Mind games

on 2/6/18 6:22 pm

I have had trouble with mind games before, am I really hungry? No, just bored, go for a walk instead. But the biggest mind game I'm having trouble with is looking in the mirror. When I look in the mirror I see the 265 pound Lisha. Not the 175 pound Lisha. The clothing size have obviously changed but it doesn't change who I see in the mirror. Anyone else have this problem? How do you overcome it?

Highest weight: 265, surgery weight: 245, surgery date: 9/11/17 RNY m1: - 26 m2: - 14 m3: -15 m4: -10 m5: -8 m6: - 4 m7: -6.5 m8: - 1.5 m9: -3 m10: - 0 m11: - 2 m12: -0

on 2/6/18 7:31 pm, edited 2/6/18 11:31 am - Canada
RNY on 06/02/17

Does your WL program offer counselling? I know that at mine we get appointments with social workers and pyschologists. That may be the best bet for you, someone professional that you can discuss this with and maybe they have ideas that can help you with this.

I can't imagine how difficult this must be. Seeing the new me in the mirror is one of the things that makes me happiest. I hope that one day soon you can recognize the new healthier you too!

Surgery Jun.2/17 at TWH ----- HW 215 - SW 197.2 - GW 125 CW 124.6

Pre-Op=8.8lbs --- Optifast= 8.4 (was on it for 9 days due to cancellation)

M1 - 20.6... M2 -10.2... M3 -8.0... M4 -5.8... M5 -9.0... M6 -5.2... M7 -7.0... M8 -2.2... M9 -0.9... M10 -2.6... M11-0.6... M12-2.0


on 2/6/18 8:21 pm

Unfortunately they don't offer counseling, I try to talk to my husband about it but he just blows me off and tells me that I'm beautiful now just as I was then

Highest weight: 265, surgery weight: 245, surgery date: 9/11/17 RNY m1: - 26 m2: - 14 m3: -15 m4: -10 m5: -8 m6: - 4 m7: -6.5 m8: - 1.5 m9: -3 m10: - 0 m11: - 2 m12: -0

Insert Fitness
on 2/7/18 3:42 am

it can take the brain a while to catch up with our body. A few suggestions from the behaviorist at my clinic:

  • take a lot of photos, and compare them to your before. Ideally, she said to take them in the same place, to give your brain a reference point.
  • Blocking your head out of the pics helps too. Your brain processes it a bit more objectively
  • take measurements.
  • she also suggested getting butcher paper, rolling it out on the floor and having someone draw your outline.

and another I've found helpful for me, is to find people at a similar height/weight as I currently am. I really need this one as I started having moments of:

"sure you're not as big as you were, but you're still really big"

or more often now, is family and friends calling me tiny, and need to stop losing weight.

the reality is, I'm normal looking.

These moments come and go. I can literally be at the same event and worry that someone won't recognize me, while also worried they won't notice I've lost weight.

thankfully, the majority of the time I'm not thinking of either, and just living in the moment, but they do happen.

Brains are weird.

RNY Sept 8, 2016

M1:23, M2 :18, M3 :11, M4 :19, M5: 13, M6: 12, M7: 17, M8: 11, M9: 11.5, M10: 13, M11: 10, M12: 10 M13 : 7.6, M14: 6.9, M15: 6.7


on 2/7/18 8:33 am

I do take monthly photos and wear the same clothes and I can see the difference in the pictures. Just not in the mirror. My family hasn't seen me since right after my surgery so when they finally do see me it will be a shock. My husband did make a comment about not wanting me to lose any more weight, then I mentioned I still am large and he got upset. I did the surgery to become healthy not to become a super model.

Highest weight: 265, surgery weight: 245, surgery date: 9/11/17 RNY m1: - 26 m2: - 14 m3: -15 m4: -10 m5: -8 m6: - 4 m7: -6.5 m8: - 1.5 m9: -3 m10: - 0 m11: - 2 m12: -0

H.A.L.A B.
on 2/7/18 5:08 am

It took time. A couple of years for me. What you describe is also known as body dismorphia.

This is very common for people post op WLS. We lose weight very rapidly and our mind may have a problem with catching up.

When I was MO - I really did not see myself "that big" unless on photos. The photos were mind bugging.

I used same technique after - taking pictures of me, specially with company of "normal size" people. Comparison may not be great, but seeing myself beside someone who I consider normal-skinny allowed me to judge if I am still MO or closer to normal size. Putting that picture in places I need to look at every day allowed to change the internal mental image of me from MO to normal. It took time.

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."