"Back then they didn't want me; now I'm hot and they all on me..."

Hey Sleevers and Soon-to-be-Sleevers!

Thinking back, I can remember all of the tortuous moments when I saw a guy I thought was DA BOMB and he walked right past  me like I didn't exist...  I'm thinking, "Hello!!!!!!!!! I know you saw all this 300+lbs of beauty! You betta recognize!!" But alas, I said nothing. I just retreated to the wall and watched everyone else hook up and get phone numbers, and I pretended to be happy for them. I mean, seriously, OH, I couldn't even get the ugly guys to come holla at me!

Well, as time gets closer, I've found that I haven't been as quiet about my surgery as I planned. I told some cousins of mine and my friends, and they all keep saying how the guys who don't notice me NOW or just wanna be my friend NOW, they are gonna try their best to push up on me after I lose weight. Well, right now, I still can't imagine this happening. I'm like, "Whoa, let's just make sure all of this works out first. THEN I'll think about guys and their agendas!" LOL And quite frankly, I want to take this year to concentrate on my body and the changes that are going to happen. I guess I should have prefaced this post by saying that I'm not having surgery to get attention from people. I am obese...well, I'm SMO (I hate that terminology) so please believe this is about MY HEALTH and wellness. Anything else is just extra!

So, OH family, tell me. Have you had a "Back then they didn't want me, now I'm hot and they all on me!" moment? How did you handle that 'new' attention? This could be with any situation. A clothing store, amongst friends, coworkers, the opposite sex.... What did/do you do?

I have found that just in general, people are nicer and more solicitous of me than was the case when I weighed 284. Fat discrimination and hatred is just a reality - sad but true.

I just accept it, not looking for a man (my husband would be displeased if I were!) and have renewed my committment to speak up when anyone says anything hateful about people who are higher than average in weight.

This is also why I do tell about my surgery - I HATE the assumption that people are fat because they are slothful and gluttonous. I am pretty much the same person, for better or for worse, no more or less virtuous, as I was before surgery. It took a change to my body to make it possible for me to eat the way I needed to eat in order to lose weight.

GIRL!!! I was just talking about this with one of my friends. I'm still waiting on my approval process but I'm praying for May 30 or June 6. I will definitely let you know when my Mike Jones (WHO??LOL) moment comes. But I just love this post and I CAN RELATE to exactly how you felt.

 At 6 weeks out, I am already noticing that I am getting the double-takes, and people slowing to check me out and crap.  It's all good I guess.  I don't really care.  At first I thought there was something broken on my car, or my fly was down or something.  It's been quite a while, LOL.  Probably a good 7-8 years since I really got a second glance.   I wasn't always MO, so I know how to handle it.  You need to be very, very careful.  It can be exciting, and it's ok to enjoy the attention, in my opinion.  Jus****ch out for those who want to hit it and forget it.  Because they WILL, they DO.  You don't want to just share this new body you worked hard to get with anyone and invite other problems into your life.  Be selective, you EARNED it girl!  

I worry about this a lot. I date a lot currently but I worry that post-surgery my guy friends or guys that I know (or don't know, I guess) will treat me differently. Most people tell me I shouldn't worry about it but it's something you can't help but think about.

And I agree with what you said, and it's my plan too. I'm just gonna worry about me for a while cause this isn't about anyone else BUT me.

Good luck!

Girl you got me up in the office rapping that song. I love it.  I haven't had that moment yet but I am sure I will have one soon enough. I know it will be flattering, however I am sure my husband will disapprove. I know how it feels to be the heavy one and all of your friends are getting hollered at and you someone where faking a smile trying to get through it and act like you are good with it. Its a nightmare. Hopefully not for long though. My paperwork has been submitted the the insurance company and I am ready for my approval.

People will be cruel to the overweight, it's just the way things are. Those same people will be the first to jump in line as soon as they notice you've lost weight though. Then it's your turn to be coy and choosy about who does actually get to "push up on you". It's a very nice side benefit to getting your health back. The attention keeps you motivated even when your not yearning for attention.

Get ready for it little Diva! ... Craig

it is maybe the most annoying thing you will notice in people you see/saw everyday. I have been "attractive" my whole life. I bought clothes that fit me well and always kept up my appearance. Honestly if I did not get to 300 bls I don't think I would have cared. At the same time I have lost a lot of weight before and was living in NYC at the time. There if you look good no one skips a beat to tell you, but I noticed the difference in my real interactions. Conversations, dating and giving up my number all felt superficial. You see the same people every day and then all of a sudden you don't have to chip in anymore, or they are willing to drive further to pick you up, or people really want to hear what you have to say. It really upsets you because you want to scream I am the same person but here is a real question what if you are not the same person?
what if you smile more, or make more eye contact, or are willing to accept more social invitations? What is they are meeting the new you that you never let come out?

MAKE 'EM BEG AND CRAWL GIRL!!!!  LOL!!!  

This is an interesting topic. I have found it to be true that people are more dismissive of you when you are morbidly obese, I cant even fathom having been super morbidly obese as far as how much crappier people probably would have treated me. Ugh.

But, alas it is true that you WILL get extra/new attention after WLS. I think it is important to remember who you are and not forget what YOU want and what YOU are looking for and where you came from. Extra attention is nice but it doesnt change who you are.

Besides the health benefits, you are allowed to embrace the vanity side- that with weight loss comes cuter clothes and looking better..It comes with the terratory and as a woman I feel we are allowed to enojoy it. I do and wont apologize for it.

I am sure like me you will also find yourself more outspoken, quicker to state and opinion, less likely to be pushed around, and less of a wallflower. I guess these changes come with a confidence boost..

xoxox
Sassy