For those post op. What were your thoughts the days before surgery ??

My thoughts were a little different from many of the replies you've received. Maybe it is because I don't have children yet or because I work in the medical field and read a ton of research before surgery, maybe a bit of both. 

I was not scared to have surgery nor was I worried about dying on the table as that is statistically very low. I was more reflective on what brought me to the point of having surgery and I focused on what my life would be like after surgery. Leading up to surgery I was anxious and terrified that something would happen that would be a barrier and prevent me from having surgery because I knew it was my lost hope of becoming who I want to be on the outside. I felt like my body was a cage that was keeping me from so many things in my life, creating barriers and stealing time and shared moments with those I love. 

As for the thought if how the hell will I do this the rest of my life, well, just like anything else I have ever achieved I knew I would take it one day at a time. The thing that has changed for me is that I am no longer a perfectionist, or an all or nothing thinker in regards to weight and food. Ok, I ate something with a few too many carbs, it is NOT the end of the world and I'll do better next time. For me, I knew I needed something drastic that did make me change the way I lived the rest of my life. I realize I'm only 5 months out, but amazing things are happening and I just passed the 100 lbs lost mark earlier this week. 

The best advice I can give you is to stay focused on the positive things. Write a list of all the reasons you want to lose weight, no matter how insignificant they may seem and reflect on those reasons. Mine ran the gamut from physical to emotional and I'm glad I made the list because it reminds me of where I was and where I never want to return. 

I wish you the very best and you will succeed at your new life, just believe it and make it happen. 

All the way into the OR, I was doubting myself and my decision, and wondered if I was really going to go through with it.  My SIL also had WLS a few weeks after me, so we both went through the approval process and prep together.  A few weeks after both of us were done, we chuckled to ourselves, wondering what we were so afraid of.  But, in the intervening time, both of us had our WTF moments.  I have an employee who has now gone through the surgery about  6 weeks ago, and she has gone through the same range of emotions.  What I can tell you, 10 months out, is that I am so glad I did this!  It gave me my life back.  I am exercising regularly, running, and have so much energy, sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. I am a little below my goal, so now I have to figure out how to stay here :)  You can do this! And you will be so happy you did, once you are done

Even with my most traumatic surgeries, like after a horrendous auto accident, I just did not worry about dying and leaving my kids or spouse without me. I had faith I'd be fine. It is eye opening to me to see how many people have anxiety over such things.  So that seems normal and I'll let the 'normal people' tell you more about that.

The piece that would give me pause is you questioning how you were going to do this for the rest of your life. That was never a consideration for me beyond I AM going to do this FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Now that doesn't mean I expect to be perfect and unfailing 365 x however many years I have left. It means that if I do make an error in judgement or fall off the wagon with exercise or whatever, that I will pick myself back up again and keep on keeping on. 

This wasn't something I did lightly or with little consideration. It wasn't an 'attempt' it was a solution for me. I had hit rock bottom and knew the only way was up from there. I am 100% committed to ME and MY success. How many more years I have on this earth, no one here knows, but I do know I gave myself the very best option for staying on this side of the grass as long as possible and LIVING my life for the first time ever.  I had a rich, wonderful tapestry of life experiences pre-op, but at not even a year out I can tell you that the experiences I have now are ultra supercharged in comparison and I am almost giddy because of it and that helps me stay on track, too. 

Come join us on the losers bench, we'll save a little seat for your (soon to be) little butt next to us! :)

Thank you for your reply.