My Feeling Lately (Long Post)

Hi sweetie, I don't know yet what the afterwards is like, with blessings I know one day I will. But I do have hanging skin, which I've had forever, not as bad as someone that has lost has much weight but one that has not tone any muscle in forever. My heart goes out to you hon, and I know that is plays on your mind, and the pain that you must feel. You had once told us that you look in the mirror and at the pics and you see the large frame of person instead of the small frame that you are. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. With a big ole hug, hon you are  so beautiful inside and out, Maybe you'll be able to get the approval alittle faster than usual.  Graphics for Friends Comments Hugs Barb

Hi Sheila. Like others, I am happy you posted this so that everyone knows that there are stil struggles even after you lose the excess weight. Like Melinda said, being obese never goes away (like being an alcoholic never goes away).  We are always going to struggle with every pound lost or gained. The maintenance stage is very scary! I didn't realize it myself. I thought I would be so happy to finally get there but then it becomes the worst part because you feel like you can't eat bad at all. When you are still losing a little weight because of the surgery and you sneak a little bad food, oh well. You will lose it and your body will make sure it will lose it. But once you are primarily done losing and in the maintnenace phase, you have to think twice about eating bad because you know you alone are going to have to work it off. Your body is done losing on its own. It is a very hard concept to adapt too. I think the best thing you can do is realize how far you have come. This really is a lifestyle change and you definatley made that change. You know how to eat now and you have accomplished enough to know how to maintain. It is all about a healthy lifestyle and you have that. Don't ever doubt yourself and how much you have learned and accomplished. You have a great support system around you are you will do just fine.  I am right along with you with the excess skin. I know the finicial burden it is going ot cause my family is going to be hard for me to expect but I know how hard I have worked to lose weight and be healthy and I deserve to look like a "normal" person my weight. I really want to have the excess skin remove more than anything. I feel like it would complete my transformation. I really need to see the results of my hard work and yes, being smaller and more healthier is results but when I see all the hanging skin, I still feel big. I don't know why. But I do. I guess it is mental. Not much I can offer you with not feeling that way since I still feel that way. All i can say is you are not alone and we can get through it together. Talk to you soon!

I have been mulling this over in my mind, and think its worthy to be said.  As obese, we also have given up our own self wills for everyone else's happiness...  Misty said it that it would be a financial burden on her familiy...  as it has been for most of us just to have wls... a strain on our pocket books...  but we have given up our rights to be happy, to be selfish...  and now that we are taking better care of ourselves, and seeing that are are worthy to have nice things, treated kindly by others, and won't stand to be treated poorly anymore, there comes a whole other psychological aspect that we never thought of...  how NOT to feel guilty for treating ourselves good...   And when you have the wls, or have plastics, some people might look at you and even SAY, "But why can't you just...  (fill in the blank...) "  Or, "that's a bit selfish, don't you think?"  All those years of mistreating our bodies...  if we had done it right all along, we wouldn't be in this mess.  Truth is, we didn't do it right.  We didn't exercise right, we didn't eat right, we didn't have healthy perspectives...  but now all of that is changing.  Exciting! Yet hey oh so scary! Now I just see it as "I deserve to treat myself kind.  I deserve to look great.  I deserve to feel great about myself."  I had too many years which obesity stole those things from me.  I am ready to take them back.  How about you?  Are you ready to take it back?  I think you are!

You are soo right (as usual). As a bigger person, we just gave up our own happiness for others. Some because we didn't feel worthy and some because that is what we thought we had to do to get people to like us. Now, after this lifestyle change, we know we deserve better in life and we should be able to do and get the best things we can for ourselves. Not that we are selfish but it is as much as our right as others to treat ourselves and be treated like we deserve and anyone else deserves. I think that is why WLS people tend to lose family and freinds because people think we start acting differently or selfishly. But in reality, the people who think this are the people who took advantage of us as bigger people and now that we are not letting people take advantage of us, we are thought of as selfish or with an "attitude". It is just not true. I am a much stronger person now *****alizes she deserves the best in life and has worked hard for everything she has gotten and if someone else doesn't like it because I stopped letting others take advantage of me - so be it. I like to think of myself as a nice freindly person who would do anything for anyone. But I also now treat myself the  same way because if others deserve it - so do  - for once in my life!!! Ok, enough of the rant! See what you got started - the evil hormones!! Luckily, I have a great husband who I spoiled all of our relationship (I think out of guilt from being overweight) and now he knows it is my turn to be spoiled. He is actually happy that I started treating myself better and doing more things for myself. He always told me too but I never felt worthy to do anything for myself and now I do. And he is a great support of that.

All I can say is WOW.  Sometimes when you are going thur things you think that you are the only one going thur them.   That is the one thing I have gotten from this support group.  We are all going thu them.   I look at the fact that I have lost over one hundred pounds, but  still so far to go and know that I am going to have to have plastic to finish my journey.  I love the fact that you posted this, it makes us all think.  I also like what Melinda had to say, sometimes we post and get nothing in return, it doesn't mean that we don't care, it just means it made us think about ourself.   Girl, I love you more than you know and admire your courage and stength.  Praying for you while you are going thur this.  Melissa

My son asked me the other day if I now feel like I have completed what I set out to do when I first decided to have WLS. All of my kids have been very supportive but this showed me that my son really doesn't quite "get it".  Have I completed my journey now that I have been on maintenance for several months and had plastics? No! There is no end to this journey. As Melinda said, I will forever be in recovery for my food addiction. I will forever have to be very concious of what I eat. The nutritional value as well as the caloric impact. The difference now is that I can look in the mirror and like what I see and feel like I am worth the effort to eat for my health. I know it will be several months before I will be able to fully appreciate the changes brought about by the plastics. For now though, the change is so dramatic that I am happy with what I see. I think we have all run into those people who think we have WLS for vanity. They don't understand that we do it for health reasons.  I have also run into WLS patients who look at plastics as vanity. They don't realise that many of us have plastics for health reasons. Sometimes it is just the mental health aspect. When you get compliments on your appearance and have people tell you "Oh, you don't have much extra skin at all. You look good." But you look in the mirror and see all of the skin you are able to hide with clothing. I'm excited for you as you begin the journey to plastics. I know you are going to feel so much better after this major leg of the journey. Know that we are here to help you along this path too.

Hey Shelia, Here is a man's point of view.  I know what you are saying.  We have lost the weight and we look good in our clothes.  Then the clothes come off and we see the hanging skin.  For me I still saw myself as fat.  My family couldnt understand at first why I wanted to have plastic surgery.  The point is when I looked in the mirror I still saw fat, fat from the hanging skin around my waist and  in my face. I could hide the hanging around my waist but not in my face.  I saw it everyday still hanging and bulging on my face.  Everyone said they didn't see it, but what mattered was I could see it.  This journey we are on is not an easy one.  It is a life change that goes on for the rest of out life.  I think we all have the fear  in our mind that we might gain it back.  I know for me that since having the plastic surgery, I worry even more about gaining it back.  The last thing I want to do, just like everybody else, is gain it back .  Plastic surgery is an expensive process to go through.  I have had a couple of people say I can't beleive you spent that kind of money on that.  It is no ones business but your own what you spend on your body.  But one thing everybody should know, just because you have plastic surgery YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE A PERFECT BODY!!!!!  There is still going to be "this" area or  "that" area you want to have something done on.  We just have to learn to live with some of it, or at least I do....lol!!  The important thing is we have improved our health and life.  With the support of this board, we can all make it through anything. Mike