My update
Good morning everyone,
First and foremost, thank you to everyone for your thoughts and support as I recover from my final (definitely!) round of reconstrutive surgery. I so appreciate knowing that people are thinking of me. Since I posted last Friday, I have made a lot of progress and feel more hopeful. I thought I would be at this point 5 or 6 days sooner, which is why I was thrown after the surgery when it just seemed so much worse than I anticipated. I have to say that the biggest contributor to my progress (in addition to plain ol' time, I'm sure) was having the 6 JP drains removed from my groin last Friday. They were so heavy and painful that it made the slightest move very difficult. Even though I still feel extremely stiff and sore (sort of like a pack of mules are using me for their trail), I am more mobile. Yesterday I spent the entire day out of bed and my husband took me for a ride in the afternoon. This morning I am gingerly sitting at my desk with a pillow to prop me up. Slowly, slowly, slowly I can feel things getting better.
While I was in the worst of things last week, I found myself going to "bad thought land" and berating myself for ever getting fat in the first place. Stupid, huh?? I was really trying not to let my thoughts get the best of me, but as I hobbled to the bathroom or tried to reposition myself in the bed, I would feel flashes of anger at myself for what I had done to my body all of these years that lead me to this place of pain. I was aware that the thoughts were not helpful, so kept trying to remind myself that I have taken back my life and am so thankful that I have support and resources available to me... and the COURAGE to use them!!
Anyway, I hope to keep the nasty thoughts at bay as I gain strength this week. I go back to the surgeon on Friday for him to start evaluating which stitches are ready to come out.
Thank you again to everyone for your support - it really does make a difference.
Mary D.
Pre op: 260 lbs, 5'3"
Goal reached 14 months later: 130 lbs
Regain over next 3.5 years to a high of: 166 lbs
Current weight: 135.8 lbs and heading back to 130 lbs!!
MAry-
Glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. These surgeries reallythrow our bodies for a loop, don't they? I recall standing there and thinking what kind of freak was I that I had to resort to such desperate measures to be normal. I focused on my scars. Now...I wear them with pride, because I know where I have been and if this is all that I am left with...well...I consider myself lucky.
You too will come to terms. Just hang in there and know that it is a mind game that we play with ourselves. You are strong and WILL win!
Hope you come out to play on Saturday - looking forward to seeing you and chatting a bit. It will be fun! But..if not...we certainly understand!
Get some rest and take care of you!
PM me if you need me......
Certified Personal Trainer
"I'm tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. if that makes me a bitch, okay." - Madonna
Beginning Weight: 265 Current Weight:143
So I run like a Girl....now keep up!
Jill, it's so helpful for me to know that you went through some of the same nasty thoughts that I had. The self-talk can be so sneaky. At least this time I didn't buy into it 100%. I read a wonderful quote in one of the WLS magazines that was along the lines of WLS gave me back my life and plastic surgery allowed me to truly enjoy it. That seemed very fitting and a good counter to the Town Meeting that sometimes convenes in my head for the sheer purpose of torturing me!
Mary D.
Pre op: 260 lbs, 5'3"
Goal reached 14 months later: 130 lbs
Regain over next 3.5 years to a high of: 166 lbs
Current weight: 135.8 lbs and heading back to 130 lbs!!
GREAT quote - I need to remember that for the next surgery. But...that ugly little guy we carry on our should (the one who, after 2 years, STILL does not undertand that Ben & Jerry and Little Debbie cannot come and play at our house -haha) was VERY vocal the first 2 weeks after surgery. Well...until I plucked him off of my shoulder- haha.
Every now and then he raises his ugly face at the most inappropriate times (like last week during dance class - almost made me leave class, but I hung in there (his gripe was how bad my thighs looked in my short skirt....but only HE noticed because it was dimly lit int he room - haha))
So...yes...I do deal with him on occasion. Just hang in there....you will look so NORMAL and AWESOME when you heal that you will be happy that you toughed it out!
Certified Personal Trainer
"I'm tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. if that makes me a bitch, okay." - Madonna
Beginning Weight: 265 Current Weight:143
So I run like a Girl....now keep up!
Good am Mary,
SO thankful and glad you are feeling/doing better. I have not yet gone through the plastics phase(s) but I certainly can understand how you have been feeling. Its hard not to let the negative feelings and thoughts pop in your mind. You WILL gain strength and movement and things WILL get better day by day. Sometimes I know I see the "big picture" and don't want to deal with all the "little steps" in between. I am reminded that its important to take things one step, one day at a time and once we get to the big picture we'll realize that we not only needed to go through all the "little steps" but we've come out of the tunnel seeing light and its NOT a freight train. Hope your recovery continues to improve every day! Prayers being sent up!
All best....
Kitty Kat - Lap RNY 29th Jan 03 
Blessed Momma to ♥ Kayla & Nora ♥
Sober since 25th Aug 07 www.the-butterfly-chronicles.blogspot.com
Thankful for the easy, grateful for the hard & hopeful for tomorrow. Kat, I completely understand the "big picture" approach. I am impatient with myself and always think I should be progressing more than I do (with anything, not just physical recoveries). It's hard for me to be kind to myself as I move through each phase of a recovery. I have to re-train myself as to what constitutes a victory - currently it's my ability to sit in this chair and post, followed by the knowledge that I can go to the bathroom if I need to!
Mary D.
Pre op: 260 lbs, 5'3"
Goal reached 14 months later: 130 lbs
Regain over next 3.5 years to a high of: 166 lbs
Current weight: 135.8 lbs and heading back to 130 lbs!!
O How I feel your pain .. Been there .. Got my T-shirt . I am yet contimplating my thigh surgery . I said I did not want to do it , but as summer gets here , I think I just may do it before the end of the year so I can be ready next summer .
Like I said before .. take it easy , protein ... water .. and rest .
You will be amazed at the outcome ..
Hugs to you .. Soft hugs that is ..
Catch up later .
Tink
Proud Obesity Help Bariatric Life Coach
Proud Obesity Help Support Group Leader
Fighting Daily the Disease We Call Obesity !
www.obesityhelp.com/group/LifeStartsWLS08
www.vawlsevents.com
Helping Others Find Their Way to a Life They Deserve!
I had a plan with my surgeon that if he thought it was necessary, he would bail on my inner thigh lift and do it another time. I have to say that I am very glad he got it done, because I would end up not having it at all! It's very raw and painful at the moment, though. It feels like the kind of "chub rub" I used to have, especially during the summer. My poor inner thights would chafe and be so sore. I was thinking yesterday about how it was so difficult to walk when it would flare up and no cream, powder, garment would really take away that pain. It's interesting that I have not thought of that for a while, and yet this inner thigh lift brought me right back to that place. I did, however, recall it with compassion for myself and not with anger, so that's progress.
Mary D.
Pre op: 260 lbs, 5'3"
Goal reached 14 months later: 130 lbs
Regain over next 3.5 years to a high of: 166 lbs
Current weight: 135.8 lbs and heading back to 130 lbs!!
Glad to hear that you are feeling better. Hope you continue to grow stronger physically and mentally. Keep us posted in your progress.
Remember to rest and take care of yourself.
Cath
Cath 
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Matthew 6:33
Seek ye first the kingdom of God
Cath, thank you so much for checking in. You can tell from all the posts I am making that I have missed everyone and been longing to share this experience. I felt bad last Friday that I was whiny and negative with my posts, but I guess that's where I was at the moment. Much better today, though, so am happier to be sharing from this mental space!
Mary D.
Pre op: 260 lbs, 5'3"
Goal reached 14 months later: 130 lbs
Regain over next 3.5 years to a high of: 166 lbs
Current weight: 135.8 lbs and heading back to 130 lbs!!
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