Having second thoughts?

I am 32....5'4" 309 lbs...and I have tried every diet on the planet, but truly never stuck with it more than a couple of weeks. I have completed 3 months of kaiser options classes received a surgery date for April and am starting to talk myself out of it. I feel completly crazy!! One moment I am gung ho nothing can stop me. Then the next hour or day I am freaking out about having a major complication or worse. With a small child at home this weighs on me heavily. I question if I am doing the right thing  when I consider even a small chance not making it. I know it is a small chance but  with high blood pressure, pulmonary hypertension, and asthma I am scared for my life if I do or don't. I think that I should try once more, really do it ---but i wonder if I am just kidding myself how often have I said it in the past. I guess what I'm seeking is maybe someone in my shoes and there thought process to do or not do it. Help?!

You need to really contemplate what is right for YOU. This is your journey, nobody else's. Hopefully you will make a decision that helps you be a better person! Good luck! I'm cheering for you!

I don't think anyone is going to tell you to go ahead and have the surgery.  You are the only person that can make that decision.  I came to the conclusion that either I have the surgery or die of all the health problems related with obesity.  I had this surgery to live longer and have a good quality of life.  Good luck on your decision.....

I know. My sister says she will kill me if I back out. I guess she just knows how bad I want to be thinner and healthy.

 I'm in the same boat, honestly I had my consultation with the nurse set up my appt to meet the surgeon and nutrionist in January. I was set I wanted the sleeve nothing else..... I went on vacation and came back Feb 6th and canceled everything. I'm 28, 5'7'' and 311. I too have tried everything I even started over this week just counting calories and carbs, exercising and praying it works. I'm scared to death of the "what if's" What if something happens while in surgery and I don't make it. There is my baby girl 4yrs old without a mom and my hubby without. That is my most fear! I truely want this deep down, but on this website you read of everything ppl go thru the good and bad. And those bad just stick with me. My hubby is 100% supportive he thinks I'm pessimistic and should be optimistic for once. He tells me 4mths from now I could die of a heart attack. We don't know what the future holds, and yeah that's the truth but I know I'm okay and alive right now. Just unhappy with my weight and the way clothes fit, my knees grinding, and my back hurting tired of wondering if the chair will hold me not being able to ride a roller coaster...or will I need a seat belt extender etc.... I don't have high blood pressure or sugar as of yet, but I'm sure If the weight don't come off I will, it all runs in my family. I'm scared that I will have a leak or not tolorate foods at all. ( all the worst that could happen) I feel for you bc it's a hard choice that only you can make. I can't pressure you to have it or not to. We can only pray  that we make the right choice.  Best wishes and keep us posted. :) 

Hugs to you girl. Thank you for responding do honestly. I am going through the exact same thing, even with my husband. My little girl is 4 too. I keep thinking I will be here fat and happy - and she will gladly take a "fat" mom then no mom. Then my husband and sister get on me for being so "pessimistic".

 Awe thanks hugs back! I called the Doc office today to reschedule the first appt with the surgeon to ask questions since I didn't go thru it in Feb. I've really been thinking about it alot this year and these past few days and week. (have the past 5yrs, but never went thru with anything just yo you dieted and I'm still stuck even bigger)  So I go tuesday to ask questions and see if they can help me feel a tid bit more comfortable etc. I feel deep down I want this I guess I won't really know until that day comes and If I go thru with the surgery. Best wishes to you and I'm sure you will do what you feel is right. No matter what our kids is going to love us big or small.   
I must add I was so saddened the other day my hubby took our daughter to walmart and they got a bag of mini reese cups, Miranda my daughter said to my hubby " Only me and you can share not with mommy, (hubby asked why not mommy) and she said cuz mommy just eats them all "  I felt horrible and I only ate the 1 she gave me. 

Hang in there,  do you have someone close to you to help encourage you?  Where are you located,  someone on here might be able to help you feel better about this whole process.  You could look for a support group to go to and they will help put your mind at ease. 
The medical problems you have will most likely be resolved with the surgery.  You will be here longer for your child without those problems and you will be able to do so much more with that child. 
I am just generalizing about this,  and this is just my opinion,  you will have to make the best decision for you.  It is important you do this for you.  I believe this was the best decision I have done for myself and would do it again in a heartbeat if necessary.  I feel like a new person,  look so much better and can do so many things I haven't been able to do in many years. 
Look into a support group and I think it will help you a lot. 

Good luck in your decision,  and I will look forward to updates from you and I will send good thoughts and prayers your way.

I've felt the same way too. I've gone back and forth. 5 years ago, I was ready to see the surgeon and blammo, I chickened out. Over the next couple of years my weight was out of control!! I was diagnosed with a heart condition, my knees got worse, and lots more bad stuff.
I'm ready to meet the sugeon again. I've gone through my meetings and classes and pre surgery weight loss.
I still get nervous, but I made a long list of pros and cons. Then, when reading them over (trying to talk myself out of surgery...lol) I ended up answering all of my cons with logical ideas I just have to kep remembering that list and that if I don't lose weight I'll only get sicker. 
For me, I'm going for it. If anything bad happens, at least I was trying my best to get healthier. 

Best of luck and health, and peace in your decision.

Since talkling to surgeons are there any additional precautions or concerns with having a heart condition.?