What would you say?

I've lost 25 pounds in 6 weeks. Pre surgery I would be thrilled with that. Post surgery I'm disappointed. 12 pounds was in my two week preop liquid diet. Now I've lost 13 more in 4 weeks. That's still good but I want to be one of those people where weight just melts off. Anyways, lots of people around me are noticing the weight loss so that's nice. But I really find it invasive that everyone says "how much have you lost?" Do I really have to tell them? Their face always seems a little shocked when I say 25 pounds. I'm sure they're thinking "dang that's a lot of weight and you still have a lot to go." Anyone have experience with how to answer that question? 

The easy answer is NO!

I'm fairly open about sharing my surgery, but one thing I do not share is how much I have lost - I just don't want to (I mean I share it here, but the only person is my life I'd told how much I've lost is my mom).

When people ask me directly how much I've lost I typically just say something like "Oh, a lot, I've been working hard!" and then move the conversation on quickly. Once or twice I've had people really press and I've had to say, "I'm not comfortable sharing that," but most people get the hint...

The honest answer was I never weighed unless I was at the doctors or I knew I was down.  So most of the time I had no idea exactly how much I lost, which is what I would say, I can't obsess over the scale thats what got me fat in the first place.  No one really asked me and once I reached 100lbs lost I would say over 100lbs.  Now that is is 150lbs I will say I weigh half as much as I started.  Most people don't know I had wls anymore so no one says anything but its been nearly 10 years now of normal weight.

Well....I am by no means a "vet" but I am 7 months post op and have had my share of fluctuations and discouraging times and uncomfortable conversations...so first off, I would like to share with you something you may have already read or come across but there are "stalls" at certain periods during the post op phases...these are your body trying to catch up.  The amount of weight lost has so many factors, most importantly your fluid and protein intake.  Keep tabs on those very closely.  I also noticed that if I wasn't advancing my calories like I was supposed to (they were too little) it was like my body was reserving all it had and would not lose until I bumped up.  (I do not mean anything outrageous)

When it comes to uncomfortable questions, people's opinions, and judgements - those have their ups an downs as well.  You don't have to say anything to anyone.  You can say you aren't sure exactly how much or you can say you have lost a lot or a little or whatever, but know and acknowledge it is a journey and you are on the path.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  25 lbs is a lot in a short time period!  That is about 4+ lbs per wk!  That is actually pretty rapid weight loss.  You need to focus on the goal and the purpose for your journey.  Soon, you will be hearing the other side of things like "are you still losing?" "you shouldn't lose anymore" "you are getting too skinny" and so on and so forth.  Do what you and your doctor and your dietician have in your plan and that is that.

Stay positive!  I am proud of you!  Trust me, time will fly and clothes shopping will be in your future and you will realize how much weight is lifted off of you!  I had an epiphany when I picked up a 25 lb box of cat litter and struggled with how heavy it was and realized THAT was how much I had lost at the time!  It is a huge accomplishment!

The speed at which you lose depends on how heavy you are.  Someone with an extra 200 pounds will lose weight faster than someone with an extra 100 pounds; however, the percentages are usually close.  I don't know on what end of the spectrum you are (and I'm not asking) but I assure you that 3+ pounds per week is still "melting away."

You don't have to answer any question you don't want to answer; however, I would challenge you to not assume what people are thinking, much less be "sure" of it.  People are curious - some would say nosey - but I bet if they care enough to ask, they're happy for you.

Nope, you sure don't have to tell them. You could always break it down into percentages. For example, "17% of my body weight!"

People are going to treat you how you teach them to treat you, so start setting up your boundaries. If they cross those boundaries, let them know. You are under no obligation to tell anyone anything if you don't want to.

I doubt people are looking at you thinking how much more weight you still have to lose. They might be thinking you are losing at a good clip and thinking they'd like to do the same. Or maybe their hemorrhoids are acting up

I was straight out with folks if they asked. It didn't bother me at all. There will come a time when people will stop asking. Right now it is new to them and they are curious. You could always redirect the conversation. They ask about your weight, you give a vague answer, then say something like, "Oh hey, did I hear you got a new puppy/car/computer?"

There is also the direct approach: tell 'em it's not anything you'll be discussing with them.

Of course you don't have to tell people how much you weigh.

When people asked me that question, I usually said "A lot" and left it at that.

You could say "I prefer not to answer that."  You could say "That's a pretty personal question!"  You could say "I don't know, haven't been on the scale in a while."  You could say "I'm not telling!"  You could say "My doctor says I'm making good progress."  You could say "I prefer not to focus on the numbers but on how much healthier I'm getting."

Thank you for noticing I'm making some healthy changes. I'm focused on how I feel not the scale numbers and I feel awesome... then a quick How are you? How's the kids? What's new with you? Unless they are pudding heads LOL that should do it. 

Good answer!

Practice what you will say and be prepared to repeat it when pressured.  Here's a possible reply:   "My medical team prefers to keep track of numbers for me so I can focus on more important things like exercise."  Followed quickly with a question about their lives--"so how are things going for you these days?"