Advice, please: Good lines to use in social situation tonight if my weight comes up?

Hello, OH friends!  Here is a version of a common topic:  when and how to tell about surgery, but with my own twist. 

Tonight I am hosting my neighborhood book group.  This is a group of women that includes several who have known each other for almost 20 years, including me--and yes, that is a long time!  There are also about 5 younger women, who have moved in in the past 1-4 years. 

I am expecting that my weight will come up.  I have now lost enough that people have started to comment on it.  I only told a couple of friends about it in advance, because I wanted only positive energy going in to surgery.  It has never been my intent to hide what I have done, but I have wanted to tell on my terms.  I am kind of a private person and don't like being the center of attention, although I do love being with people, and I love these women.

Anyhow, I have often imagined how I would share the news of my surgery one-on-one.  But this morning I realized this will likely come up in a group setting--in THIS group setting, tonight!  Can anyone suggest some good lines I can use to be honest, but deflect things until I can speak with people privately?  Or should I even be concerned about that?  Should I maybe use this opportunity to tell people? I like all of these women--kind hearted every one.  But some of them I do not know very well, and some I know SOOO well, that I don't want to share this info in this setting.  Example,  one of my friends who will be there is a notorious story teller.  To her, the story is everything when she has one to tell, no matter what the fallout.  I love her, and I love her stories, but if she knows about my surgery, this entire swath of town will know within a day, and they will know her version of it.  Maybe I want to control things too much.

Thoughts?  Thanks!

I hear your difficulty, I had the same thing with both my church group of women and the parents and other tutors - I tutor at a center one day a week.  The church group I did tell before surgery some individually and then realized I needed to tell some of them as a group. I always preface it with this is very private, but I do want to share this with you... or something like that so they know I don't want it to be a topic of conversation. With the parents and other tutors it has been subtle because I had the surgery over the summer. I have told a few people, again always with a preface...as I don't want to lie. If we are in a group, and don't want to share, I usually just say "thank you, working hard "or  something and try to change the subject. When people have asked me how much I've lost, if it is someone I don't want to tell,(that part I tell very few, don't need them doing the math)  I just say, "I've made a decision not to share the number, maybe I will when I reach a milestone or something"... When I do tell about the surgery I say something along the lines of "I was doing what I was supposed to do and my body wasn't cooperating and I just felt I needed to do something for my health. So now I can put the diet and exercise in and actually get results" ... So they don't think it is magic... I am still changing my eating and exercising. It is hard. having some set phrases in your head I do find helps.

Thanks for those ideas of what to say.  That is just what I needed--ideas for planned phrases.  Happily for me, the topic did not even come up!  I took that to mean that (a) I am more self-conscious than I should be, and (b) I have not lost THAT much weight, and (c) maybe my friends just love me for who I am, and are not focusing on how I look.  That (c) was my favorite thought. 

I am certain it will come up, though, as it has with other people, and I do appreciate your examples of what you have said.

Just tell them, if asked, that you are paying attention to you weight and becoming healthier. And that is not a lie, just not a whole truth.  You owe them nothing.

Yes, that is a good thing in a group, to get things to move on to something else!  Thanks for the reminder that I can keep my privacy.  Still, I feel I probably do need to follow up with some of these friends privately.  But I can do that on my schedule, and only with those I want to.

 If you are asked I would just tell them if you feel you are comfortable. I think when I told everyone it felt so much better. No worrying if someone was going to find out and be mad at me for not telling them. 

They are going to talk about your weight loss even if you don't tell them.

I am glad to know you felt better and stopped worrying!  I am getting to that point where I am feeling like I have a secret and I need to tell some people.

This might be too late but maybe you could call a couple of your friends before the group gets together and tell them. Enlist their help that when the subject comes up you can say that you are trying to eat healthier like the previous post suggested and they can help you steer the conversation in another direction.

This was not too late!  It was great advice!

It seemed like there was a strong interest in HOW MUCH weight lost.  I regret feeding that strong curiosity that has nothing to do with care, concern, or kind heartedness and more like calculating in their head my highest weight.  (I guess living for today and looking forward to tomorrow has me not wanting to talk about yesterday as much)  The best advice I've read is to divert the questions by asking questions in return directed toward the other person. Question:  "Pokeman, how much weight have you lost so far?"  "The doctor wants me to focus more on new habits instead of numbers, does that make sense?" You get the idea.  Let us know how it went, ok?