met three local WLS ladies but two eat crap and none exercise at all-seriously

I am quite honest that I had the surgery, work out, and changed my diet.  I have now met three ladies, two had the RNY and one had the sleeve.  They eat crap and don't exercise. The one is at her goal weight two years out and told us that is proof you don't have to exercise or eliminate foods.  The others are following her. I am not going to get together with any of them again as I am looking for people in real life who are going to exercise, eat right, and follow the doctor's orders.   I may have my healthy almost totally back by Christmas. It is so worth it and I want to keep the right mind frame. I am so glad this place exists for support. What do you do to stay true to the plan?

The first two years are the easiest. Although I have always exercised and eaten well I found it much harder after the two year mark. I am sure there are people who can eat junk and still maintain, but that is not a reality for me. You are wise not to follow their mindset. 

It will definitely catch up with them - no question.  It is all about calories after 2 years out.  If you eat more calories than you burn, you will gain weight.  You don't gain it all back in a week.....it happens gradually, and then boom, you gained back 70% of your weight lost.  Seriously, so many people go back to their old eating habits and gain back every single pound they lost.  Those ladies you met are living in a fantasy world if they actually believe they can eat what they want and keep their weight off.  RNY is not a "magic" tool.  There are lots of people that don't exercise and still keep off their weight, but they have to be diligent with tracking their calories.

That is so sad. :( This is a last chance for so many people. To take this tool for granted is just heartbreaking... :(

During the first year after RNY you need to lose your weight, but once it is off, it will stay off like magic for about another year.  Then the body figures out how to absorb calories again and weight regain is like magic during the third year after surgery.  What surgery did you have and when?

I had RNY in November but I am trying to find locals and do our own support. I traveled 5 hours away for surgery as no one does it here. I was hoping to form a support group at my house and serve bariatric recipes. I am totally not inviting them though. I am open to anyone who had any surgery, but they have to be following the plan.  Right now I am not tempted, but I believe the vets and the doctors who say this time won't last forever.  I want to be a healthy, fit person.

I imagine that these ladies do not have toned bodies. I am sure they are flabby. If not I would like to know how they are not. It takes planned movement or exercise to tone up after WLS and eating healthy. I do not know about you but the driving reasons for having this surgery was wanting to be as healthy as I can while looking and feeling it. 

Sorry to say if you see these ladies in a few years and they never changed their diets they will probably be back at their starting weight and never ever understand the folly of their ways until it is too late.  Sadly RNY works almost too well the first year, so you are lulled into this false sense you are golden and you don't have to work at it anymore.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Once your body adjusts (and it will) regain can and will hit you, and sometimes hard and fast.  If you do not adjust at that very moment, 50 lbs will creep back on in the blink of an eye.  I thought I was golden until I hit 4 years and then I realized the magic beans had worn off and it was all me.  I eat 1000 calories 5 days a week and 1500 calories on the weekends, of clean, healthy, low fat food so as to maintain my weight.  If I wanted to lose weight I would have to reduce further.  I do not exercise outside of walking, but I have to pay for that in calorie reduction.  The more you move the more you can eat, it is a simple trade off, if you can make it.  The old adage of eat less and move more is correct.

What keeps me eating healthy, is the 20 years of wasted life as a miserable MO person.

A couple months before my RNY I attended a WLS support group mtg at the hospital. I saw a woman eating a McDonald's meal---quarter pounder, fries dipped in tartar sauce and a dessert and a large soda. I thought it was a little rude for someone's guest support person to eat like that at a support meeting (my wrong assumption****il she introduced herself as 6 MONTHS POST OP. My jaw hit the floor, and I know I expressed something on my face akin to shock.

I was floored!

Messages like this I need.  A tiny piece of me wants to follow, too.  A bigger piece of me knows better.  Daily reinforcement.  Forward.