To the guys here (and the women)...help needed for a good freind!

I wish my next door neighbor would be receptive to talking to you guys! I saw him on Sunday and found out he's having severe cateract trouble due to type 2 diabetes caused by being severly overweight. He also has high blood pressure and a host of other things going on.

This situation is breaking my heart since he's a hell of a good guy and they have 2 young adult children with special needs, their son isn't verbal and needs a lot of care. If anything happens to him, I'm not sure his wife could cope on her own with the demand and needs of their kids. She is pretty overweight too and has some medical concerns as well.

He and his wife have made comments about me shrinking and I'm always an open book about my VSG so they know I had surgery. I never push WLS surgery on anyone as a general rule, I know it can be a sensitive subject. I broke my own rule on Sunday and gently suggested if he had questions about WLS that I had some great resources for him. (The voices in my head screaming OH..OH)

Is there anything I can do other than what I already did without offending him? I am heartsick this is happening to such great people! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Heidi

I think you have done all you can do.  You know what it is like to be overweight and imagine how you would feel if someone said to you "I think WLS could really help you".  You may have been receptive, but myself I would have been extremely hurt.  I had to come to the conclusion that I NEEDED, not wanted, but NEEDED it myself.  You have planted the seed, let's hope it grows.

If you ever do walks around the neighborhood, I'd suggest asking one/both of them to join you when you go. It sounds like you've already reached out...sometimes a seed is all that's needed. If they have questions I'm sure they'll ask.

Just seeing some family and friends having the surgery, and the fun of weight loss, and then seeing how it changed the lives for the better.  Was enough to get my attention, as to wanting that for myself..   Just be out and let them see you change..  If you guys are friends, then give her some of your clothes, you can't ware.   Spend time with them when you can, let them kind of know when your going out dancing, or doing other things to show the fun your able to have now..  My friends told me they wasn't hungry any more, that they don't think of food the same, or taste have changed from what they used to love to eat, to not liking that stuff any more..  That is the kinds of things that really turned my head..  The thought of not being hungry, and having control over what I want to eat.  It might make a difference for them to know..   I wish you luck, on and BTW, it never bothered me, for them to tell me I should think about having it, and looking into the different kinds of surgeries.. I needed for them to tell me, and also to tell me, how many different kinds are available, to fit needs, and health. 

I think you've done what you can.

They've seen the excellent results you've had with the sleeve. Like you, I send people to OH all the time so they can read the stories, see the before and after pictures and possibly get motivated about making changes to their life.

Developing high blood pressure and being to fat to participate in my childrens life were instrumental in making me decide on WLS.

Your neighbors need to come to the decision on their own. You've been a good friend and neighbor by sharing your story and success.

Hope they see the benefits.

George

Thank you all so much for your input! Like I said, I am sick with worry for them and don't want to overstep the bounds of our friendship. They are very dear friends to me and have been the kind of dream neighbors people always hope for.
I'm praying they find their way...whatever it may be.

Heidi

I think you have done what you can do, and I'm glad you're open about your surgery. Honestly, they have to come to the decision on their own, but hopefully just seeing you changing, and being able to do more, feeling better, not to mention looking hot, will help them realize that this is really an option.