Its a new normal... weiirrnddessss
It is amazing and wonderful the freedom I feel now. It was sooo tough being both overweight-conscious and dieting conscious. Talk about exhausting work! I worried if I'd feel "lost" without one or the other or both.
I could have never succeeded in this without the sleeve. It was just undoable. Yes, I still think about weight, but shockingly not AS MUCH as I once did. I think about living!!
I almost begin to forget those things I had to live with daily at 277lbs...like is a car going to park so close to me that I won't be able to get out? In a classroom or restaurant how are the tables arranged so that, should I need to shimmy out of my table, will I be able to pass around tables without disrupting them? Chair-thoughts of all sorts: is desk too tiny, concert/game seats--well, you might as well have put me in a straitjacket, theater seats, wondering if the seatbelt in someones car would make that clickity sound where it then restricts you. Ugghhh. I am going to a concert tonight and a ballgame tomorrow night, and until just now, I totally forgot about seats. No problem now!
I had to get tall jeans before because, for some reason, everything was shorter on bigger me. Tops would shift and I always was concerned of showing my belly. I always tried to dress well, but it was so much more difficult. I wanted to wear dresses and skirts and look feminine, butt holding my legs ladylike was much more of an ordeal. I have a few different events over the next few days and I have outfits selected for each already! It is FUN now, before it just meant I was about to have to confront my least favorite part of me.
While I still detest exercise, it's doable. Things like walking around downtown is at least doable, and sometimes actually fun now.
I realized I am not a slave to food anymore. I still really love food, and I have weird blood sugar so I always pack food to have with me at all times, but it's not that sinking, addict, must have food feeling now. Actually, I didn't even realize I had felt this way until I saw how I feel now.
Pants, even belted pants, always rolled down! :( I guess my belly forced them to curl over, particularly when I was sitting. Underwear did the same thing :(
I like the new normal. The ability to live comfortably in my own skin, physically and emotionally.
I could have never succeeded in this without the sleeve. It was just undoable. Yes, I still think about weight, but shockingly not AS MUCH as I once did. I think about living!!
I almost begin to forget those things I had to live with daily at 277lbs...like is a car going to park so close to me that I won't be able to get out? In a classroom or restaurant how are the tables arranged so that, should I need to shimmy out of my table, will I be able to pass around tables without disrupting them? Chair-thoughts of all sorts: is desk too tiny, concert/game seats--well, you might as well have put me in a straitjacket, theater seats, wondering if the seatbelt in someones car would make that clickity sound where it then restricts you. Ugghhh. I am going to a concert tonight and a ballgame tomorrow night, and until just now, I totally forgot about seats. No problem now!
I had to get tall jeans before because, for some reason, everything was shorter on bigger me. Tops would shift and I always was concerned of showing my belly. I always tried to dress well, but it was so much more difficult. I wanted to wear dresses and skirts and look feminine, butt holding my legs ladylike was much more of an ordeal. I have a few different events over the next few days and I have outfits selected for each already! It is FUN now, before it just meant I was about to have to confront my least favorite part of me.
While I still detest exercise, it's doable. Things like walking around downtown is at least doable, and sometimes actually fun now.
I realized I am not a slave to food anymore. I still really love food, and I have weird blood sugar so I always pack food to have with me at all times, but it's not that sinking, addict, must have food feeling now. Actually, I didn't even realize I had felt this way until I saw how I feel now.
Pants, even belted pants, always rolled down! :( I guess my belly forced them to curl over, particularly when I was sitting. Underwear did the same thing :(
I like the new normal. The ability to live comfortably in my own skin, physically and emotionally.
Love your posts lady. Always interesting and sometimes hilarious.
Yeah, I guess this is the new normal but you know what, its a lot better than the old normal - at least for me. the old normal was stretch pants, back aches constantly, feeling like crap, self loathing, discrimination, high bp and such and a host of problems with being obese.
The new normal is checking in on OH a lot and blathering a lot, working at maintenance which so far hasn't been too difficult, and enjoying life minus that nasty 125 extra pounds that was really cramping my style. And yeah, I did the drag around jeans shortening method for as long as i could wear jeans but was so fat that I had to give them up for fat lady stretch knit pants as no jeams were proportioned properly regardless of size. The most depressing thing on the planet, short of a funeral, is going in store dressing rooms with a stack of huge jeans and finding in the hideousness of florescent lights that none of them fit and you look like crap no matter what.
So the new normal is grand indeed. Enjoy those kids. You are gonna have so much more fun with them as a slimmer mom.
Diane
Yeah, I guess this is the new normal but you know what, its a lot better than the old normal - at least for me. the old normal was stretch pants, back aches constantly, feeling like crap, self loathing, discrimination, high bp and such and a host of problems with being obese.
The new normal is checking in on OH a lot and blathering a lot, working at maintenance which so far hasn't been too difficult, and enjoying life minus that nasty 125 extra pounds that was really cramping my style. And yeah, I did the drag around jeans shortening method for as long as i could wear jeans but was so fat that I had to give them up for fat lady stretch knit pants as no jeams were proportioned properly regardless of size. The most depressing thing on the planet, short of a funeral, is going in store dressing rooms with a stack of huge jeans and finding in the hideousness of florescent lights that none of them fit and you look like crap no matter what.
So the new normal is grand indeed. Enjoy those kids. You are gonna have so much more fun with them as a slimmer mom.
Diane
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CW 136 
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Julie, 5' 3", age 42. Starting weight: 263, Surgery weight: 255
Blogging at www.freejulie.blogspot.com
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