Surgery Fixed my Tummy, but it Didn't Fix My Head. 5 years post-op. 235 lost 60 regained.

I had surgery 5 years ago. I lost 235 pounds. I found out I was pregnant on my first surgery anniversary! I had a beautiful baby boy in addition to the beautiful little girl I already had. I met a great man! Got married! Switched careers! And a ton of other things!

I've been busy living my awesome new life! But - in the midst of it all - I kind of lost my way. I got into the habit of grazing to maintain enough calories for my baby. He was healthy and is amazing! I went back to sugar and carbs and whatever my heart desired. Off and on I'd get back on track. I'd get off track. I've been YoYoing for the past 3 years. Ive binged and purged. I've just binged. I've weighed daily. I've avoided the scale for months.

I am my own worst enemy. 5 years out I'm up 60 pounds. At one point I was up 70 pounds. I'm working with a therapist, a nutritionist, two personal trainers, a health coach and my doctors to get back on track.  I have had to do a lot of soul-searching and working through things. But I'm not ready for one minute to go back to where I came from!

I kind of thought that my surgery was a thing of the past. That I no longer was a bariatric patient. That after so many years post-op that the rules no longer apply. It isn't true. They always apply. It's for life.

And this process is very psychological. It doesn't fix your head. My pouch is still 3 oz, but I sabotaged myself to a 60 pound regain with a 3 oz pouch.

I wrote a blog and posted pics to remind myself of where I've come from and where I've been and where I am and where I want to be.

Just wanted to thank you for the reminder! I'm about to revise from vsg to RNY. And you're right its so mental and emotional and I don't think anyone gets it til they go through it. You look amazing by the way! Congratulations on your new baby and life!!

Thank you! And good luck to you!

I had RNY about 5 1/2 years ago.  Maintenance is NOT easy.  I had a back injury last year and was down for awhile.  I gained 7 pounds.  It doesn't sound like much but I'm really having problems getting that 7# off.  I'm keeping a food diary and doing well with that.  I need to exercise and I just don't want to.

I had a endoscopy earlier this year by my bariatric surgeon and my pouch is normal.  I just wanted to support you and say you aren't alone in trying to lose and get back at goal weight.

Best wishes on your journey.

Penny

Your pictures are beautiful, congrats on losing 235 lbs...that is amazing.  It's great that you're working with a therapist, I wish you the best of luck.  This place is a great support system. 

Thank you very much! It is a great support system! I posted here a lot pre-op and immediately post-op. I'm learning now that support is more important than I ever thought!

Great post!!! Sounds like you are on top of things. Keep up the great work! 

It is hard. I am almost a year out and have noticed how easy it would be to do all the wrong things. I wish you well. I thought it took 3 weeks to make a habit but when it comes to eating, I still battle things a year out.

Good Luck, I know I am not normal and never want to be ever again.