Things I have learned living in VA

Things I have learned living in Virginia: 1. A Possum is a flat  animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. 2."Onced" and "Twiced" are words. 3. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy. 4. "Jaw-P" means "Did ya'll go to the bathroom?" 5. People actually grow AND eat okra. 6. "Fixinto" is one word. 7. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then      there is supper. 8. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar! 9. Backards and forards means "I know everything about you." 10. The word "Jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?" 11. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what

       time it is. You wor****il you're done or it's too dark to see. 12. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.    YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM Virginia IF: 1. You measure distance in minutes.

2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. 3. You use "fix" as a verb. For example: "I'm fixing to go git somethin      ta eat."

4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,

    grain, insect or animal. 5. You know what a "DAWG" is. 6. You carry jumper cables in your car. For your OWN car. 7. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and     Ketchup. 8. The local papers cover national and international news on one page,      but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports. 9. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

10. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit  warm". 11. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer

       and Christmas.

12. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin'  

      Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World." 13. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good soup        weather. 14. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive,       we can drive dag-nabbit. 15. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Virginia        friends (and those who just wish they were.)