Extremely frustrated

Heh, he generally doesn't micromanage me, but he does have micromanagement tendencies that I could see him springing up on me (in the manner that they have!). I agree, I need to set harder boundaries - I share everything with him and maybe I need to not let him in as much. 

Is this the first time your husband has been so controlling?  Or is this part of a pattern of behavior in the relationship?  

IMO, there is definitely something below the surface for him.  If this is the first time he has acted this way toward you, if it is not like him, then I would suggest something like, "I love you, and I do not like us having this conflict. What's going on?"

If this represents a pattern in the relationship, or if his response to the above is just more criticism, then I believe it is important for you to tell yourself that this is about him, not about you.  He has some kind of hole inside himself that he is trying to fill through you.  

If/when he shoots out little darts at you, do your best not to pick them up.  Let them fall off you.  Continue in confidence in your goodness and effort...not just in weight loss but in all you are doing.  Do your best not to engage in the conflict he starts. Think in advance of a couple of things you could say to deflect, not engage, like moving quickly to another subject, or leaving the room if necessary (use the bathroom!).

If it is a pattern, then it would be good to seek counseling.  I am not saying as a couple, but for yourself.

i say this as someone with a lovely husband *****ally has control issues, especially when he is under stress.  He came from an alcoholic home, and I believe he is trying to control the chaos and fear that still plague him.  

It's really not a pattern. He has had some controlling behavior in the past, mostly around my weight honestly, but I have always just shoved him off. I'm an extremely independent person who will certainly ask for help if I need it, but at the same time, I prefer to do most things on my own. 

I grew up in a really controlling environment, especially about my weight (my father was fond of saying that I was horribly fat, etc when I wasn't, because he actually was...) and I have a particular distaste for my husband attempting the same sort of pattern. 

Thanks for your derailment advice - I honestly have found that the most useful. I don't think there's really some deep dark problem in our marriage, and I don't really even think he's that broken up about my weight loss and his lack of weight loss, he's just picking something to control because he doesn't like change. 

It sounds like you understand things so well.  I was obviously writing from having to work through things in my own marriage...and feeling protective of you, I guess!.  I think it is true that people, some more than others, look for things to control when they feel uncomfortable, and change makes some people uncomfortable.

 I saw the pics you posted.  Look how far you have come!  Best to you.

Aw thank you. I really appreciate y'all being protective of me. I don't think he's a bad guy and he cares about me a lot, it's just frustrating. I'm glad I have a safe place to vent. :) 

It's really not a pattern. He has had some controlling behavior in the past, mostly around my weight honestly, but I have always just shoved him off. I'm an extremely independent person who will certainly ask for help if I need it, but at the same time, I prefer to do most things on my own. 

I grew up in a really controlling environment, especially about my weight (my father was fond of saying that I was horribly fat, etc when I wasn't, because he actually was...) and I have a particular distaste for my husband attempting the same sort of pattern. 

Thanks for your derailment advice - I honestly have found that the most useful. I don't think there's really some deep dark problem in our marriage, and I don't really even think he's that broken up about my weight loss and his lack of weight loss, he's just picking something to control because he doesn't like change. 

if your marriage is as strong as you say it is, then there should be no problem with you sitting him down and laying out everything you have said here. 

If your marriage is as strong as you say it is, he should be able to realize that you don't need " food police" managing your life. Even if you have had trouble with food issues in the past.it helps not token bringing that back on you. He need to let the past go and allow you to do this. 

You sound like a capable person who is perfectly able to manage this. It is not rocket science. 

If he can't see to reason,I would buy my own fit bit scale and clear the data after every time I weighed. 

Honestly,I see this becoming something he gets in the habit of,three or four times a month? Please,that is nearly once a week,or continually. Do you really want to live this way. I totally would not. I told my DH this is my. Journey,with my own mistakes to make and correct and myown. Learning to do. No on else can or should do it for us.

and honestly,your post title pretty much says more than anything  else you have said I this whole thread. Fix it now,before it DOES become a problem.

That really sucks! I want to tell him "It's none of your business". This is YOUR surgery, YOUR health, YOUR life. Even though you share a life together you are still an individual and you deserve to do this for YOU and not for him. I think he is putting waaaay too much pressure on you and that will obviously backfire! Love and Support...not Pressure and Harrassment. You should maybe ask him the question, "...and what if I am not taking it seriously?" " ...and what if I DONT get to my goal weight" "...and what if I DO regain some weight later on?" That doesnt make you a bad person in any way. You are still loveable and worth it. It's not fair. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. It sounds like you are doing a GREAT JOB!!! I don't think you need to prove anything to him. Keep up the good work!

My answer isn't textbook quality but I'd calmy repeat as many times as it takes, "you're bugging me, knock it off."

The best part of simple advice is it's usually the best advice. ;) 

Thank you

I just found out that TODAY on the Dr. Phil show is about a spouse who is bothering his wife about losing weight! I saw the commercial for it and I thought of this post right away! Set your DVR and maybe you can watch it with your husband. It could help him to understand.