question for those that don't tell people about having WLS
I'm going to get a lot of flak for this but I think it's typically rooted in embarrassment and shame.
Maybe for some but not for me! I was so tired of hearing people that I told that I was going to have the surgery say " you don't need it", " just exercise and watch what you eat", "you are not big enough for WLS". No shame or embarrassment on my part at all. In fact I am quick to tell those that know that I have had the surgery that this was "a health decision" more than anything.
For me it has nothing to do with shame. I just don't think it is everyone's business. I have had three other surgeries that I don't advertise either. The details of my weight loss have been shared with those closest to me. If someone I didn't know well asked me, I may give a half answer as Kelly pointed out or just no answer. That has not happened yet. I am just not in the habit of sharing personal medical details with people I don't know.
I'm going to get a lot of flak for this but I think it's typically rooted in embarrassment and shame.
I agree -partly, but the are people that feel MO people shouldn't have WLS insurance coverage, since you did that to yourself (don't get me started on this one) I was a lap band patient I told my sister only asked her not to say anything, when people would say how I lost the weight her answer was "I would never have done that to my body, never" she basically told told them-but she is 300+lbs. I got sooo much grief for getting wls oh my gosh there was NO WAY I would tell anyone (except my daughter) about my revision to DS, no way!!!! I was so sick of explaining myself every single time and then everyone is an WLS expert. plus there is an incredible amount of MO discrimination, my employer doesn't have anyone who is MO working there, not one, I was hired after I lost all my weight so no one knew. I think it is a very personal decision, I mean I didn't tell anyone at work I had a thyroidectomy either. plus being "thin" I have heard my coworkers talk about "fat people" just my 3cents
For me it is a personal choice. I don't feel like I need to disclose the fact that I have had weight loss surgery to my co workers and random people that I know. Why is that their business? I am working with my doctor and dietician on a low carb high protein diet combined with with physical activity. I simply don't feel that I need to disclose that I also had WLS.
that being said I have told everyone close to me. Best friends, cousins, siblings etc. it's not a secret. They know and and ask me questions about the surgery and how I am doing.
again, for me it is just a personal choice.
I agree that you don't need to disclose it. But you don't need to disclose that you're on a low carb, high protein diet, either. So why disclose that part of it but not the surgery part? Why not just say "I don't want to disclose that?"
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
Please understand I am not saying you are wrong for saying what you choose to say. But can you explain a little about why it seems harsh and defensive to you to say " I don't want to disclose that?" Or "I prefer not to talk about it" or something like that.
I get the idea that many people feel uncomfortable setting boundaries. That they feel like if someone asks a question, they are somehow obligated to answer or that it is rude to decline to answer. I wonder if women are more likely to feel that way than men? I think it is OK to tell someone that I don't want to answer a question, especially if it really is none of their business.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
Kelly, for me personally if someone is remarking on how much weight I have lost or saying that I look great and then ask " what are you doing?" Or "how did you lose it?" For me personally I would consider it strange if someone replied " I don't want to disclose it" or " I don't want to talk about it". Again, that is just my own personal opinion.
on another note, given your original question more thought. I have found that a LOT of my family and friends think that WLS is this quick and easy thing. You have surgery and the weight somehow magically falls off. We all know that's simply not true. This journey takes a ton of hard work and commitment. Simply saying that I have had WLS to me is only a small fraction of the story. How and why I am losing the weight only started with the WLS but even with the surgery without low carb, high protein diet and commitment to exercise I would not be successful. Do I wanna go into detail and explain all of that to a coworker or random person? No.
