11yo daughter ...what to tell her?

18 days until surgery. What should I share with my daughter?  I never discuss my weight and I've told very few people about my surgery, but I'm so afraid for what to share with my daughter.

My boys were 12 and 13 when I had my surgery. I was just honest with them. I explained I was having surgery on my stomach to help me get healthier, address my diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. That it would make me lose weight while it was getting me healthier. I explained how the new stomach would work and that they may see me in a bit of pain while I heal but not to worry that it was important to be healthy again. I also explained to them that eating for me would be different afterwards and explained in layman terms the hows and whys. The first time I had the foamies they were a bit freaked and I explained to them why they happened and that it wasn't going to be the "norm". I was glad I had explained what had been done so they weren't scared the few times I got sick.

Tell her you're having surgery on your stomach and it will help you get healthier and you will also lose some weight.  Tell her how long you expect to be in the hospital and who will be taking care of her while you are gone.  If she asks if the surgery is dangerous or if you could die or something like that, tell her you have an excellent doctor who has done this surgery many times and that your doctor and the nurses at the hospital will take very good care of you.  Don't promise her nothing bad will happen because there is always that chance. 

If you haven't told many people, there is always that chance that your daughter will tell someone.  I think it's OK to tell her that you haven't told people, but it's not OK for adults to ask kids to keep secrets.  So just keep in mind, she may tell people that you haven't told.

Honesty of what you are doing is a good thing.A child will think the worst if you are not honest with them.I remember when my own mother went into the hospital when I was growing up and I had no idea why she went in.I was really freaked out.I would just explain to her that you are having a procedure to help you lose weight.You don't need to go into a lot of detail.Kids are smart.11 year olds are smarter than we think they are.I am sure you say things about yourself and your weight without even thinking anyone can hear you so I am sure she is aware you are not happy with the way you feel.Best wishes on your surgery.

I had surgery on 12/16 and my daughter is 11 year old. I told my daughter exactly what I was going to do, as in I am going to have weight loss surgery to help me live longer for you and daddy. I explained to her how many incisions that I was going to have and that I would have a drain. I told her that my surgeon has done this thousands of times and I was in very good hands. She was at the hospital with my hubby until I came out of surgery she then came in and seen me and stayed for a few hours and hubby took her to meet his mother. My surgeon came in to the room where they were preping me and my family was in there and he explained everything they were going to do to my hubby and daughter. When I came home she has been super helpful and very excited that I am on my way to healthy.

My son and daughter are 12 & 11 and I told them the truth.  I asked them to not go around telling everyone and explained to them that our family and good friends know but know everyone.  They have been great and are so excited for me becoming healthy. I am 7 weeks post op.

I hope you tell her in time that she can digest the info and get used to it.  Also help her adjust to your change in diet.  This can be a good family education time and get the whole family on a good plan with support from everyone.  

Just be honest and straight forward with her, but I would not obsess over it or share every little fear you might have. Save that for your spouse or this forum.

I had my sugery on 10/30/13.  I have 2 boys, 14 & 15 and one daughter, 17.  They were a part of it from the beginning.  I started my process in April 2013, they were aware every step.  One son had no questions or concerns, one son had tons of questions and my daughter only concerns.  I keep them updated and in the loop with what is going on with me.  We eat meals together.  Many things will change, especially in your first couple of months.  Now when there is something that I can't eat, they don't even questions, they just "get it".  It's kind of nice.  And they are all very, very supportive!!