she was able to still hear me after  I saw that the call was disconnected, it was some kind of glitch but it taught me a lesson that I can never assume that my comments after a call is over can't be heard.  Thank god it was a positive comment but could you imagine if it wasn't?  I would have been reported for sure.  So now I keep my comments to myself.

I will probably find it funny... eventually.  Right now I am just pissed.  I did think of a silver lining, though - I can use this as a reason to not go visit them... EVER. 

I'd be very tempted to call them and let them know I heard what they said.

I'm SO sorry that this happened to you - what a bunch of ********!!

Although all of the people in my husband's family are amazing people, I've often wondered what kinds of things they said about me when I wasn't around... mainly because they would talk about heavy people in front of me and make all kinds of comments about their weight. I'm thinking WTF, can't they see me sitting here? I know they weren't talking ABOUT me... but they were talking about the heaviness of someone not as big as me... so does it surprise them that I would be upset by it and wondering what they're saying about me when I'm not around?? Now I know they talk about me and looking GOOD because other people in the family will tell me about it... so again, it just leads me to believe that they were talking negatively about my appearance before lol

And I'm sorry... all of you people out there that "Don't care what people think about you" I envy.... I am human and I do care what people think/say about me. I mean, I do to an extent. I'm sure it's something I have to work on, but I guess I'm a little sensitive... so sure, the majority of the time... I care about what people say! I'll probably always be this way to an extent!